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seriousficTitle: Home is the place where it feels right to walk around without Agiels
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,172
Characters/Pairings: Cara/Kahlan
Author’s notes: Betaed by the lovely, talented duo of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ivanolix and susurrusnight
Previous: Part 3
Next: Emotion is the glove into which pain slips its hand.
Summary: In one world, Cara is a housewife wedded to Kahlan. In another, she's the favored Mord'Sith of a worthy Lord Rahl. So why is it so hard for her to choose?
In the baths, Cara scrubbed off the smoke and smell of blood that always seemed to get under her leathers. Usually she did that with some regret, but now she couldn't care less. It was just something to separate her from Kahlan.
Why did this Kahlan evoke such distaste? There was lust, there was always lust, but this was a Kahlan stripped of all the petty annoyances that made her a poor warrior. Her insane desire to reproduce. Her compassion for her enemies. Her complicacy in the Seeker's adventurism, and enjoying it like two children at play. She and Cara should've been inseparable, but the gulf between them was wider than ever.
"The Lord Rahl has need of us," Kahlan said. Her movements were as quiet as ever. She stood on the lip of the pool. Cara could've licked her boots. If Kahlan made her.
"Us? Does he want me to watch?"
"Richard knows my tastes run to the bitter. That's why he always uses Denna when the Lady Rahl requires a playmate."
There was always lust. That could be enough, couldn't it? To last her until this foolishness passed.
Cara dressed with Kahlan's aid. For such an intimate gesture, it was cold and indifferent when viewed through the prism of the last few months. Hunting with Richard. Stirring a pot for Zedd. Kahlan meeting her eye…
Kahlan tightened the strap on Cara's chest, then stepped back to await reward or chastisement. Either could bring pleasure.
"The Lord Rahl waits for nothing." Cara turned on her heel.
"Mord'Sith are not nothing," Kahlan said, following.
Cara was not sure she agreed.
***
"There is a threat to our way of life," Richard began, pacing in front of the ranks of the Mord'Sith. Cara and Kahlan were in the front row. The sight of her sisters united in service to Lord Rahl should've stirred something in Cara. It didn't.
Richard went on about the glory of D'Hara and the perfection of the Mord'Sith. What was it about red robes that made men turn everything into a lecture?
Although their hands were locked behind their backs, Cara rubbed her elbow against Kahlan. Kahlan took a step away from her.
"My lord," Cara said when Richard hit a stopping point. "Your words are appreciated, but unnecessary. Tell us the name of the town and we will tear it down with our bare hands."
Kahlan gazed approvingly at her.
"Stowcroft," Richard said.
Instantly, as though a venom percolating inside her had finally taken hold, Cara felt a pang inside her. She was used to pain, her mistress was pain. But this she couldn't placate, box up, or deny. It burned away everything that had happened since she'd fallen asleep in Kahlan's arms.
The Mord'Sith broke to go to their tasks, preparing slaves to carry their supplies, saddling horses, drawing up battle plans, researching their target in the great library of the Mord'Sith. Only Cara stood alone, motionless. The Lord Rahl looked at her. She turned on her heel and walked. Was it possible that in this dream, Stowcroft was an entirely different place than the one she shared with Kahlan? She had to find out.
Cara proceeded quickly to the stables, where the sisters were combing and feeding the horses. She grabbed one that had already been washed and saddled, and swung herself up on it.
"What are you doing?"
Cara looked at Kahlan. She looked thrilling and strong in her Mord'Sith leathers. But it wasn't Kahlan.
"I'm going to scout out Stowcroft."
"You'll come back to me?" Kahlan asked.
Cara nodded. One way or another, it was true.
***
She felt every jolt the horse gave her as she rode. Every brick of the road, every leaf of the tree, every song from the birds was more and more familiar. Though it was a day's ride, she didn't stop. She couldn't.
Finally, she spotted the village. The smoke was curling from the chimneys just as she'd remembered from her time with Kahlan, from her childhood. She dismounted at the edge of town… there weren't even any sentries… and led her horse in. It hit her in a wave how tired she was, like she'd taken a blow to the head, but she was Mord'Sith. Mord'Sith endured.
