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seriousficTitle: Not A Fairy Tale Romance
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,558
Characters/Pairings: Regina/Emma
Notes: This fic is an AU as of 1x07 - The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter
Previous: Part 9
Summary: Emma and Regina are living together. They can't survive it.
It'd been weeks. Emma had gotten back her old job as a bail bondsman, Henry was enrolled in school, and they'd found their own apartment. Three bedroom.
Regina was a stay-at-home mom. Even that promised too much time with Emma, so she volunteered for the mayor's re-election campaign. They had it down to only seeing each other in the mornings. A nice jolt of pain to wake Regina right up.
No one thought Henry noticed. He seemed happy enough at his new school and they shared him evenly, Emma tucking him in one night and Regina the next. It came as a shock when Regina had to pick him up from school early for getting into a fight. "Boston hippie tree huggers. Penalizing children for defending themselves." Regina wished she could turn the SUV around and make some newts out of the lot of them. "You should ask Emma for some tips. I'm sure she knows how to win schoolyard fights, along with any other juvenile delinquencies you could name."
Henry kicked his feet idly. "Mom?"
It still brought a small smile to Regina's face when he called her that. "Yes sweetie?"
"Why are you so tired all the time?"
"I'm not tired. I have coffee."
"In Storybrooke you always seemed sad. Then Emma came and even when you didn't like her you were really hyper around her. But now you're quiet all the time. Like you're trying to get to sleep."
Regina gripped the steering wheel. She couldn't put any strength into it. Her hands were clammy. "Sometimes people are just sad. They can't do anything about it. It's just the way things are."
"Is that why Emma cries at night?"
The information slid into Regina like a knife. She hadn't cried for herself, but now tears welled up. She stared straight ahead, refusing to let Henry see.
***
After work, there was a bar Emma went to to wait Regina out. She drank watered-down piss and listened to music that made up in volume what it lacked in chords. When her phone vibrated, it took a minute for her to feel it through the haze, like a brontosaurus stubbing its toe. She stole her glass and aimed herself at the backdoor, coming out in an alley carpeted with trash. She loved Boston.
She flipped her phone open, finally stilling that insistent buzzing. "Yeah?"
"I had to talk to you," Regina said instantly.
Emma finished her beer. "Is Henry okay?"
"He's fine. Well, he hears you crying." There was a long silence Regina expected Emma to fill. She didn't. "Emma, I've missed your voice so much…"
"Are you drunk? You can't be drunk, I'm drunk."
"Emma. I love you."
Emma lost her grip on the glass. It flew to the ground, cracked. "We agreed not to talk like that."
"You agreed. And you said you couldn't do it. Well, I can't live with half of you. I'd rather never see you again. You or Henry."
Emma wished she wasn't buzzed. Regina's words hit disjointed, taking time to fit together, building bombs. "What are you saying?"
Regina's voice clicked from emotional to hollow, like she was reading from a note now. "I put Henry to bed. My things are packed. I can leave by morning. If you want me to stay…" Regina was quiet for so long that Emma thought the call had been dropped. "Please want me to stay." Then she hung up.
***
Emma's hand shook as she tried to get the key into her apartment's lock. Some of her didn't want to go in, didn't want to find out if she was too late. Regina's ultimatum had left her in a daze. She'd had to sit down. It'd felt like her brain had misted over.
Emma didn't know how long she'd stayed like that, reeling from an impossible choice. Let her back in or lose her forever. How long had it taken her to realize it wasn't a choice? She could live with Regina barely in her life or a full part of it. She couldn't live without the woman. Sobering in more ways than one, she'd abandoned the Bug to run. It was only six blocks.
Now here she was, up the stairs and in front of the door, panting like she'd just run a marathon. It wasn't the distance. All her hopes and fears and wishes had exhausted her. Regina kept her going. She couldn't rest without seeing her. The woman was her insomnia.
She got the key into the lock.
