The Other Wife 7/12: Unfaithful
Apr. 7th, 2008 09:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seriousficTitle: Unfaithful
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Dick/Babs, Dick/Kory, Wally West,
Word Count: 4,271
Series: The Other Wife
Summary: The hardest part of making up for a crime is confessing it.
Month 5
Month 5 – December – Unfaithful
Dick had tried hard to erase Kory from his body, wash her off like she was a stain (of lipstick, of her saliva on his thigh and pelvis and between). After sleep-walking through Barbara’s enjoyment of the gift, a brief visit to James Gordon, and a lovemaking with Barbara so lackluster that he couldn’t even get it up, he threw himself into the shower like it could save his life. But two cold showers just made it worse. Thankfully, Barbara was fast asleep when he came back to bed, so he didn’t have to face her.
Fuck-up. This is what you wanted. Stop it.
He lay in bed, unable to sleep, just feeling the phantom sensations of Kory still running through him. The worst part wasn’t the sex. He and Barbara had had better, longer, and afterglows not tinged with guilt and self-loathing. It was the freedom. While Kory was blowing him, all the niggling doubts and insecurities were driven out of his mind, replaced with pure serenity. It was like he was leading the Titans again. Even then, Kory had lifted the crushing responsibility of leading others into battle. Since then, the pressure had piled on. Live up to Barbara, live up to Bruce, don’t disappoint anyone. And with each new person he let into his life, he’d felt himself twist a few more degrees off axis.
With Kory, he felt like himself again. And never more so, never more right than when she’d kissed him, although what had come after was a close second. Even with the actual deed done, even half-asleep with Barbara in his arms, he felt unfaithful because he couldn’t stop thinking of how good it had felt with Kory. Spiritually, emotionally… he wanted what Donna had. He wanted that freedom again. And he couldn’t have it, but he would never stop wanting it. Never.
He didn’t remember falling asleep, but when he did he dreamed of Kory moving over him. Her breasts were as full as they had been when his hands were first fitted to them, but they swelled and spouted blood instead of milk and he drowned while Barbara sat in her hatred, without him to save her, and Bruce was so disappointed in him and Tim thought he was such an idiot and Kory was… the only bright spot in the nightmare, the one who held him and cooed and kissed him softly despite her fangs.
Dick woke up in a cold sweat, cured it with another cold shower. He found some of those damned unhealthy Hot Pockets and decided to spoil Barbara. She deserved it, for putting up with him. He bought them to her, steaming hot, and she accepted them.
“I love you,” he said, hoping she could reach in like a surgeon and scalpel out the truth of it and forgive him anyway. Dear God, don’t make him have to say it. He was sorry.
“Mmm-hmm,” Barbara said as she chowed, lost in bits and bytes. He bent down to kiss her forehead anyway.
Seeing her shamed him so deep that for a solid week after that Dick fought crime twenty-four seven. He jetted from night to night, evading the sun through every time zone, dropping in on any hero he could think of. Guy stuff, his note to Barbara said. She read it on the first day of his self-imposed exile, sure there were things going on that he wasn’t telling her.
Well, that was fine. She was his wife and he would tell her when he was ready. She could wait. She could use all the information breaking power at her fingertips for things other than finding out what her husband was up to. She could.
Kory flounced in, pirouetting through the air in hops and skips that were aided by her flight ability. She had a flower with a thick head in one hand, and was using it almost like a bandleader with a baton. “I am in love!”
Barbara choked on her Corn Flakes. For a moment, she thought of Kory running off to be with Dick in wherever… them dancing the night away in Paris while Barbara was caged, the Clocktower her own personal Tower of London.
It was less than reassuring that her first thought was Kory would never do that to anyone.
“Anyone I know?” Barbara asked tensely.
Kory slotted the flower into the empty vase on Barbara’s table.
“Donna Troy! Oh, does she not have a lovely name even?”
“Beautiful name,” Barbara said in relief, watching as Kory filled the vase with water.
***
Keystone City wasn’t like Gotham. That was plain from the way Dick and Wally had turned out, but once you got there it became stunningly obvious. Even at night, with the open architecture wreathed in shadow and the friendly inhabitants asleep in bed, you could tell the difference. Keystone breathed differently. Nightwing acclimated himself to the rhythm, strange and new. It reminded him of his first night in Bludhaven, of a plunge into icy water. Pickings were light – two muggers and a burglar – so he gave up on subterfuge and knocked on Wally’s door.
The house was just this side of ordinary, not that Dick had much familiarity with that. It probably could’ve passed for normal if not for the winding road that led to it, as isolated as any castle for fear of collateral damage during a supervillain attack. Dick could also detect that the construction materials were advanced stuff, the kind of thing you could drop a bomb on and still have standing. He felt the familiar permutation of sensors scanning him for weapons or any other threat he posed, but they shut off when they recognized him as a friend.
On the second knock, Wally answered. He was naked from the waist up, except for a blue robe he’d belted over his pajama bottoms.
“Nightwing. Wow, you look like shit. When’s the last time you slept?”
“It’s not important.”
Wally let loose a knowing grunt. “Come inside, my couch is always open.”
Nightwing followed him in, passing the JLA transporter under the stairs. In a flash, Wally had him served with some late-night snacking material. Most of it seemed to be leftovers from Thanksgiving, still clinging to life.