People stared at her as she walked through them. They looked at her with fear and caution, like she was a poisonous snake they weren't allowed to kill. There was the boy Richard, his grandfather Zedd. They didn't offer her a rabbit-on-a-stick.
She led the horse to the water trough in front of the inn, then petted its mane as it drank gratefully. It was good to know that at least the dumb animal liked her. She set out for the house she'd built with Kahlan. In a matter of moments, she was running.
When she found the manor, it was only a framework of a house, a skeleton. She walked between the beams, onto dry dirt outlined by joists. There was no one there.
"Kahlan… please…" she whispered to the air, to a Creator who hadn't made her as she was.
"Kahlan's back at the Temple."
Cara whirled, reaching for her Agiels. She was a little surprised to find them there.
The woman who spoke looked like her. She wore the trousers and tunic that Cara had worn in Stowcroft. There was even a knife hanging from her belt, the hilt the same as the one Cara had clung to when she'd been weaponless.
"She can be here, if you wish," the other Cara said. "You can be me, if you wish. But you have to choose. What is it you want, Cara?"
"Where's Kahlan?"
"I believe we've established you want her…" Cara lowered her head. "And what you want from her."
"Where is she!?"
"I told you, she's where you want her to be. If you want her here, then she's out at the market. When she comes home, this house will be finished and warm with a fire, and she'll ask what you're doing in that ridiculous outfit. You can keep it. Sentimental value."
"And if she isn't?"
The other Cara crossed her arms. "Then this town is full of enemies. You can kill as many as you like and Kahlan will join you. And this house will stay as it is."
Cara held out her Agiel, pointing it at her reflection like a bow pulled taut. "This is an illusion. I don't know who you are, but you reached into my mind and constructed a world out of smoke and phantasms. Two Kahlans who both looked at me with love and affection? No. Not possible."
The other Cara smiled. "It looks real. It sounds real." She ran a hand down her bodice, tracing the path Kahlan had taken. "It feels real."
Cara smiled right back at her. "I'll tell you how I'm sure it's a lie. You gave me a choice. In the real world, I never have one." She turned the Agiel around and pulled it between her breasts. The pain was manageable at first. She forced it deeper, and the other Cara shook her head.
"Then you choose death."
The pain was growing. Cara concentrated on that. She shut out Kahlan, both of them. She shut out herself. Her heart was slowing. Her eyes were watering. She fell to her knees, and from there it was a short trip to the ground. She tasted blood, and could feel something equally warm coming from her ears, her eyes. Her body was breaking down, and she was dimly aware of her limbs rebelling against her. Nonetheless, she kept the Agiel pressed to her heart.
"You're a fool, Cara Mason." The woman, the one wearing her face, was crouched in front of her. "All you have to do is choose and you'll be happy!"
As always, the pain welcomed her back and filled the world with acid, dissolving all entanglements, all fears, all else. "You don't know me that well," Cara gritted out, and suddenly it was like the sun had come out from behind the clouds, replacing the shadows with light. All the magic in the world couldn't replace the purity of her Agiel.
A woman stood over her, but now she could see it wasn't Cara. It was Nicci. The ground she laid on was cold stone instead of dirt, and the sky was stalactites instead of clouds, but that was unimportant. Nicci had harmed Kahlan, harmed Richard, and threatened Cara's own life. The latter she could forgive. The former were inexcusable.
Her fist lashed out and caught Nicci in the eye, knocking her to the gray slate floor. Cara quickly took stock of her surroundings. A cave, obviously. She was naked, her skin discolored from the cold. Nearby, she could see her leathers and supplies laid out like meat at a butcher's, covered in the smoke from a half dozen bowls of incense, each burning a different color. Her Agiel was untouched, lying alongside the charred skeleton of her horse.