Regina wasn't behind the door. She wasn't in her chair, swirling a glass of wine like she'd known Emma would come. She wasn't in the living room or the kitchen or the bedrooms. She wasn't with Henry, the boy fast asleep, not knowing one of his mothers was gone. Emma was filled with the urge to wake him up and hug him, but she wouldn't rob Henry of his last few hours having a whole family.
No! She couldn't let this happen. She'd find Regina, track her down if she had to, and make her see how Emma felt for her. Slapping at her jacket until she found the pocket with her phone in it, Emma punched in Regina's number. She hadn't even had her on speed-dial.
The phone rang, the ring-tone outside the apartment. Emma ran to the hallway, Regina standing there, checking her phone then seeing its opposite number in Emma's hand.
"I thought you were in the car," Regina said, uncomprehendingly overcome. "I know you were drinking and then I told you to come back here, I thought you had driven here and gotten into an accident and I was trying to call you and tell you not to drive, but you weren't picking up, you weren't—" The sky had fallen for her. "I hoped for this. I thought this would happen. I… anyone else would leave me, but I knew you wouldn't.
Emma found herself smiling. Despite everything, there was still something between them. Something that could be fixed. Something that could fix them. "Don't leave. Don't ever leave." She wasn't sure if it was a plea, a command, or a declaration of love.
Regina took it as all three.
Emma couldn't think anymore. She rushed into Regina's embrace, feeling her warm and solid and perfect in her arms. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Having Regina against her skin blew a hole in all Emma's defenses, everything that shored up the feelings she'd locked away. She cried. It felt wonderful.
"No. Don't be sorry, I'll be sorry. I hurt your family, but I never meant to hurt you. I didn't even know people like you existed. I thought everyone was… like me."
"And again I prove you wrong," Emma said, kissing Regina before she could make it an argument.
***
The worst part was the things that couldn't be fixed. Like how Emma cried after getting a call from Mary Margaret. But she cared enough to try and hide it from Regina. And though they slept in the same bed, they were never intimate. The desire just wasn't there. Regina had wished for weeks that Emma didn't tempt her; now that they were together, she craved that hateful energy.
It wasn't as bad as before. Now, Regina could think. She'd manipulated hundreds: their passions, their feelings, their failings. Now she had to turn that ability inward. Use it to make another happy, instead of advancing her own agenda.
Emma got back from dropping Henry off at school to find Regina with several portfolios fanned out on the coffee table. She was dressed in what Emma had come to think of as her realtor look—less powerful than her mayoral wardrobe, but still very smart. Emma took her implied seat and listened intently.
"Emma. Thank you for coming."
"I live here," she answered.
Regina ignored the jibe. She'd gotten good at ignoring Emma. Too good. "I've been thinking about our relationship. How to get back what we had."
"What we had was based on a lie," Emma said, but gently. "Not to be a bitch, but now that we know the truth, what can we get back?"
"It wasn't all a lie." It struck Emma how smoothly the emotion entered Regina's voice. It was under control, but it was just so there. Like a part of her. "And to sort the truth from the lie, I think we need some distance."
"Distance…" Emma looked at the portfolios. They were travel arrangements. "You're leaving."
"Temporarily. And it doesn't have to be me. It'll be summer vacation soon. You could take Henry. Spend some time in Storybrooke." Regina misinterpreted the look on Emma's face. "Or I could take a vacation. I've been on the job for twenty-eight years…"
"If Henry and I leave, what happens to you?"
Regina picked up the folder with the Storybrooke bus schedules and shuffled the papers. "The mayoral race is this summer. I've risen high in Mayor Frost's campaign. I'll be kept busy even without two children to look after."
"Two…?" Emma slapped Regina's shoulder. "The jokes are my department, you know. You can admit you're nervous, no humor required."
"I'm always nervous. I keep dreaming you'll leave me for good." Regina set the schedules on Emma's lap. "This way I'll know you're coming back."