“I need to talk to you,” Dick said, taking off his mask.
Wally registered the domino mask dropping on the counter, saw how Dick wasn’t even picking at his food. With a long-suffering sigh, he took a drink of water.
“You do? Oh, this isn’t going to be one of those fun talks with lots of pop culture references, is it?”
“I cheated on Barbara.”
Wally held up a hand, gesturing for him to stop right there. “…wow… okay, first off… I don’t even have a first off.”
Dick’s head was in his hands. He looked like a caged animal, and even worse without his mask. There was a bruise distorting the orbit of one eye, and heavy bags under the other. In the stark light of the kitchen, his stubble stood out in sharp relief. Wally took another drink and wished he had something stronger on hand.
“I’m a cheater, I’m a cheater, I’m a cheater, I’m a horrible person,” Dick was saying.
“You’re not a horrible person… and you’re not a cheater either.”
That got Dick’s attention. Eyes brightening a little from their dead-fish dullness earlier, he looked up at Wally through his fingers.
“I’m not?”
“No! You love Barbara! You’d never cheat on her.” Wally leaned onto the counter across from Dick, like he was conveying a great secret. “I’ll tell you what happened. Some rogue found out who you and Barbara are, then they got smart and decided to throw you off your game. So they sent some skank to pheromone you until you fell into her arms.”
Dick moaned in dismay and slumped back in his chair. “Not likely.”
“Why not?”
“It was Kory.”
Wally let out an agitated breath. “You could’ve mentioned that sooner.”
“It started off innocently enough… Kory invited me to watch her have sex with Donna…”
Wally perked up like a meerkat. “That’s innocent? To who, Colin Ferrell?”
Dick sighed. “Next thing I knew she had her lips around my cock.”
“Any chance she was a shapeshifter?”
“No. There’s this thing she does with her tongue…”
“Married man you’re talking to, Dick.”
“That’s why I came to you.” Dick stood up miserably, like a tired dog being jerked to its feet by a leash, and crossed his arms. “What should I do?”
“Tell Barbara.”
Dick spun on his heel and stampeded over to the wall, where he rested both hands. “I was afraid you were going to say that.” He turned around and drifted back into the wall until it supported his weight. “I can’t tell Barbara.”
Wally hopped up onto the counter. Very neatly, very calmly, he folded his hands in his lap. “Then she’s going to find out from someone else and it’ll be that much worse.”
Dick’s head was thrown backwards into the wall. “Does she have to know?”
“She’s going to know.” From his perch on the counter, Wally watched as Dick wandered out into the middle of the room, hugging himself. “Even if you get lucky and she doesn’t, that just means you’ll have this guilt hanging over your head for the rest of your life.”
Dick hugged himself tighter as he turned to look at Wally. “I’m comfortable with guilt. And Babs is so happy… I can’t spoil that.”
“It already is spoiled. You think she won’t notice you acting different?”
“I can’t risk…” Dick trailed off. He was being selfish, once more thinking of himself and how much it would hurt to be excised from the imperfect perfection he had with Barbara.
“You think Kory will like being the other woman?”
Overcome, Dick sunk his face into one hand. “Oh God… Kory…”
He couldn’t recall ever having let down so many people. There was Barbara, obviously, who’d believed him when he promised with a ring to be a good husband. But there were also his parents, and Bruce and Alfred, who’d raised him to be a better man than this. And Tim, who looked to him as a moral compass even more than he looked up to Bruce. Kory, who as a Tamaranian couldn’t be expected to control herself, but had relied on him to lead her. Even Donna, poor Donna, who’d had something sweet and pure with Kory before he’d tainted it.
Wally snapped his fingers. “You a’ight? You were spacing out on me.”
Gravity dragged Dick down into an armchair, where he nearly folded in on himself. “Sorry.”
“Listen, this isn’t the end of the world.” Wally shimmied off the counter and sped over to Dick so he was sitting on the armrest of the plush leather chair. “Trust me, I’ve seen the end of the world. It ends with either a bang or a whimper, not a blowjob. With a little damage control, this can all blow over.” He chopped his arms in either direction to demonstrate it clearing away.
“Damage control?”
Wally took hold of Dick’s shoulder. “Tell her you want to be in an open relationship. If she’s up for it, then no harm, no foul.”
Dick looked up at him. “You think she would?”
“She arranged a threesome for you. I can’t even convince Linda to give me anal. The odds are on your side.”
Dick bounced up onto the heels of his feet. A plan, a way to execute it, something to do instead of being miserable! “Wally, you’re a genius!”
“If I were really a genius, I could convince Linda to do anal,” Wally said as Dick snatched up his mask from the counter. “Come on, take the guest bedroom. We’ll have you back to Barbara by tomorrow, good as new. And in the morning, we’ll all get pancakes!”
***
And while Dick, at long last, was claimed by a deep and dreamless sleep, Barbara was furtively molded against her pillows. No matter how tired she got, insomnia tracked her down. The week between Christmas and the coming New Year had passed in a haze of not-sleep and not-awake. Kory tended to her like a midwife, fluttering around the house like a butterfly, talking with Donna for long hours on the telephone. Angry and bitter over Dick’s unexplained absence, Barbara threw herself into her work. When work threw her back, she trained. Kory helped her practice with escrima sticks, although the Tamaranian always won. Barbara couldn’t help holding back when she thought of the life growing inside Kory.
