The Heroic Trio

[seriousfic]

Hello, flisties. Let us take a moment to discuss The Heroic Trio, a chop-socky movie that is pretty much what you would get if you asked Hong Kong to localize Birds of Prey (if you asked Japan, there would be giant robots. In fishnets). It's a movie whose moral message is pretty much "if you can't do it with kung-fu, IT'S NOT WORTH DOING." (Wanna catch some falling kittens? DO THAT SHIT WITH SOME TWIRLS, SON.)



There is Tung, aka the vigilante Shadow Fox, who is kinda like Barbara Gordon if she were played by Anita Mui. She's married to a police inspector (Dick Grayson) who says things like "I'm not worried, I'm married to a female superhero." Theirs is a healthy relationship.


Gurl, you so fierce.



Then there's Chat/Mercy, played by Maggie Cheung. She's a mercenary who... well, imagine if after a night of Zinda-level debauchery, Helena had to get dressed really fast and threw on Dinah's clothes.



She represents a conundrum, since she seems cool... dashing girl rogue who gets all the best lines (in response to being called a killer: "Give me a break. I only kill those who deserve to die. Well, mostly.") and is kinda aware she's in a cheesy HK action movie... but she also kidnaps a baby for ransom, resulting in the baby DYING, which is maybe a little dark? It kinda kickstarts a redemption arc for her, but still, dead baby. So I'm tore between enjoying her character and really wishing someone would do this.



Finally, there's Ching/Number Three, played by ~Michelle Yeoh~. She was raised to do the bidding of a demon, so she's not exactly a model of mental health. In her civilian life, she's pretending to be in love with a scientist in order to get close to the cloaking device he's inventing, which she uses to steal babies who might be the Chosen One, but she's fallen in love with the scientist for real, but then she's ordered to kill him. It's a whole big deal.



OT: I love Number 3's outfit. Look at that fucking thing. It's better than anything Elektra Natchios wore in either of her movies, and I'm sure this had about a 13th the clothes budget. It has the same feel of "I can kill you in my lingerie," while looking good and being something people would actually wear. Check out those EPIC BOOTS. And goddamn, what a gorgeous woman. Can she play Wonder Woman? I mean, c'mon, it's not like clay has an ethnicity...

On-topic: So all three of them are tied up in a string of baby-nappings, Shadow Fox because she's trying to stop them for great justice, Mercy because she's being paid to find one of the babies... even though that specific baby wasn't kidnapped... and then she kidnaps a baby herself... look, let's just move on. And Number 3 is involved because she's kidnapping the babies.

In their civilian identities, Ching and Tung help stop a despondent father from killing everyone else's babies, to which even Batman would say "Dude, you're not dealing with your grief very well." This causes them to bond, mostly during a scene with the point that Michelle Yeoh's fingers are very long.


P.S. Pimp hat, bitch.

Then Mercy steals a baby and Shadow Fox goes after her, leading to this scene...


Don't move or the boobie gets it.

It doesn't end well for the baby. This starts both Mercy and Number Three (who tries to double-kidnap the baby) on their paths to redemption, although both of them would rather die noble deaths than help Shadow Fox actually stop the demon, which is a very Babs problem to have. "Listen, idiots, how about you try to make amends for your actions instead of just getting someone else to kill you? Maybe?"


"I'm on a horse."

Also, all the ladies used to know each other as kids when they were trained in kung-fu by one or more secret organizations. Which leads to fabulously slashy scenes like this.


I think this means they got married on New Caprica. Theme music below.

Finally, with the baddie and his stupid hat defeated, Mercy brings everyone shawls so they can look good for the press. I know she's a baby-killer, and not in the cool Tami Taylor way, but moments like that really make me want to like her. The following images are more empowering than all two hours of Sex And The City 2.

"You know what I wanna do?"

"What?"

"Strut."


"Ladies, there's another emergency! A FASHION emergency!"

With the job done, our hero returns home to knit and watch TV with her husband. D'awww. And that's it until the sequel, which apparently involves a nuclear holocaust. Okay then.

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[telepresence.livejournal.com]

Whatever you do, do not watch the sequel. Trust me. It's depressing, violent (and not wacky kung fu movie fun violent), and there's no cool fashion.