Cara scrambled for it, smelling roasting flesh and hearing Nicci say something unimportant. Magic roared in her ears, energy filling the cave so completely she could taste it on her tongue. She hit the ground, its rocky contours digging into her flesh, and got a hand around her Agiel. The pain clothed her, armored her, but she didn't take a second to savor it.
She turned to see Nicci on her feet, her skin glowing like it was on fire. Magic shot out of the sorceress, but Cara raised her Agiel and they crashed together. It was like the cave was full of fire, but Cara walked right through it. Her legs were needled and clumsy from disuse, and her arms were leaden, but when she hit Nicci, the sorceress fell.
Cara fell to her knees, this time able to appreciate the hard rock under her legs, and shook the last of the spell from her head. She was cold and hungry and hurting. Perfect.
"Why?" she demanded, putting the Agiel to Nicci's throat.
"The Lord Rahl ordered me to punish you for your treachery. He seemed to be under the impression that without you, the Seeker would be easy pickings."
Cara jabbed the Agiel into Nicci's throat. Just because she could. "Flattery won't get you anywhere." She pulled the Agiel free and let Nicci writhe. "Why didn't you just kill me like the horse?"
"I put you in a dream, made you bring yourself to me. While you slept, you couldn't protect yourself. It was the only magic that could work on a Mord'Sith."
"So why not a nightmare? Why not make my life a living hell?"
Nicci laid back. She was crying. "We're a lot alike, you know. Forced into a service we didn't understand. Abused. Broken. Raped. The spell was meant to be a paradise you would never leave. It was the least I could do, sister. Why couldn't you have just chosen? You could've lived a long, happy life, right there on that floor."
"I am not your sister. And without duty, there is no happiness." Cara grabbed Nicci by the throat and cracked her head against the rock. It didn't kill her… she'd save that for later… but it freed up Cara's hands to dress herself and eat some of the cured meat in her pack. It tasted like nothing.
Nicci made a certain sense. She had tried to give Cara what she wanted. A Richard she could protect, but who wouldn't compete with her for Kahlan. Kahlan as more than a sister, more than a bedmate. But she had no way of knowing Cara had two dreams, splitting her right down the middle.
An hour later, she heard the shouts of the others. "In here!" she called, and then there they were, rushing in to greet her. Richard wrapped her up in a hug, and Kahlan didn't wait for him to let go to pet her hair, and Zedd crossed his arms and looked pleased.
"We're here to rescue you," Richard said when he stepped back.
"I got bored, so I decided to rescue myself. Hope you don't mind."
Richard smiled and got out of Kahlan's way.
"When we saw you were gone, Zedd felt the presence of powerful magic," Kahlan said, clasping Cara's hands. "Between that and Richard's tracking, we followed you here. We were all so worried…"
"You don't need to worry about me," Cara said. "All she could've done was kill me."
Kahlan squeezed her hands before letting go of them.
Richard was kneeling before Nicci, checking her pulse. "She's still alive. Zedd, is there some kind of prison that could hold her until she's… less confused? If there isn't, we'll have to find a way to divide her Han among the Sisters of the Light."
"Are you sure that's wise?" Zedd asked.
"We've had our differences, but maybe now that the Keeper has been defeated, they can get back to serving the Creator instead of their own ambitions and fears."
"How magnanimous of you, Seeker," Nicci said.
Cara heard something shatter. She turned, Agiels held up, but they couldn't do any good against the stalagmite that Nicci had hurled at her from behind. All she could do was turn so her arm and its padding took the brunt of the impact. She felt the clean snap of the limb as she rolled with the attack, letting herself be thrown to the ground.
Even with her eyes closed in pain, she could see the flash of the magic that hit Zedd and knocked him across the cavern. She opened her eyes and saw Nicci wheeling on Kahlan. Cara didn't know how she did it, but even as the magic gathered like thunder before lightning, she was lunging from where she'd fallen and bearing Kahlan away from the bolt of fire that carved away the air behind them.
