Research: Blood of the Fold Chapter 14
Jul. 15th, 2010 05:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seriousficSo with Brogan gone, the Mord'Sith suggest castrating him and have a good chuckle over it. Dohohohoh, they have a good time there at the People's Palace. And, you know, why not? He's obviously evil. He's been abducting people right there, in that very city. Just talk to one of them, find out they've been tortured, and boom, you're done. Or just search his hide-out. You've got an army; delegate!
But Richard is all "give peace a chance," so nada. He also tells one of the generals to make sure the men don't loot the city, causing yet another person to call-out Richard. Man, it's painful knowing this won't lead anywhere.
"Don't you understand? This isn't about conquering lands and taking things from others; just ordering lands to surrender and demanding a tribute, totally different! this is about fighting oppression."
The general rested a boot on the gilded rung of a chair and hooked a thumb behind his wide belt.They use gold on the chairs? Seems uncomfortable. "I don't see much difference. From my experience, the Master Rahl always thinks he knows best, and always wants to rule the world. You are your father's son. War is war. Reasons make no difference to us; we fight because we are told to, same as those on the other side. Reasons mean little to a man swinging his sword, trying to keep his head."
Richard rebuttals that they have the strength of ten men (err, armies) because their hearts are pure. He goes on about how if they act honorably, then people will join them willingly instead of submitting to conquest… which, again, doesn't seem to square that well with ordering people to surrender to his New World Order.
If you're not with us, then you're with Sting!
The general says he hopes that they can live in peace once they're done with all the killing, but it's a fantasy book series, so don't start investing in a time-share, bro. And then suddenly things get awesome, because guess what bitches? It turns out
THIS IS A CARA CHAPTER.
Pictured: my heart.
Cara: You can make your plans to conquer the world tomorrow, after you have rested."
Richard shook his head. "Not yet. I have to write [Kahlan] a letter first."
Berdine leaned against the desk beside Cara and folded her arms. "A love letter to your bride?"
Richard pulled open a drawer. "Something like that."
Berdine put on a coy smile. "Maybe we can help. We will tell you the proper things to say to keep her heart pounding and forget you need a bath."
Raina joined her sisters of the Agiel against the desk, adding an impish laugh that sparkled in her dark eyes. "We will give you lessons in being a proper mate. You and your queen will be happy to have us around for advice."
"And you had better listen to us," Berdine cautioned, "or we will teach her how to make you dance to her tune."
MY GOD. That needs to be in the show. IDGAF about war wizards or Gratch or Nathan Rahl, I just want to see Cara offering to teach Richard how to get Kahlan off. Especially if Kahlan walks in.
Kahlan: Hey guys, what's going on in this thread?
Cara: I was just offering to teach the Lord Rahl how to please you.
Kahlan: *epic wtf face*
Cara: *epic crazy eyes*
Hell, just let the whole series be Cyrano de Bergerac with Cara as a Mord'Sith who hates feelings instead of a guy with a big nose. UPGRADE!
Of course, you must understand that in the books, the Mord'Sith are pretty interchangeable, so in the show they just condensed them into one character, so I'm counting Berdine and Raina as Cara as well. Mmm… multiple Caras…
"Why don't you get some sleep," he said absently as he searched for a pen and ink. "You were riding hard, too, trying to catch me, and couldn't have gotten much more sleep than I did."
Cara turned up her nose in mock indignation. "We will stand watch while you sleep. Women are stronger than men."
Yeah, Richard, Cara is used to riding hard. *snickers*
These three never let their guard down when anyone was around; he was the only one they trusted when they needed to practice their social graces. He thought they needed a lot of practice. Maybe that was why they wouldn't give up their Agiel; they had never been anything but Mord-Sith, and were afraid they wouldn't be able to do it.
Cara leaned over, looking in the empty drawer before he pushed it shut. She flicked her blond braid back over her shoulder. "She must care greatly for you, Lord Rahl, if she is willing to surrender her land to you. I don't know if I would do such a thing for a man, even if he was one such as you. He would have to be the one to surrender to me."
Or sign a pre-nup. Of course, Richard mentions that he hasn't actually told Kahlan about joining the NWO yet, which is why he's writing the letter, to make sure she's cool with it. This will end in fire. The Mord'Sith say as much and joke about protecting Richard from Kahlan, to which Richard freaks the fuck out about them hurting Kahlan. Yup, that'll help their social graces. Dick. Thankfully, Cara awesomes to the rescue.