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,558
Characters/Pairings: Regina/Emma
Notes: This fic is an AU as of 1x07 - The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter
Previous: Part 9
Summary: Emma and Regina are living together. They can't survive it.
It'd been weeks. Emma had gotten back her old job as a bail bondsman, Henry was enrolled in school, and they'd found their own apartment. Three bedroom.
Regina was a stay-at-home mom. Even that promised too much time with Emma, so she volunteered for the mayor's re-election campaign. They had it down to only seeing each other in the mornings. A nice jolt of pain to wake Regina right up.
No one thought Henry noticed. He seemed happy enough at his new school and they shared him evenly, Emma tucking him in one night and Regina the next. It came as a shock when Regina had to pick him up from school early for getting into a fight. "Boston hippie tree huggers. Penalizing children for defending themselves." Regina wished she could turn the SUV around and make some newts out of the lot of them. "You should ask Emma for some tips. I'm sure she knows how to win schoolyard fights, along with any other juvenile delinquencies you could name."
Henry kicked his feet idly. "Mom?"
It still brought a small smile to Regina's face when he called her that. "Yes sweetie?"
"Why are you so tired all the time?"
"I'm not tired. I have coffee."
"In Storybrooke you always seemed sad. Then Emma came and even when you didn't like her you were really hyper around her. But now you're quiet all the time. Like you're trying to get to sleep."
Regina gripped the steering wheel. She couldn't put any strength into it. Her hands were clammy. "Sometimes people are just sad. They can't do anything about it. It's just the way things are."
"Is that why Emma cries at night?"
The information slid into Regina like a knife. She hadn't cried for herself, but now tears welled up. She stared straight ahead, refusing to let Henry see.
***
After work, there was a bar Emma went to to wait Regina out. She drank watered-down piss and listened to music that made up in volume what it lacked in chords. When her phone vibrated, it took a minute for her to feel it through the haze, like a brontosaurus stubbing its toe. She stole her glass and aimed herself at the backdoor, coming out in an alley carpeted with trash. She loved Boston.
She flipped her phone open, finally stilling that insistent buzzing. "Yeah?"
"I had to talk to you," Regina said instantly.
Emma finished her beer. "Is Henry okay?"
"He's fine. Well, he hears you crying." There was a long silence Regina expected Emma to fill. She didn't. "Emma, I've missed your voice so much…"
"Are you drunk? You can't be drunk, I'm drunk."
"Emma. I love you."
Emma lost her grip on the glass. It flew to the ground, cracked. "We agreed not to talk like that."
"You agreed. And you said you couldn't do it. Well, I can't live with half of you. I'd rather never see you again. You or Henry."
Emma wished she wasn't buzzed. Regina's words hit disjointed, taking time to fit together, building bombs. "What are you saying?"
Regina's voice clicked from emotional to hollow, like she was reading from a note now. "I put Henry to bed. My things are packed. I can leave by morning. If you want me to stay…" Regina was quiet for so long that Emma thought the call had been dropped. "Please want me to stay." Then she hung up.
***
Emma's hand shook as she tried to get the key into her apartment's lock. Some of her didn't want to go in, didn't want to find out if she was too late. Regina's ultimatum had left her in a daze. She'd had to sit down. It'd felt like her brain had misted over.
Emma didn't know how long she'd stayed like that, reeling from an impossible choice. Let her back in or lose her forever. How long had it taken her to realize it wasn't a choice? She could live with Regina barely in her life or a full part of it. She couldn't live without the woman. Sobering in more ways than one, she'd abandoned the Bug to run. It was only six blocks.
Now here she was, up the stairs and in front of the door, panting like she'd just run a marathon. It wasn't the distance. All her hopes and fears and wishes had exhausted her. Regina kept her going. She couldn't rest without seeing her. The woman was her insomnia.
She got the key into the lock.