Rising above the sound of the opposite wall exploding from the miss was the ring of the Sword of Truth clearing its scabbard. Richard stepped in, his blade slicing through the air, cutting a thin line of blood from Nicci's chest even as she threw herself backward. Another pillar of fire danced from Nicci's hand, and even though Richard blocked it with his sword, the force of the magic propelled him across the floor like a flat rock skipping over water. He hit the opposite wall, screamed as his back touched the molten rock that the first bolt had left.
"Richard!" Kahlan cried, trying to jump up, and Cara pressed her back down.
Richard stepped away from the wall, his vest on fire from the brief contact, and centered himself. Nicci smiled. She turned her magic toward Kahlan and Cara, who held herself in front of the Confessor, her Agiel in her good hand. Richard broke, running to protect them, and with her other hand Nicci drew a dacra from inside her robe. It spun, end over triple end, toward Richard.
"Wizard's fourth rule!" Zedd shouted and in mid-stride Richard turned, his sword flashing out to catch the dacra like a lumberjack chopping down a tree. The dacra shot backwards, and as Nicci blinked, it embedded itself in her ribs.
She looked down at the dacra, glowing as it began to sap away her powers, then looked up at Richard. "Thank you," she said, before the dacra ripped her Han away along with her life. Nicci collapsed. Her skin turned gray. Richard went to her, silently closing her glossy eyes.
"Cara, you can get off me now," Kahlan said, and Cara rolled away, eager not to be touching anymore.
Zedd trudged up to them, rubbing his back. "It just goes to show you, wizard's fourth rule. Always be on guard."
Richard completed the circle, helping Kahlan up. "I thought the wizard's fourth rule was seeing the unseen."
"Well…" Zedd looked from Richard to Nicci. "That's a good rule to remember too." Richard was kneading his temples, and Zedd put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you feeling alright, boy?"
Kahlan's concern was with Cara, who sat against a stalagmite, rubbing her arm. "You're hurt," Kahlan said, and pulled off her backpack to get a sling. Cara put her Agiel away. As she swathed Cara's broken arm, Kahlan glanced around at the magical apparatuses Nicci had assembled. "What'd she do to you?"
Cara looked at her. Smooth porcelain skin. Long dark hair. Eyes that seemed to pull away the bad from you so they could only see the good. "She tortured me."
"Are you alright?"
"I'm Mord'Sith," Cara answered.
"Interesting news, everyone," Zedd announced. "By deflecting the dacra back into Nicci, Richard has retaken his Han!"
"That's good news, right?" Kahlan asked, and Cara nearly chuckled at her naiveté. It was like she hadn't been paying attention all this time.
"Not yet," Richard said. "There's still the small matter of my head exploding."
"You don't have to worry about that," Zedd said. "It would be more like your brains leaking out your ears. Fortunately, with the underworld sealed once more, we have time for me to formally train Richard."
"I don't suppose this training can be done in Aydindril?" Kahlan asked, already rueful.
"Or at a beach?" Cara added.
"I'm afraid not. We'll have to return to Hartland, where I left my wizard's rock. It's the only thing that can control Richard's Han during the learning process."
"You'll like Hartland," Richard assured Cara. "It has an amazing hunting ground, excellent fishing, and it's the only place in the New World where you can get proper spice soup."
Zedd was already rubbing his stomach.
Kahlan had finished tying Cara's arm into a sling. "Then why are we waiting while the Lord Rahl's brains are in danger of escaping his ears? Lead the way, Seeker."
She stood, with a little help from Kahlan, who patted her injured arm in a way that made it seem to hurt less, a way Cara could never replicate. "You can ride on my horse until we can purchase you a new one," Kahlan said.
Cara nodded tightly, letting it mean nothing to her, and set off with her friends on another quest. She had the ability and the opportunity to protect them from harm. That was more than enough for her.
There were certain truths to a Mord'Sith's existence. To Cara's existence, the truths were these: A Mord'Sith could kill anything. The Lord Rahl loved Kahlan. Kahlan loved the Lord Rahl. And in another life, where Cara was a blacksmith and Kahlan was her wife, she was as happy as she was being a Mord'Sith.