Cara sat back on her hands. "Is the queen pretty?" Her mischievous smile returned. "What does she look like? She won't try to make us wear dresses once you're married, will she? We'll obey her, but Mord'Sith don't wear dresses."
That should be the entire conflict.
Kahlan: You're going to wear the bridesmaid dress and you're going to like it!
Cara: It's pink, you baby-craving harlot!
*Berdine and Raina run in and rip off chair legs. Dennee runs in and smashes a bottle. Zedd shows up with a lit Molotov Cocktail.*
Richard: SO I AM GOING TO GO OFF AND HAVE MY BACHELOR PARTY, HOPE YOU HAVE THIS ALL WORKED OUT WHEN I GET BACK!
*he runs off to watch the Tom Hanks vehicle Bachelor Party, since that's his idea of a good time*
But Richard is all "give peace a chance," so nada. He also tells one of the generals to make sure the men don't loot the city, causing yet another person to call-out Richard. Man, it's painful knowing this won't lead anywhere.
"Don't you understand? This isn't about conquering lands and taking things from others; just ordering lands to surrender and demanding a tribute, totally different! this is about fighting oppression."
The general rested a boot on the gilded rung of a chair and hooked a thumb behind his wide belt.They use gold on the chairs? Seems uncomfortable. "I don't see much difference. From my experience, the Master Rahl always thinks he knows best, and always wants to rule the world. You are your father's son. War is war. Reasons make no difference to us; we fight because we are told to, same as those on the other side. Reasons mean little to a man swinging his sword, trying to keep his head."
Richard rebuttals that they have the strength of ten men (err, armies) because their hearts are pure. He goes on about how if they act honorably, then people will join them willingly instead of submitting to conquest… which, again, doesn't seem to square that well with ordering people to surrender to his New World Order.
If you're not with us, then you're with Sting!
The general says he hopes that they can live in peace once they're done with all the killing, but it's a fantasy book series, so don't start investing in a time-share, bro. And then suddenly things get awesome, because guess what bitches? It turns out
THIS IS A CARA CHAPTER.
Pictured: my heart.
Cara: You can make your plans to conquer the world tomorrow, after you have rested."
Richard shook his head. "Not yet. I have to write [Kahlan] a letter first."
Berdine leaned against the desk beside Cara and folded her arms. "A love letter to your bride?"
Richard pulled open a drawer. "Something like that."
Berdine put on a coy smile. "Maybe we can help. We will tell you the proper things to say to keep her heart pounding and forget you need a bath."
Raina joined her sisters of the Agiel against the desk, adding an impish laugh that sparkled in her dark eyes. "We will give you lessons in being a proper mate. You and your queen will be happy to have us around for advice."
"And you had better listen to us," Berdine cautioned, "or we will teach her how to make you dance to her tune."
MY GOD. That needs to be in the show. IDGAF about war wizards or Gratch or Nathan Rahl, I just want to see Cara offering to teach Richard how to get Kahlan off. Especially if Kahlan walks in.
Kahlan: Hey guys, what's going on in this thread?
Cara: I was just offering to teach the Lord Rahl how to please you.
Kahlan: *epic wtf face*
Cara: *epic crazy eyes*
Hell, just let the whole series be Cyrano de Bergerac with Cara as a Mord'Sith who hates feelings instead of a guy with a big nose. UPGRADE!
Of course, you must understand that in the books, the Mord'Sith are pretty interchangeable, so in the show they just condensed them into one character, so I'm counting Berdine and Raina as Cara as well. Mmm… multiple Caras…
"Why don't you get some sleep," he said absently as he searched for a pen and ink. "You were riding hard, too, trying to catch me, and couldn't have gotten much more sleep than I did."
Cara turned up her nose in mock indignation. "We will stand watch while you sleep. Women are stronger than men."
Yeah, Richard, Cara is used to riding hard. *snickers*
These three never let their guard down when anyone was around; he was the only one they trusted when they needed to practice their social graces. He thought they needed a lot of practice. Maybe that was why they wouldn't give up their Agiel; they had never been anything but Mord-Sith, and were afraid they wouldn't be able to do it.
Cara leaned over, looking in the empty drawer before he pushed it shut. She flicked her blond braid back over her shoulder. "She must care greatly for you, Lord Rahl, if she is willing to surrender her land to you. I don't know if I would do such a thing for a man, even if he was one such as you. He would have to be the one to surrender to me."
