Deep hurting

[seriousfic]

So my library has The Loch by noted hack Steve Alten (his last two novels, I recall, featured sea monsters eating people on behalf of Osama bin Laden and a robot submarine which gains sentience after being struck by lightning and then nukes Iraq, to the approval of the hero (GUNNAR WOLFE!)). On the cover is this blurb: "...the best work of fiction since King Kong and The Lost World!" (suck it, Casablanca!) - Loren Coleman, world's leading cryptozoologist (isn't that like being the world's best warlock?).

ETA: Phonetic accents! Phonetic accents everywhere!