When she didn’t stay over at Donna’s place, Kory slept next to Barbara. Barbara had to admit that Kory was probably more of a comfort to her than the other way around. The alien had a knack for seeking Barbara out when she was lonely, cooking so that the pleasant aroma wafted into the computer room just as Barbara’s stomach rumbled, and even held Barbara’s hand during her medical dramas.
The song came from deep in Kory’s chest, like the purring of a cat – only it ebbed and flowed with rhythm. It caught and Barbara hummed along. It took until a break in the song for Kory to notice the accompaniment. She stopped singing and turned to look at Barbara.
“I’m sorry. I did not mean to wake you.”
Barbara picked up her glasses from the nightstand and put them on. Kory’s face was softened even more by the shadows, her silhouette so different from the familiar sight of Dick coming home to roost. “That’s alright, I couldn’t sleep anyway. That was beautiful, what was that?”
Kory struggled up so that the pillows were pressed against the small of her back, then pulled the covers the rest of the way down until her stomach was obvious. She wore a thin chemise that came down to just over her panties. Where it clung to her skin, the nightie was virtually transparent.
“A prayer for a healthy birth and a healthy babe. The next is a tale from my world’s history, to settle her for the night.”
“She’s awake?” Barbara asked, green eyes suddenly as wide as saucers.
Kory rolled onto her side, facing Barbara. “She has been for days now. Here, feel her kicks.” Before Barbara could protest, Kory had grabbed hold of her hand and pressed it against the pregnancy. After a moment, Barbara felt an… impact. Just the tiniest thing, like a finger tapping on someone’s shoulder after having failed to attract their attention with the first tap. “As powerful as her father, no?”
Barbara smiled. She couldn’t help it. She didn’t want to help it. “Kory, you’ve got a soccer player in there.”
“It’s not so comfortable on this side.” Kory rolled onto her back, looking up at the ceiling.
“I could sing her a lullaby.”
“Would you?” Kory said coolly, and Barbara realized belatedly that Kory had been picking up on the subtle bitterness Barbara had been sending her way for so long. “Tell me truly, Barbara, do you consider this child to be ours or that of myself and Dick?”
“He’s the father.” Barbara massaged her temples, and tried her best not to sound harsh. “And you’re the one who’s pregnant.”
“A baby is a creation of love. And some of that love was yours,” Kory said reproachfully.
They laid there in silence while Barbara took off her glasses and put them down again. Then Kory slowly moved over Barbara, not heeding Barbara’s utterances until she was practically in the other woman’s lap. The shell of Kory’s ear met Barbara’s shoulder and they laid there, entwined, until Barbara’s hand reluctantly came up and rested on Kory’s stomach.
“I’d like to hear your lullaby,” Kory said.
Barbara didn’t think of being a child much. Never, really. She remembered her mother. She remembered her father. But she didn’t think of them. But tonight, she thought of them as she started out haltingly. “Hush-a-bye, Don't you cry, Go to sleep my little ba-by.”
Encouragingly, Kory’s hand stroked that wrist of the hand on her pregnancy. The baby kicked again, but not as hard as before.
“When you wake, you shall have, all the pretty little horses. Dapples and Greys, Pintos and Bays, Coach and six little horses.”
Barbara had never wanted to be a mother. She had never fantasized about taking Dick’s last name for her own, never fawned over a baby on the street. But as a child, before the car accident and the funeral and going to live with James Gordon, she had dressed up her pet cat in a bib and a stocking cap and tried to get it to drink milk from a bottle with an elastic nipple. When her dad caught her, he’d yelled at her not to bother the cat like that.
“Hush-a-bye, Don't you cry, Go to sleep my little baby, When you wake, you shall have, and all the pretty little horses.”
Kory had dreamed, of course, of being a mother. It was part of her duty as a princess to preserve the royal line. Most of her dreams had centered around the father of her child… if he would be handsome or clever or funny or stoic… which of the thousand desirable qualities she could think of in a man he would have, and which would be passed down to their child. But she had also thought of her child.
It would be a lovely child, of course, fighting and affectionate and eager to learn all of Tamaran that Kory had to teach her. And when Kory’s days grew long, and her hour neared, her babe would be full-grown. He or she would bring a school of grandchildren to gather around her bed and listen to her as she spun her life into song. And the child would be as a kid again, and Kory would be as a young lady again, and surrounded by those she loved, Kory would go to either join her husband or wait for him, in the garden that needed no tending.
“Way down yonder, in the meadow, poor little baby cries mama, birds and butterflies, flutter 'round his eyes, poor little baby cries mama.”
Dick had never thought about being a father. His only reaction to Roy going in that direction was a sort of shock and maybe a little pity… conjoined with happiness for his friend when things turned out alright and even some bitterness that Roy now ‘belonged’ to another life far more than he did to the Titans. He’d never even considered what he would do if it had been him.
Kory had brought the subject up when they’d been dating, and was wise enough to tiptoe around it with him, but deep down, the only real fatherly experience Dick had was with Jason… muted as that was, and disastrous as it turned out. He was more than happy to let Bruce be a mentor to Tim, with himself staying in the background as a supporter and friend and eventually something like a brother. An older brother, but that was the extent of his responsibility.