Some truths mattered, some didn't. Cara's truths were fantasies. The all-important, all-consuming truth was the Lord Rahl. She loved him as a master. He loved Kahlan as a woman. And there was no room in there for fantasy.
She would keep telling herself that until she didn't need reminding.
It wouldn't take long. A Mord'Sith could kill anything. Even love.
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,172
Characters/Pairings: Cara/Kahlan
Author’s notes: Betaed by the lovely, talented duo of
ivanolix and susurrusnight Previous: Part 3
Next: Emotion is the glove into which pain slips its hand.
Summary: In one world, Cara is a housewife wedded to Kahlan. In another, she's the favored Mord'Sith of a worthy Lord Rahl. So why is it so hard for her to choose?
In the baths, Cara scrubbed off the smoke and smell of blood that always seemed to get under her leathers. Usually she did that with some regret, but now she couldn't care less. It was just something to separate her from Kahlan.
Why did this Kahlan evoke such distaste? There was lust, there was always lust, but this was a Kahlan stripped of all the petty annoyances that made her a poor warrior. Her insane desire to reproduce. Her compassion for her enemies. Her complicacy in the Seeker's adventurism, and enjoying it like two children at play. She and Cara should've been inseparable, but the gulf between them was wider than ever.
"The Lord Rahl has need of us," Kahlan said. Her movements were as quiet as ever. She stood on the lip of the pool. Cara could've licked her boots. If Kahlan made her.
"Us? Does he want me to watch?"
"Richard knows my tastes run to the bitter. That's why he always uses Denna when the Lady Rahl requires a playmate."
There was always lust. That could be enough, couldn't it? To last her until this foolishness passed.
Cara dressed with Kahlan's aid. For such an intimate gesture, it was cold and indifferent when viewed through the prism of the last few months. Hunting with Richard. Stirring a pot for Zedd. Kahlan meeting her eye…
Kahlan tightened the strap on Cara's chest, then stepped back to await reward or chastisement. Either could bring pleasure.
"The Lord Rahl waits for nothing." Cara turned on her heel.
"Mord'Sith are not nothing," Kahlan said, following.
Cara was not sure she agreed.
***
"There is a threat to our way of life," Richard began, pacing in front of the ranks of the Mord'Sith. Cara and Kahlan were in the front row. The sight of her sisters united in service to Lord Rahl should've stirred something in Cara. It didn't.
Richard went on about the glory of D'Hara and the perfection of the Mord'Sith. What was it about red robes that made men turn everything into a lecture?
Although their hands were locked behind their backs, Cara rubbed her elbow against Kahlan. Kahlan took a step away from her.
"My lord," Cara said when Richard hit a stopping point. "Your words are appreciated, but unnecessary. Tell us the name of the town and we will tear it down with our bare hands."
Kahlan gazed approvingly at her.
"Stowcroft," Richard said.
Instantly, as though a venom percolating inside her had finally taken hold, Cara felt a pang inside her. She was used to pain, her mistress was pain. But this she couldn't placate, box up, or deny. It burned away everything that had happened since she'd fallen asleep in Kahlan's arms.
The Mord'Sith broke to go to their tasks, preparing slaves to carry their supplies, saddling horses, drawing up battle plans, researching their target in the great library of the Mord'Sith. Only Cara stood alone, motionless. The Lord Rahl looked at her. She turned on her heel and walked. Was it possible that in this dream, Stowcroft was an entirely different place than the one she shared with Kahlan? She had to find out.
Cara proceeded quickly to the stables, where the sisters were combing and feeding the horses. She grabbed one that had already been washed and saddled, and swung herself up on it.
"What are you doing?"
Cara looked at Kahlan. She looked thrilling and strong in her Mord'Sith leathers. But it wasn't Kahlan.
"I'm going to scout out Stowcroft."
"You'll come back to me?" Kahlan asked.
Cara nodded. One way or another, it was true.
***
She felt every jolt the horse gave her as she rode. Every brick of the road, every leaf of the tree, every song from the birds was more and more familiar. Though it was a day's ride, she didn't stop. She couldn't.
