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So Brogan and his sister, Magic McCrazyPants, are going to the party where they see the Mriswith Richard staked up earlier. I would've just gone with lawn gnomes myself. Blah blah, unreliable narrator. Finally Richard shows up, con entourage, and… well, it's a long speech, but I'll translate it into Patrick Swayzese.


Like this, only with geopolitics.

Basically, he's forming a benevolent dictatorship to go against the Imperial Order and if people don't like it, tough. Of course, Brogan gets a little war-boner over how awesome Richard is.

Tobias had seen eyes like this before. This was a man who would jump headlong over a cliff to come after you.

You know, I don't have a problem with Richard's character or intelligence (even if it is fun to riff on now and again), but those of you who do, feel free!

Richard also tells McCrazyPants that her crappy dress is the prettiest, which means he's either showing that social status doesn't mean squat to him or that he's fantastically condescending. Then he goes on to talk about how magic isn't evil, despite what the Imperial Order and the Blood of the Fold think, and naturally, someone protests that magic is totes evil. Totes, I say! Richard replies…

"A child, come anew into the world, is magic. Would you call that evil?"

And that puts us at Defcon 4 on the Cara Mason Incredulity Scale.


"The song Magic by the band Pilot… would you call that evil?"

More speechifying, and man, there is a time for the inspiring statements of intent and it is not every other page. It boils down to "killing babies? Not cool, Imperial Order." Naturally, someone calls him on his plan to conquer the world to save the world, saying that was pretty much Darken Rahl's MO. Richard, of course, replies that he doesn't want to rule the world, but it's the only way to attain peace. Which was… also Darken Rahl's MO. Anyway, this goes on for A WHILE. I had no idea you could use this many words to say "If you're not with me, you're against me." Also, I should note that one of the ways Richard sets himself apart from Darken Rahl is that he doesn't torture his enemies or kill innocent people. Remember that a few books from now, because Richard won't.

ETA: Does anyone else think it's weird that a series all about the evils of Communism has the moral message of "the ends justify the means"? I'm reminded of a Gladiator parody where Maximus said "I will kill whoever I have to get what I want" and Commodus is like "Exactly!"

Date: 2010-07-13 05:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ivanolix.livejournal.com
Naturally, someone calls him on his plan to conquer the world to save the world, saying that was pretty much Darken Rahl's MO. Richard, of course, replies that he doesn't want to rule the world, but it's the only way to attain peace. Which was… also Darken Rahl's MO.

Hence why book!Richard is kind of a jackass. Yes, I'm feeling free to indulge in that. ;-)

Date: 2010-07-13 07:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pristineungift.livejournal.com
Do you mind if I post a link to this to [livejournal.com profile] peoplespalace ? I think the Darklings who haven't read the books yet would be very interested.

Date: 2010-07-13 09:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brontefanatic.livejournal.com
This is really interesting. Just wondering - Have you read the Goodkind Parodies over at Sandstorm Reviews? If not, you might check it out. I think you might enjoy that site.
(reply from suspended user)
(reply from suspended user)

Date: 2010-07-14 03:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mcity.livejournal.com
>I'm reminded of a Gladiator parody where Maximus said "I will kill whoever I have to get what I want" and Commodus is like "Exactly!"

IIRC, wasn't what Maximus wanted most was to kill Commodus?

Date: 2010-07-14 01:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rann.livejournal.com
Prezactly. I mean, at the point he would be saying that, Maximus isn't exactly out to portray himself as a strong moral paragon and who you should vote for as the next student council emperor of Ancient Rome High. He's basically like "You killed my wife and my kid, I'mma fuck up your shit." If Commodus was all "Heh heh, that's exactly what I would do!" then the reply is probably gonna be "Well I'm the one with an actual reason to do it because of you, you fuck!"

Scenes like that always make me think of the Mighty Max episode where Norman's dangling the guy who killed his family off the edge of a cliff, and the bad guy does the "If you kill me, you'll be just like me!" thing. Norman just drops him and says "I can live with that."

If you're dealing with someone that slaughtered your family for the lulz (which Commodus basically did), and you suddenly have to stop and go "Gee, what example would this set for little Billy out in Peoria if I took revenge?", you are doing it wrong.

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