So when he saw them there, Barbara and Kory, Barbara’s voice lifted in song for the first time in he couldn’t even remember how long, his sentiment was something along the lines of this could actually work. It had to work. If he could stay… pious for Barbara, then that went double for the baby. He wouldn’t allow so many lives to be shattered because of his own damnable weakness. He just wouldn’t.
“Hush-a-bye, don't you cry, go to sleep my little ba-by; when you wake, you shall have, all the pretty little horses.”
Barbara finished and Dick stepped out of the shadows. Kory was grinning down at her baby, her attention off Dick. Why would she be surprised at his entrance when he was a part of their lives?
But Barbara was looking at him and Dick almost met her gaze without shying away in guilt. She didn’t notice.
“We’re going to have a baby,” she told him.
Kory beamed as she realized she was part of we.
***
Dick didn’t mind business suits, or ties for that matter. He did look good GQing it and after neoprene and Kevlar, a three-piece suit was a cinch. Besides, him dressing up meant Babs dressed up. And considering how good she looked usually, a dress and some hair salon treatment and jewelry were like icing on a very rich cake. The way the green dress accented her eyes and lit up her curves sent a bitter flash of guilt through him. How could he want anyone else?
“Something wrong?” she asked him.
“No. Everything’s perfect. You’re perfect.”
“Stop,” she said, plainly not meaning it.
He knelt down to kiss her, at first soft, then he was stricken with the terrible thought that this might be their last kiss. He pulled her against him as if he could drink all of her down in one gulp.
He would not reach the New Year without telling her.
Dick set Barbara back down in her wheelchair. Goggle-eyed, Barbara looked at him and Dick felt as abashed as a little boy.
“Hoo-ah, man wonder, what brought that on?”
“Just being married to the most wonderful woman in the world.”
She tugged on his tie playfully. “Keep it up, hubby, and I guarantee we’ll ring in the New Year like you’ll never forget.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” Dick said with a levity he didn’t feel.
Armored against the winter chill by his coat and fedora, he brought the car around for Barbara. She kissed him on the cheek after she got in, her flesh slightly chilled. He shifted the Mercedes into drive, switched on the headlights, and drove into the night.
A fifteen minute drive brought them to the headquarters of the GCPD. They should have been going to Gordon’s place, but the station house was tied-up with end-of-year crime, and most of the guests Commissioner Gordon was going to invite worked there anyway. Dick did the pack mule thing, carrying in a low-rent feast while Babs directed traffic. New Year’s dinner was mainly donuts and fresh-brewed coffee, but at least they got the break room TV receiving well enough to watch the ball drop through a blizzard of static.
There was the general rowdiness. Renee excused herself as soon as decorum permitted to phone Daria, Harvey made passes at every female in the room (one look from Barbara sent him packing), and Maggie helped Gordon in keeping the whole thing from turning into a barroom brawl.
An APB came over the wire at the same time the feds sent a fax, leaving Dick and Babs alone to share champaign in paper cups. Barbara laid against Dick’s chest on an ancient wooden bench scarred with cigarette burns. His fingers toyed with the Hammersmith Diamond hanging from her neck, turning it over to see all the different ways the light could hit it.
Barbara’s fingers covered his, rubbing his wedding band under the pad of her pointer finger. “Our first New Year’s as a married couple. My first as Mrs. Grayson.”
“You’re not counting the other one?”
“No.” Barbara frowned bitterly. “Goddamn time-travel…”
“So, is this one everything you hoped it would be?” Dick asked seriously.
“And more… orgies, pregnancies, Katarina…”
Dick bit his lip. Dear God, what had he put her through? Releasing her necklace, he put his hand flat against her collarbone, just under the hollow of her throat. He moved his hand up to cup her face, his thumb tracing over her full lips.
“Things will settle down.”
“I hope not.” She reached up to feel the faint stubble of his cheek. “God, you’re beautiful.”
“I think we should see other people,” Dick blurted out.
Barbara started so hard she would’ve fallen off the couch if Dick hadn’t caught her. She struggled around until she was straddling him, hands balled up into angry fists.
“Sorry, tongue-tied. I mean we should try an open marriage.”
Still breathing heavily, she looked down at him. Her fists weakened into open palms. “Are you bored of me?” she asked, hurt.
“No, no, no, I could never… variety is the spice of life and you love spice, right? The Spice Girls are on your iPod all the time…”
“This is about Kory, isn’t it?” Her voice was dead.
“No! No! There are lots of other women I’d like to have sex with! And there must be someone you’d like to knock boots… to sleep with.”
“Dick, I love you.” She put her hands on his chest, lovingly, pleadingly. “Why would I want to have sex with anyone else when I can have that?”
Dick looked up at her and didn’t know what else to say. “Sometimes you can love more than one person.”
“And sometimes you get bored of a lover who can’t wrap her legs around your waist,” Barbara said bitterly, grabbing her wheelchair and pulling it closer to her.
“Don’t say that. Please. Never say that.”
She was sitting back down in her wheelchair, adjusting her clothes minutely. “Dick, I know you have needs, and I’m sorry I can’t fulfill all of them. But things just don’t always work out the way you want them to. It’s life.”
“This should be a happy day. I’m sorry I brought it up.”
He reached for her. She rolled back, then swiveled her chair around to face the TV.
Through static, and in silence, they watched the ball drop.
