seriousfic

This Sunday-Sunday-Sunday, I'm rewriting a bit of my manuscript. See, way way back in the initial plot outline, there was a scene where J. needed to distract K. and did so by bluffing that there was a law requiring her to dance with him. K., realizing the deception, got back at him in a wave of hits involving shotguns for his friends and her disguising herself to pick him up at a bar. This was back when K. had just arrived on Earth, showing up naked in the woods, then killing a deer to clothe herself. That might've been just a tad too fierce.

Then the distraction element fell out and it became K. picking J. up at a bar as an opening salvo against him. (If I keep this up, I will sound like Gossip Girl.) What I liked most was the central image of the female lead starting off as the typical oh-woe-is-me-I-have-no-boobs waif of urban fantasy, then dropping the mask and Hulking out into Sarah Connor.

But time passed and that too fell out of favor. K. just isn't a sexual enough character to pick someone up at a bar. It'd be like Azula giving a blowjob to get what she wants, or the third season of Gossip Girl. So now she just barges in and starts asking questions.

There may be ululating involved.

But that still isn't in-character enough. What's J. doing during all this? Well, he's cooking dinner, so he just looks her over and asks if they can't do this interrogation over hors d'oeuvres. From there, it basically turns into the scene from Heat as acted out by Cara Mason and Vala mal Doran, if one of them had a penis.

(I just know that as soon as I post this, someone is going to comment asking for a fic of Cara with a penis. No. Just no. She has an Agiel.)

Plus, it gives me a chance to spoof the traditional I-sex-you-up-with-the-sexy-because-I-am-the-sexy scenes from urban fantasy. You know, like how in every Hollows novel, Rachel has to mentally hump someone's leg. Only here, ~~Cara~~ K. is more "alright, I'm seduced, can we get on with it?" With lots of eye-rolling and Cara-face for all the "eroticism". Because seriously, I think the only way you could not die laughing during an Anita Blake sex scene would be producing more snark than an MST3K/House crossover.