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seriousficHis catchphrase is "Til death do you... DIE!"
Okay, so it wasn't quite that bad. There was material for lots of "Lois doesn't ship Chimmy" icons, then Clark and Lois had chemistry, then Ollie and The Artist Formerly Known as Mercy got into a stick-fight and had sex (which usually only happens in fanfics, for certain values of "stick-fight"). Oh, and there was a mood-whiplash plot about the gruesome killings of newlyweds and how Chloe and Jimmy are meant to be despite all evidence to the contrary (you know the show is selling it too hard when the characters say to each other "Boy, that sadistic serial killer sure proved we loved each other."). But mostly stick-fighting and sexy banter.
Oh, and Ollie cuckoldings are enough to turn you EEVIL. Just run-of-the-mill cheating, too. He didn't even cheat on Tess with her mom or her sister or her mom and her sister. Tess, did you try getting a sassy new 'do before you became a butthurt dictator? Just throwing that out there. Ollie, all your wimmins will inevitably get bored of going on goatee rides, then turn gay. Gay for Barbara. Tess has already offered Smallville!Babs (aka Chloe) a job. IN HER PANTS.
ETA: DID YOU LOL WHEN OLLIE WOKE UP SHIRTLESS IN BED AND THERE WERE WHITE CURTAINS BLOWING IN THE BREEZE? YOU KNOW YOU DID! In the director's cut, Ollie got out of bed and the camera was totally soft-focus and then Meatloaf was right there, serenading him as only MEATLOAF CAN!
ETA2: And the Marriage Counselor(tm) had a Kryptonite wristwatch. Even though Kryptonite is proven to cause gruesome mutations. Because the universe hates Clark like a bulimic hates cake.
Okay, so it wasn't quite that bad. There was material for lots of "Lois doesn't ship Chimmy" icons, then Clark and Lois had chemistry, then Ollie and The Artist Formerly Known as Mercy got into a stick-fight and had sex (which usually only happens in fanfics, for certain values of "stick-fight"). Oh, and there was a mood-whiplash plot about the gruesome killings of newlyweds and how Chloe and Jimmy are meant to be despite all evidence to the contrary (you know the show is selling it too hard when the characters say to each other "Boy, that sadistic serial killer sure proved we loved each other."). But mostly stick-fighting and sexy banter.
Oh, and Ollie cuckoldings are enough to turn you EEVIL. Just run-of-the-mill cheating, too. He didn't even cheat on Tess with her mom or her sister or her mom and her sister. Tess, did you try getting a sassy new 'do before you became a butthurt dictator? Just throwing that out there. Ollie, all your wimmins will inevitably get bored of going on goatee rides, then turn gay. Gay for Barbara. Tess has already offered Smallville!Babs (aka Chloe) a job. IN HER PANTS.
ETA: DID YOU LOL WHEN OLLIE WOKE UP SHIRTLESS IN BED AND THERE WERE WHITE CURTAINS BLOWING IN THE BREEZE? YOU KNOW YOU DID! In the director's cut, Ollie got out of bed and the camera was totally soft-focus and then Meatloaf was right there, serenading him as only MEATLOAF CAN!
ETA2: And the Marriage Counselor(tm) had a Kryptonite wristwatch. Even though Kryptonite is proven to cause gruesome mutations. Because the universe hates Clark like a bulimic hates cake.
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Date: 2008-10-17 07:10 am (UTC)And I'm totally stealing "the universe hates Clark like a bulimic hates cake" for my own use. Just FYI.