Month 6
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Dick/Babs, Dick/Kory, Wally West,
Word Count: 4,271
Series: The Other Wife
Summary: The hardest part of making up for a crime is confessing it.
Month 5
Month 5 – December – Unfaithful
Dick had tried hard to erase Kory from his body, wash her off like she was a stain (of lipstick, of her saliva on his thigh and pelvis and between). After sleep-walking through Barbara’s enjoyment of the gift, a brief visit to James Gordon, and a lovemaking with Barbara so lackluster that he couldn’t even get it up, he threw himself into the shower like it could save his life. But two cold showers just made it worse. Thankfully, Barbara was fast asleep when he came back to bed, so he didn’t have to face her.
Fuck-up. This is what you wanted. Stop it.
He lay in bed, unable to sleep, just feeling the phantom sensations of Kory still running through him. The worst part wasn’t the sex. He and Barbara had had better, longer, and afterglows not tinged with guilt and self-loathing. It was the freedom. While Kory was blowing him, all the niggling doubts and insecurities were driven out of his mind, replaced with pure serenity. It was like he was leading the Titans again. Even then, Kory had lifted the crushing responsibility of leading others into battle. Since then, the pressure had piled on. Live up to Barbara, live up to Bruce, don’t disappoint anyone. And with each new person he let into his life, he’d felt himself twist a few more degrees off axis.
With Kory, he felt like himself again. And never more so, never more right than when she’d kissed him, although what had come after was a close second. Even with the actual deed done, even half-asleep with Barbara in his arms, he felt unfaithful because he couldn’t stop thinking of how good it had felt with Kory. Spiritually, emotionally… he wanted what Donna had. He wanted that freedom again. And he couldn’t have it, but he would never stop wanting it. Never.
He didn’t remember falling asleep, but when he did he dreamed of Kory moving over him. Her breasts were as full as they had been when his hands were first fitted to them, but they swelled and spouted blood instead of milk and he drowned while Barbara sat in her hatred, without him to save her, and Bruce was so disappointed in him and Tim thought he was such an idiot and Kory was… the only bright spot in the nightmare, the one who held him and cooed and kissed him softly despite her fangs.
Dick woke up in a cold sweat, cured it with another cold shower. He found some of those damned unhealthy Hot Pockets and decided to spoil Barbara. She deserved it, for putting up with him. He bought them to her, steaming hot, and she accepted them.
“I love you,” he said, hoping she could reach in like a surgeon and scalpel out the truth of it and forgive him anyway. Dear God, don’t make him have to say it. He was sorry.
“Mmm-hmm,” Barbara said as she chowed, lost in bits and bytes. He bent down to kiss her forehead anyway.
Seeing her shamed him so deep that for a solid week after that Dick fought crime twenty-four seven. He jetted from night to night, evading the sun through every time zone, dropping in on any hero he could think of. Guy stuff, his note to Barbara said. She read it on the first day of his self-imposed exile, sure there were things going on that he wasn’t telling her.
Well, that was fine. She was his wife and he would tell her when he was ready. She could wait. She could use all the information breaking power at her fingertips for things other than finding out what her husband was up to. She could.
Kory flounced in, pirouetting through the air in hops and skips that were aided by her flight ability. She had a flower with a thick head in one hand, and was using it almost like a bandleader with a baton. “I am in love!”
Barbara choked on her Corn Flakes. For a moment, she thought of Kory running off to be with Dick in wherever… them dancing the night away in Paris while Barbara was caged, the Clocktower her own personal Tower of London.
It was less than reassuring that her first thought was Kory would never do that to anyone.
“Anyone I know?” Barbara asked tensely.
Kory slotted the flower into the empty vase on Barbara’s table.
“Donna Troy! Oh, does she not have a lovely name even?”
“Beautiful name,” Barbara said in relief, watching as Kory filled the vase with water.
***
Keystone City wasn’t like Gotham. That was plain from the way Dick and Wally had turned out, but once you got there it became stunningly obvious. Even at night, with the open architecture wreathed in shadow and the friendly inhabitants asleep in bed, you could tell the difference. Keystone breathed differently. Nightwing acclimated himself to the rhythm, strange and new. It reminded him of his first night in Bludhaven, of a plunge into icy water. Pickings were light – two muggers and a burglar – so he gave up on subterfuge and knocked on Wally’s door.
The house was just this side of ordinary, not that Dick had much familiarity with that. It probably could’ve passed for normal if not for the winding road that led to it, as isolated as any castle for fear of collateral damage during a supervillain attack. Dick could also detect that the construction materials were advanced stuff, the kind of thing you could drop a bomb on and still have standing. He felt the familiar permutation of sensors scanning him for weapons or any other threat he posed, but they shut off when they recognized him as a friend.
On the second knock, Wally answered. He was naked from the waist up, except for a blue robe he’d belted over his pajama bottoms.
“Nightwing. Wow, you look like shit. When’s the last time you slept?”
“It’s not important.”
Wally let loose a knowing grunt. “Come inside, my couch is always open.”
Nightwing followed him in, passing the JLA transporter under the stairs. In a flash, Wally had him served with some late-night snacking material. Most of it seemed to be leftovers from Thanksgiving, still clinging to life.
“I need to talk to you,” Dick said, taking off his mask.
Wally registered the domino mask dropping on the counter, saw how Dick wasn’t even picking at his food. With a long-suffering sigh, he took a drink of water.
