Goddamnit, humanity
Aug. 21st, 2010 12:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seriousficSo I went to go see Piranha 3D and in line, the people in front of me were a man and his son. They bought tickets to Vampires Suck. Even worse, the kid wanted to go see The Other Guys, which is both PG-13 and actually funny. See, my parents love me, so when I was a kid, they exposed me to stuff like Monty Python and Looney Tunes, so now that I've grown up, I don't find Dane Cook funny. That little kid is going to grow up and laugh his ass off to Carlos Mencia 2025.
Then I get into the theater and it's abandoned... except for her mom and her two kids. Like, little kids. This is Piranha 3D, mind you. The poster looks like this.
In the first five minutes, someone is eaten alive on-screen, in graphic detail. In the next five minutes, there are numerous shots of co-eds frolicking in bikinis. The B-plot revolves around Girls Gone Wild. It is not one of those R-rated movies aimed at kids. You know how I'm sure? Because there are no fucking R-rated movies aimed at kids! They are for adults, like bars or strip clubs. It is one of those awesome things about being adult that kids should have to wait for.
So I figured the lady would leave once she realized this was a movie that was promoted for a lesbian love scene between Kelly Brock and a porn star. But no! She sticks it out to the bitter end. Because why leave to see a more age-appropriate movie when you can just make comments about how sinful it is for women to have sex? Look, watching a movie full of nudity with your kids is bad on all fronts. You're doing the kids a disservice by mixing parenting with sexuality, you're doing the nudity a disservice by not letting it be enjoyed as the beautiful thing that it is, and I should hope you're not enjoying exposing your kids to boobies either. It's called Netflix. Show your kids some Godzilla movies, or Tremors, or some Hammer films. Let the R-rated movies be taboo, that's part of the fun. We all know kids going to see tits and blood and such, but at least have the courtesy to let them do it behind your back.
ETA: Exception: Dads are allowed to show Die Hard and other Shane Black-y classics to sons age 12. This is so they don't start thinking that action films are supposed to have shakycam in them. So Terminator 2 would be okay, but Basic Instinct would be a bad idea. See? These are easy judgment calls.
Then I get into the theater and it's abandoned... except for her mom and her two kids. Like, little kids. This is Piranha 3D, mind you. The poster looks like this.
In the first five minutes, someone is eaten alive on-screen, in graphic detail. In the next five minutes, there are numerous shots of co-eds frolicking in bikinis. The B-plot revolves around Girls Gone Wild. It is not one of those R-rated movies aimed at kids. You know how I'm sure? Because there are no fucking R-rated movies aimed at kids! They are for adults, like bars or strip clubs. It is one of those awesome things about being adult that kids should have to wait for.
So I figured the lady would leave once she realized this was a movie that was promoted for a lesbian love scene between Kelly Brock and a porn star. But no! She sticks it out to the bitter end. Because why leave to see a more age-appropriate movie when you can just make comments about how sinful it is for women to have sex? Look, watching a movie full of nudity with your kids is bad on all fronts. You're doing the kids a disservice by mixing parenting with sexuality, you're doing the nudity a disservice by not letting it be enjoyed as the beautiful thing that it is, and I should hope you're not enjoying exposing your kids to boobies either. It's called Netflix. Show your kids some Godzilla movies, or Tremors, or some Hammer films. Let the R-rated movies be taboo, that's part of the fun. We all know kids going to see tits and blood and such, but at least have the courtesy to let them do it behind your back.
ETA: Exception: Dads are allowed to show Die Hard and other Shane Black-y classics to sons age 12. This is so they don't start thinking that action films are supposed to have shakycam in them. So Terminator 2 would be okay, but Basic Instinct would be a bad idea. See? These are easy judgment calls.