Finally, she spotted the village. The smoke was curling from the chimneys just as she'd remembered from her time with Kahlan, from her childhood. She dismounted at the edge of town… there weren't even any sentries… and led her horse in. It hit her in a wave how tired she was, like she'd taken a blow to the head, but she was Mord'Sith. Mord'Sith endured.
People stared at her as she walked through them. They looked at her with fear and caution, like she was a poisonous snake they weren't allowed to kill. There was the boy Richard, his grandfather Zedd. They didn't offer her a rabbit-on-a-stick.
She led the horse to the water trough in front of the inn, then petted its mane as it drank gratefully. It was good to know that at least the dumb animal liked her. She set out for the house she'd built with Kahlan. In a matter of moments, she was running.
When she found the manor, it was only a framework of a house, a skeleton. She walked between the beams, onto dry dirt outlined by joists. There was no one there.
"Kahlan… please…" she whispered to the air, to a Creator who hadn't made her as she was.
"Kahlan's back at the Temple."
Cara whirled, reaching for her Agiels. She was a little surprised to find them there.
The woman who spoke looked like her. She wore the trousers and tunic that Cara had worn in Stowcroft. There was even a knife hanging from her belt, the hilt the same as the one Cara had clung to when she'd been weaponless.
"She can be here, if you wish," the other Cara said. "You can be me, if you wish. But you have to choose. What is it you want, Cara?"
"Where's Kahlan?"
"I believe we've established you want her…" Cara lowered her head. "And what you want from her."
"Where is she!?"
"I told you, she's where you want her to be. If you want her here, then she's out at the market. When she comes home, this house will be finished and warm with a fire, and she'll ask what you're doing in that ridiculous outfit. You can keep it. Sentimental value."
"And if she isn't?"
The other Cara crossed her arms. "Then this town is full of enemies. You can kill as many as you like and Kahlan will join you. And this house will stay as it is."
Cara held out her Agiel, pointing it at her reflection like a bow pulled taut. "This is an illusion. I don't know who you are, but you reached into my mind and constructed a world out of smoke and phantasms. Two Kahlans who both looked at me with love and affection? No. Not possible."
The other Cara smiled. "It looks real. It sounds real." She ran a hand down her bodice, tracing the path Kahlan had taken. "It feels real."
Cara smiled right back at her. "I'll tell you how I'm sure it's a lie. You gave me a choice. In the real world, I never have one." She turned the Agiel around and pulled it between her breasts. The pain was manageable at first. She forced it deeper, and the other Cara shook her head.
"Then you choose death."
The pain was growing. Cara concentrated on that. She shut out Kahlan, both of them. She shut out herself. Her heart was slowing. Her eyes were watering. She fell to her knees, and from there it was a short trip to the ground. She tasted blood, and could feel something equally warm coming from her ears, her eyes. Her body was breaking down, and she was dimly aware of her limbs rebelling against her. Nonetheless, she kept the Agiel pressed to her heart.
"You're a fool, Cara Mason." The woman, the one wearing her face, was crouched in front of her. "All you have to do is choose and you'll be happy!"
As always, the pain welcomed her back and filled the world with acid, dissolving all entanglements, all fears, all else. "You don't know me that well," Cara gritted out, and suddenly it was like the sun had come out from behind the clouds, replacing the shadows with light. All the magic in the world couldn't replace the purity of her Agiel.
A woman stood over her, but now she could see it wasn't Cara. It was Nicci. The ground she laid on was cold stone instead of dirt, and the sky was stalactites instead of clouds, but that was unimportant. Nicci had harmed Kahlan, harmed Richard, and threatened Cara's own life. The latter she could forgive. The former were inexcusable.
Her fist lashed out and caught Nicci in the eye, knocking her to the gray slate floor. Cara quickly took stock of her surroundings. A cave, obviously. She was naked, her skin discolored from the cold. Nearby, she could see her leathers and supplies laid out like meat at a butcher's, covered in the smoke from a half dozen bowls of incense, each burning a different color. Her Agiel was untouched, lying alongside the charred skeleton of her horse.