“You do? Oh, this isn’t going to be one of those fun talks with lots of pop culture references, is it?”
“I cheated on Barbara.”
Wally held up a hand, gesturing for him to stop right there. “…wow… okay, first off… I don’t even have a first off.”
Dick’s head was in his hands. He looked like a caged animal, and even worse without his mask. There was a bruise distorting the orbit of one eye, and heavy bags under the other. In the stark light of the kitchen, his stubble stood out in sharp relief. Wally took another drink and wished he had something stronger on hand.
“I’m a cheater, I’m a cheater, I’m a cheater, I’m a horrible person,” Dick was saying.
“You’re not a horrible person… and you’re not a cheater either.”
That got Dick’s attention. Eyes brightening a little from their dead-fish dullness earlier, he looked up at Wally through his fingers.
“I’m not?”
“No! You love Barbara! You’d never cheat on her.” Wally leaned onto the counter across from Dick, like he was conveying a great secret. “I’ll tell you what happened. Some rogue found out who you and Barbara are, then they got smart and decided to throw you off your game. So they sent some skank to pheromone you until you fell into her arms.”
Dick moaned in dismay and slumped back in his chair. “Not likely.”
“Why not?”
“It was Kory.”
Wally let out an agitated breath. “You could’ve mentioned that sooner.”
“It started off innocently enough… Kory invited me to watch her have sex with Donna…”
Wally perked up like a meerkat. “That’s innocent? To who, Colin Ferrell?”
Dick sighed. “Next thing I knew she had her lips around my cock.”
“Any chance she was a shapeshifter?”
“No. There’s this thing she does with her tongue…”
“Married man you’re talking to, Dick.”
“That’s why I came to you.” Dick stood up miserably, like a tired dog being jerked to its feet by a leash, and crossed his arms. “What should I do?”
“Tell Barbara.”
Dick spun on his heel and stampeded over to the wall, where he rested both hands. “I was afraid you were going to say that.” He turned around and drifted back into the wall until it supported his weight. “I can’t tell Barbara.”
Wally hopped up onto the counter. Very neatly, very calmly, he folded his hands in his lap. “Then she’s going to find out from someone else and it’ll be that much worse.”
Dick’s head was thrown backwards into the wall. “Does she have to know?”
“She’s going to know.” From his perch on the counter, Wally watched as Dick wandered out into the middle of the room, hugging himself. “Even if you get lucky and she doesn’t, that just means you’ll have this guilt hanging over your head for the rest of your life.”
Dick hugged himself tighter as he turned to look at Wally. “I’m comfortable with guilt. And Babs is so happy… I can’t spoil that.”
“It already is spoiled. You think she won’t notice you acting different?”
“I can’t risk…” Dick trailed off. He was being selfish, once more thinking of himself and how much it would hurt to be excised from the imperfect perfection he had with Barbara.
“You think Kory will like being the other woman?”
Overcome, Dick sunk his face into one hand. “Oh God… Kory…”
He couldn’t recall ever having let down so many people. There was Barbara, obviously, who’d believed him when he promised with a ring to be a good husband. But there were also his parents, and Bruce and Alfred, who’d raised him to be a better man than this. And Tim, who looked to him as a moral compass even more than he looked up to Bruce. Kory, who as a Tamaranian couldn’t be expected to control herself, but had relied on him to lead her. Even Donna, poor Donna, who’d had something sweet and pure with Kory before he’d tainted it.
Wally snapped his fingers. “You a’ight? You were spacing out on me.”
Gravity dragged Dick down into an armchair, where he nearly folded in on himself. “Sorry.”
“Listen, this isn’t the end of the world.” Wally shimmied off the counter and sped over to Dick so he was sitting on the armrest of the plush leather chair. “Trust me, I’ve seen the end of the world. It ends with either a bang or a whimper, not a blowjob. With a little damage control, this can all blow over.” He chopped his arms in either direction to demonstrate it clearing away.
“Damage control?”
Wally took hold of Dick’s shoulder. “Tell her you want to be in an open relationship. If she’s up for it, then no harm, no foul.”
Dick looked up at him. “You think she would?”
“She arranged a threesome for you. I can’t even convince Linda to give me anal. The odds are on your side.”
Dick bounced up onto the heels of his feet. A plan, a way to execute it, something to do instead of being miserable! “Wally, you’re a genius!”
“If I were really a genius, I could convince Linda to do anal,” Wally said as Dick snatched up his mask from the counter. “Come on, take the guest bedroom. We’ll have you back to Barbara by tomorrow, good as new. And in the morning, we’ll all get pancakes!”
***
And while Dick, at long last, was claimed by a deep and dreamless sleep, Barbara was furtively molded against her pillows. No matter how tired she got, insomnia tracked her down. The week between Christmas and the coming New Year had passed in a haze of not-sleep and not-awake. Kory tended to her like a midwife, fluttering around the house like a butterfly, talking with Donna for long hours on the telephone. Angry and bitter over Dick’s unexplained absence, Barbara threw herself into her work. When work threw her back, she trained. Kory helped her practice with escrima sticks, although the Tamaranian always won. Barbara couldn’t help holding back when she thought of the life growing inside Kory.