Regina wasn't behind the door. She wasn't in her chair, swirling a glass of wine like she'd known Emma would come. She wasn't in the living room or the kitchen or the bedrooms. She wasn't with Henry, the boy fast asleep, not knowing one of his mothers was gone. Emma was filled with the urge to wake him up and hug him, but she wouldn't rob Henry of his last few hours having a whole family.
No! She couldn't let this happen. She'd find Regina, track her down if she had to, and make her see how Emma felt for her. Slapping at her jacket until she found the pocket with her phone in it, Emma punched in Regina's number. She hadn't even had her on speed-dial.
The phone rang, the ring-tone outside the apartment. Emma ran to the hallway, Regina standing there, checking her phone then seeing its opposite number in Emma's hand.
"I thought you were in the car," Regina said, uncomprehendingly overcome. "I know you were drinking and then I told you to come back here, I thought you had driven here and gotten into an accident and I was trying to call you and tell you not to drive, but you weren't picking up, you weren't—" The sky had fallen for her. "I hoped for this. I thought this would happen. I… anyone else would leave me, but I knew you wouldn't.
Emma found herself smiling. Despite everything, there was still something between them. Something that could be fixed. Something that could fix them. "Don't leave. Don't ever leave." She wasn't sure if it was a plea, a command, or a declaration of love.
Regina took it as all three.
Emma couldn't think anymore. She rushed into Regina's embrace, feeling her warm and solid and perfect in her arms. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Having Regina against her skin blew a hole in all Emma's defenses, everything that shored up the feelings she'd locked away. She cried. It felt wonderful.
"No. Don't be sorry, I'll be sorry. I hurt your family, but I never meant to hurt you. I didn't even know people like you existed. I thought everyone was… like me."
"And again I prove you wrong," Emma said, kissing Regina before she could make it an argument.
***
The worst part was the things that couldn't be fixed. Like how Emma cried after getting a call from Mary Margaret. But she cared enough to try and hide it from Regina. And though they slept in the same bed, they were never intimate. The desire just wasn't there. Regina had wished for weeks that Emma didn't tempt her; now that they were together, she craved that hateful energy.
It wasn't as bad as before. Now, Regina could think. She'd manipulated hundreds: their passions, their feelings, their failings. Now she had to turn that ability inward. Use it to make another happy, instead of advancing her own agenda.
Emma got back from dropping Henry off at school to find Regina with several portfolios fanned out on the coffee table. She was dressed in what Emma had come to think of as her realtor look—less powerful than her mayoral wardrobe, but still very smart. Emma took her implied seat and listened intently.
"Emma. Thank you for coming."
"I live here," she answered.
Regina ignored the jibe. She'd gotten good at ignoring Emma. Too good. "I've been thinking about our relationship. How to get back what we had."
"What we had was based on a lie," Emma said, but gently. "Not to be a bitch, but now that we know the truth, what can we get back?"
"It wasn't all a lie." It struck Emma how smoothly the emotion entered Regina's voice. It was under control, but it was just so there. Like a part of her. "And to sort the truth from the lie, I think we need some distance."
"Distance…" Emma looked at the portfolios. They were travel arrangements. "You're leaving."
"Temporarily. And it doesn't have to be me. It'll be summer vacation soon. You could take Henry. Spend some time in Storybrooke." Regina misinterpreted the look on Emma's face. "Or I could take a vacation. I've been on the job for twenty-eight years…"
"If Henry and I leave, what happens to you?"
Regina picked up the folder with the Storybrooke bus schedules and shuffled the papers. "The mayoral race is this summer. I've risen high in Mayor Frost's campaign. I'll be kept busy even without two children to look after."
"Two…?" Emma slapped Regina's shoulder. "The jokes are my department, you know. You can admit you're nervous, no humor required."
"I'm always nervous. I keep dreaming you'll leave me for good." Regina set the schedules on Emma's lap. "This way I'll know you're coming back."