Cara scrambled for it, smelling roasting flesh and hearing Nicci say something unimportant. Magic roared in her ears, energy filling the cave so completely she could taste it on her tongue. She hit the ground, its rocky contours digging into her flesh, and got a hand around her Agiel. The pain clothed her, armored her, but she didn't take a second to savor it.
She turned to see Nicci on her feet, her skin glowing like it was on fire. Magic shot out of the sorceress, but Cara raised her Agiel and they crashed together. It was like the cave was full of fire, but Cara walked right through it. Her legs were needled and clumsy from disuse, and her arms were leaden, but when she hit Nicci, the sorceress fell.
Cara fell to her knees, this time able to appreciate the hard rock under her legs, and shook the last of the spell from her head. She was cold and hungry and hurting. Perfect.
"Why?" she demanded, putting the Agiel to Nicci's throat.
"The Lord Rahl ordered me to punish you for your treachery. He seemed to be under the impression that without you, the Seeker would be easy pickings."
Cara jabbed the Agiel into Nicci's throat. Just because she could. "Flattery won't get you anywhere." She pulled the Agiel free and let Nicci writhe. "Why didn't you just kill me like the horse?"
"I put you in a dream, made you bring yourself to me. While you slept, you couldn't protect yourself. It was the only magic that could work on a Mord'Sith."
"So why not a nightmare? Why not make my life a living hell?"
Nicci laid back. She was crying. "We're a lot alike, you know. Forced into a service we didn't understand. Abused. Broken. Raped. The spell was meant to be a paradise you would never leave. It was the least I could do, sister. Why couldn't you have just chosen? You could've lived a long, happy life, right there on that floor."
"I am not your sister. And without duty, there is no happiness." Cara grabbed Nicci by the throat and cracked her head against the rock. It didn't kill her… she'd save that for later… but it freed up Cara's hands to dress herself and eat some of the cured meat in her pack. It tasted like nothing.
Nicci made a certain sense. She had tried to give Cara what she wanted. A Richard she could protect, but who wouldn't compete with her for Kahlan. Kahlan as more than a sister, more than a bedmate. But she had no way of knowing Cara had two dreams, splitting her right down the middle.
An hour later, she heard the shouts of the others. "In here!" she called, and then there they were, rushing in to greet her. Richard wrapped her up in a hug, and Kahlan didn't wait for him to let go to pet her hair, and Zedd crossed his arms and looked pleased.
"We're here to rescue you," Richard said when he stepped back.
"I got bored, so I decided to rescue myself. Hope you don't mind."
Richard smiled and got out of Kahlan's way.
"When we saw you were gone, Zedd felt the presence of powerful magic," Kahlan said, clasping Cara's hands. "Between that and Richard's tracking, we followed you here. We were all so worried…"
"You don't need to worry about me," Cara said. "All she could've done was kill me."
Kahlan squeezed her hands before letting go of them.
Richard was kneeling before Nicci, checking her pulse. "She's still alive. Zedd, is there some kind of prison that could hold her until she's… less confused? If there isn't, we'll have to find a way to divide her Han among the Sisters of the Light."
"Are you sure that's wise?" Zedd asked.
"We've had our differences, but maybe now that the Keeper has been defeated, they can get back to serving the Creator instead of their own ambitions and fears."
"How magnanimous of you, Seeker," Nicci said.
Cara heard something shatter. She turned, Agiels held up, but they couldn't do any good against the stalagmite that Nicci had hurled at her from behind. All she could do was turn so her arm and its padding took the brunt of the impact. She felt the clean snap of the limb as she rolled with the attack, letting herself be thrown to the ground.
Even with her eyes closed in pain, she could see the flash of the magic that hit Zedd and knocked him across the cavern. She opened her eyes and saw Nicci wheeling on Kahlan. Cara didn't know how she did it, but even as the magic gathered like thunder before lightning, she was lunging from where she'd fallen and bearing Kahlan away from the bolt of fire that carved away the air behind them.