When she didn’t stay over at Donna’s place, Kory slept next to Barbara. Barbara had to admit that Kory was probably more of a comfort to her than the other way around. The alien had a knack for seeking Barbara out when she was lonely, cooking so that the pleasant aroma wafted into the computer room just as Barbara’s stomach rumbled, and even held Barbara’s hand during her medical dramas.
The song came from deep in Kory’s chest, like the purring of a cat – only it ebbed and flowed with rhythm. It caught and Barbara hummed along. It took until a break in the song for Kory to notice the accompaniment. She stopped singing and turned to look at Barbara.
“I’m sorry. I did not mean to wake you.”
Barbara picked up her glasses from the nightstand and put them on. Kory’s face was softened even more by the shadows, her silhouette so different from the familiar sight of Dick coming home to roost. “That’s alright, I couldn’t sleep anyway. That was beautiful, what was that?”
Kory struggled up so that the pillows were pressed against the small of her back, then pulled the covers the rest of the way down until her stomach was obvious. She wore a thin chemise that came down to just over her panties. Where it clung to her skin, the nightie was virtually transparent.
“A prayer for a healthy birth and a healthy babe. The next is a tale from my world’s history, to settle her for the night.”
“She’s awake?” Barbara asked, green eyes suddenly as wide as saucers.
Kory rolled onto her side, facing Barbara. “She has been for days now. Here, feel her kicks.” Before Barbara could protest, Kory had grabbed hold of her hand and pressed it against the pregnancy. After a moment, Barbara felt an… impact. Just the tiniest thing, like a finger tapping on someone’s shoulder after having failed to attract their attention with the first tap. “As powerful as her father, no?”
Barbara smiled. She couldn’t help it. She didn’t want to help it. “Kory, you’ve got a soccer player in there.”
“It’s not so comfortable on this side.” Kory rolled onto her back, looking up at the ceiling.
“I could sing her a lullaby.”
“Would you?” Kory said coolly, and Barbara realized belatedly that Kory had been picking up on the subtle bitterness Barbara had been sending her way for so long. “Tell me truly, Barbara, do you consider this child to be ours or that of myself and Dick?”
“He’s the father.” Barbara massaged her temples, and tried her best not to sound harsh. “And you’re the one who’s pregnant.”
“A baby is a creation of love. And some of that love was yours,” Kory said reproachfully.
They laid there in silence while Barbara took off her glasses and put them down again. Then Kory slowly moved over Barbara, not heeding Barbara’s utterances until she was practically in the other woman’s lap. The shell of Kory’s ear met Barbara’s shoulder and they laid there, entwined, until Barbara’s hand reluctantly came up and rested on Kory’s stomach.
“I’d like to hear your lullaby,” Kory said.
Barbara didn’t think of being a child much. Never, really. She remembered her mother. She remembered her father. But she didn’t think of them. But tonight, she thought of them as she started out haltingly. “Hush-a-bye, Don't you cry, Go to sleep my little ba-by.”
Encouragingly, Kory’s hand stroked that wrist of the hand on her pregnancy. The baby kicked again, but not as hard as before.
“When you wake, you shall have, all the pretty little horses. Dapples and Greys, Pintos and Bays, Coach and six little horses.”
Barbara had never wanted to be a mother. She had never fantasized about taking Dick’s last name for her own, never fawned over a baby on the street. But as a child, before the car accident and the funeral and going to live with James Gordon, she had dressed up her pet cat in a bib and a stocking cap and tried to get it to drink milk from a bottle with an elastic nipple. When her dad caught her, he’d yelled at her not to bother the cat like that.
“Hush-a-bye, Don't you cry, Go to sleep my little baby, When you wake, you shall have, and all the pretty little horses.”
Kory had dreamed, of course, of being a mother. It was part of her duty as a princess to preserve the royal line. Most of her dreams had centered around the father of her child… if he would be handsome or clever or funny or stoic… which of the thousand desirable qualities she could think of in a man he would have, and which would be passed down to their child. But she had also thought of her child.
It would be a lovely child, of course, fighting and affectionate and eager to learn all of Tamaran that Kory had to teach her. And when Kory’s days grew long, and her hour neared, her babe would be full-grown. He or she would bring a school of grandchildren to gather around her bed and listen to her as she spun her life into song. And the child would be as a kid again, and Kory would be as a young lady again, and surrounded by those she loved, Kory would go to either join her husband or wait for him, in the garden that needed no tending.
“Way down yonder, in the meadow, poor little baby cries mama, birds and butterflies, flutter 'round his eyes, poor little baby cries mama.”
Dick had never thought about being a father. His only reaction to Roy going in that direction was a sort of shock and maybe a little pity… conjoined with happiness for his friend when things turned out alright and even some bitterness that Roy now ‘belonged’ to another life far more than he did to the Titans. He’d never even considered what he would do if it had been him.
Kory had brought the subject up when they’d been dating, and was wise enough to tiptoe around it with him, but deep down, the only real fatherly experience Dick had was with Jason… muted as that was, and disastrous as it turned out. He was more than happy to let Bruce be a mentor to Tim, with himself staying in the background as a supporter and friend and eventually something like a brother. An older brother, but that was the extent of his responsibility.
So when he saw them there, Barbara and Kory, Barbara’s voice lifted in song for the first time in he couldn’t even remember how long, his sentiment was something along the lines of this could actually work. It had to work. If he could stay… pious for Barbara, then that went double for the baby. He wouldn’t allow so many lives to be shattered because of his own damnable weakness. He just wouldn’t.