Or sign a pre-nup. Of course, Richard mentions that he hasn't actually told Kahlan about joining the NWO yet, which is why he's writing the letter, to make sure she's cool with it. This will end in fire. The Mord'Sith say as much and joke about protecting Richard from Kahlan, to which Richard freaks the fuck out about them hurting Kahlan. Yup, that'll help their social graces. Dick. Thankfully, Cara awesomes to the rescue.
Cara sat back on her hands. "Is the queen pretty?" Her mischievous smile returned. "What does she look like? She won't try to make us wear dresses once you're married, will she? We'll obey her, but Mord'Sith don't wear dresses."
That should be the entire conflict.
Kahlan: You're going to wear the bridesmaid dress and you're going to like it!
Cara: It's pink, you baby-craving harlot!
*Berdine and Raina run in and rip off chair legs. Dennee runs in and smashes a bottle. Zedd shows up with a lit Molotov Cocktail.*
Richard: SO I AM GOING TO GO OFF AND HAVE MY BACHELOR PARTY, HOPE YOU HAVE THIS ALL WORKED OUT WHEN I GET BACK!
*he runs off to watch the Tom Hanks vehicle Bachelor Party, since that's his idea of a good time*
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no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 12:01 am (UTC)Actually, Berdine and Cara are pretty distinct. Berdine is the sweet geeky one who enjoys teasing Richard (also hugs and chipmunks, later on), and Cara is the all-serious-most-of-the-the-time one who is really into the torture and dry remarks. In the show, they just combined them into Cara, but you definitely get a different feel from the two in the books. Raina, though, is essentially a blank slate.
which is why he's writing the letter, to make sure she's cool with it. This will end in fire.
*laughs* *decides not to spoil you on exactly how accurate that prediction is*
ETA: I just want to see Cara offering to teach Richard how to get Kahlan off.
Oh hai there, threesome plotbunny with hints of group marriage. Do I need you right now? Of course not. Do you have your teeth fully dug in, and do you refuse to let go? Of course.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 01:32 am (UTC)I blame all the smiling and laughing. It's like some kind of natural defense, I can't tell where one ends and the other begins, only that somehow one animal has three heads and it's bigger than me, thus I can't hunt it.
Oh hai there, threesome plotbunny with hints of group marriage. Do I need you right now? Of course not. Do you have your teeth fully dug in, and do you refuse to let go? Of course.
I think we're in agreement.
Although Nicci and Denna would be all about getting up in on that. Cara would be so exasperated. "What's the appeal!? He's cool and all, but have you seen his facial hair? Creator, ladies, have some dignity!"
no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 01:43 am (UTC)Nah, Cara is totally straight-for-Richard, at least to some extent. Even the facial hair cannot hide the pretty. They have very good chemistry.
I'm curious as to what your plotbunny would entail (mine involves instructional-porn, both from Cara to Richard and Cara to Kahlan, for the record)
no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 01:47 am (UTC)And Richard would be all "wut" and Kahlan would go "Yeah, 30-year-old virgin, grew up not being allowed to touch people, I'm kinky as shit basically."no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 01:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 01:56 am (UTC)Cara is ridiculously poly and bi. I mean, even just limiting it to canon, she hits on (and/or jumps) Richard, Leo, Darken, Triana, and Dahlia. Without breaking her stride. Add to that the all-but-canon Kahlan and Denna, and...yeah. I'm all for Cara/Kahlan as the ultimate OTP, but multiship like mad because it's Cara we're talking about.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 01:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 02:02 am (UTC)As serious as the ep, and the scene, was in "Eternity" when Cara's lacing up Dahlia the morning-after and trying to seduce her into the Merry Band.....all I could think of was this little thought bubble above Cara's head going "We can kick out Zedd and have a true OT4, please, bb?"
no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 02:04 am (UTC)"You take Richard, I'll take Kahlan."
no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 02:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 02:12 am (UTC)to foursomes. I kind of imagine Cara talking to Kahlan about her ~feelings~ while Dahlia distracts Richard with talk of chipmunks.no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 02:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 02:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 02:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 02:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 02:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 02:41 am (UTC)Dahlia: It never fails. The minute someone gets morality, we all have to go through a bunch of red tape to do anything. This is exactly like the Star Wars EU.