“Hush-a-bye, don't you cry, go to sleep my little ba-by; when you wake, you shall have, all the pretty little horses.”
Barbara finished and Dick stepped out of the shadows. Kory was grinning down at her baby, her attention off Dick. Why would she be surprised at his entrance when he was a part of their lives?
But Barbara was looking at him and Dick almost met her gaze without shying away in guilt. She didn’t notice.
“We’re going to have a baby,” she told him.
Kory beamed as she realized she was part of we.
***
Dick didn’t mind business suits, or ties for that matter. He did look good GQing it and after neoprene and Kevlar, a three-piece suit was a cinch. Besides, him dressing up meant Babs dressed up. And considering how good she looked usually, a dress and some hair salon treatment and jewelry were like icing on a very rich cake. The way the green dress accented her eyes and lit up her curves sent a bitter flash of guilt through him. How could he want anyone else?
“Something wrong?” she asked him.
“No. Everything’s perfect. You’re perfect.”
“Stop,” she said, plainly not meaning it.
He knelt down to kiss her, at first soft, then he was stricken with the terrible thought that this might be their last kiss. He pulled her against him as if he could drink all of her down in one gulp.
He would not reach the New Year without telling her.
Dick set Barbara back down in her wheelchair. Goggle-eyed, Barbara looked at him and Dick felt as abashed as a little boy.
“Hoo-ah, man wonder, what brought that on?”
“Just being married to the most wonderful woman in the world.”
She tugged on his tie playfully. “Keep it up, hubby, and I guarantee we’ll ring in the New Year like you’ll never forget.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” Dick said with a levity he didn’t feel.
Armored against the winter chill by his coat and fedora, he brought the car around for Barbara. She kissed him on the cheek after she got in, her flesh slightly chilled. He shifted the Mercedes into drive, switched on the headlights, and drove into the night.
A fifteen minute drive brought them to the headquarters of the GCPD. They should have been going to Gordon’s place, but the station house was tied-up with end-of-year crime, and most of the guests Commissioner Gordon was going to invite worked there anyway. Dick did the pack mule thing, carrying in a low-rent feast while Babs directed traffic. New Year’s dinner was mainly donuts and fresh-brewed coffee, but at least they got the break room TV receiving well enough to watch the ball drop through a blizzard of static.
There was the general rowdiness. Renee excused herself as soon as decorum permitted to phone Daria, Harvey made passes at every female in the room (one look from Barbara sent him packing), and Maggie helped Gordon in keeping the whole thing from turning into a barroom brawl.
An APB came over the wire at the same time the feds sent a fax, leaving Dick and Babs alone to share champaign in paper cups. Barbara laid against Dick’s chest on an ancient wooden bench scarred with cigarette burns. His fingers toyed with the Hammersmith Diamond hanging from her neck, turning it over to see all the different ways the light could hit it.
Barbara’s fingers covered his, rubbing his wedding band under the pad of her pointer finger. “Our first New Year’s as a married couple. My first as Mrs. Grayson.”
“You’re not counting the other one?”
“No.” Barbara frowned bitterly. “Goddamn time-travel…”
“So, is this one everything you hoped it would be?” Dick asked seriously.
“And more… orgies, pregnancies, Katarina…”
Dick bit his lip. Dear God, what had he put her through? Releasing her necklace, he put his hand flat against her collarbone, just under the hollow of her throat. He moved his hand up to cup her face, his thumb tracing over her full lips.
“Things will settle down.”
“I hope not.” She reached up to feel the faint stubble of his cheek. “God, you’re beautiful.”
“I think we should see other people,” Dick blurted out.
Barbara started so hard she would’ve fallen off the couch if Dick hadn’t caught her. She struggled around until she was straddling him, hands balled up into angry fists.
“Sorry, tongue-tied. I mean we should try an open marriage.”
Still breathing heavily, she looked down at him. Her fists weakened into open palms. “Are you bored of me?” she asked, hurt.
“No, no, no, I could never… variety is the spice of life and you love spice, right? The Spice Girls are on your iPod all the time…”
“This is about Kory, isn’t it?” Her voice was dead.
“No! No! There are lots of other women I’d like to have sex with! And there must be someone you’d like to knock boots… to sleep with.”
“Dick, I love you.” She put her hands on his chest, lovingly, pleadingly. “Why would I want to have sex with anyone else when I can have that?”
Dick looked up at her and didn’t know what else to say. “Sometimes you can love more than one person.”
“And sometimes you get bored of a lover who can’t wrap her legs around your waist,” Barbara said bitterly, grabbing her wheelchair and pulling it closer to her.
“Don’t say that. Please. Never say that.”
She was sitting back down in her wheelchair, adjusting her clothes minutely. “Dick, I know you have needs, and I’m sorry I can’t fulfill all of them. But things just don’t always work out the way you want them to. It’s life.”
“This should be a happy day. I’m sorry I brought it up.”
He reached for her. She rolled back, then swiveled her chair around to face the TV.
Through static, and in silence, they watched the ball drop.
Month 6
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Date: 2008-04-08 01:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-09 12:08 am (UTC)(And Dick yells at Kory, for the Dick/Kory anti-shippers.)