Rising above the sound of the opposite wall exploding from the miss was the ring of the Sword of Truth clearing its scabbard. Richard stepped in, his blade slicing through the air, cutting a thin line of blood from Nicci's chest even as she threw herself backward. Another pillar of fire danced from Nicci's hand, and even though Richard blocked it with his sword, the force of the magic propelled him across the floor like a flat rock skipping over water. He hit the opposite wall, screamed as his back touched the molten rock that the first bolt had left.
"Richard!" Kahlan cried, trying to jump up, and Cara pressed her back down.
Richard stepped away from the wall, his vest on fire from the brief contact, and centered himself. Nicci smiled. She turned her magic toward Kahlan and Cara, who held herself in front of the Confessor, her Agiel in her good hand. Richard broke, running to protect them, and with her other hand Nicci drew a dacra from inside her robe. It spun, end over triple end, toward Richard.
"Wizard's fourth rule!" Zedd shouted and in mid-stride Richard turned, his sword flashing out to catch the dacra like a lumberjack chopping down a tree. The dacra shot backwards, and as Nicci blinked, it embedded itself in her ribs.
She looked down at the dacra, glowing as it began to sap away her powers, then looked up at Richard. "Thank you," she said, before the dacra ripped her Han away along with her life. Nicci collapsed. Her skin turned gray. Richard went to her, silently closing her glossy eyes.
"Cara, you can get off me now," Kahlan said, and Cara rolled away, eager not to be touching anymore.
Zedd trudged up to them, rubbing his back. "It just goes to show you, wizard's fourth rule. Always be on guard."
Richard completed the circle, helping Kahlan up. "I thought the wizard's fourth rule was seeing the unseen."
"Well…" Zedd looked from Richard to Nicci. "That's a good rule to remember too." Richard was kneading his temples, and Zedd put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you feeling alright, boy?"
Kahlan's concern was with Cara, who sat against a stalagmite, rubbing her arm. "You're hurt," Kahlan said, and pulled off her backpack to get a sling. Cara put her Agiel away. As she swathed Cara's broken arm, Kahlan glanced around at the magical apparatuses Nicci had assembled. "What'd she do to you?"
Cara looked at her. Smooth porcelain skin. Long dark hair. Eyes that seemed to pull away the bad from you so they could only see the good. "She tortured me."
"Are you alright?"
"I'm Mord'Sith," Cara answered.
"Interesting news, everyone," Zedd announced. "By deflecting the dacra back into Nicci, Richard has retaken his Han!"
"That's good news, right?" Kahlan asked, and Cara nearly chuckled at her naiveté. It was like she hadn't been paying attention all this time.
"Not yet," Richard said. "There's still the small matter of my head exploding."
"You don't have to worry about that," Zedd said. "It would be more like your brains leaking out your ears. Fortunately, with the underworld sealed once more, we have time for me to formally train Richard."
"I don't suppose this training can be done in Aydindril?" Kahlan asked, already rueful.
"Or at a beach?" Cara added.
"I'm afraid not. We'll have to return to Hartland, where I left my wizard's rock. It's the only thing that can control Richard's Han during the learning process."
"You'll like Hartland," Richard assured Cara. "It has an amazing hunting ground, excellent fishing, and it's the only place in the New World where you can get proper spice soup."
Zedd was already rubbing his stomach.
Kahlan had finished tying Cara's arm into a sling. "Then why are we waiting while the Lord Rahl's brains are in danger of escaping his ears? Lead the way, Seeker."
She stood, with a little help from Kahlan, who patted her injured arm in a way that made it seem to hurt less, a way Cara could never replicate. "You can ride on my horse until we can purchase you a new one," Kahlan said.
Cara nodded tightly, letting it mean nothing to her, and set off with her friends on another quest. She had the ability and the opportunity to protect them from harm. That was more than enough for her.
There were certain truths to a Mord'Sith's existence. To Cara's existence, the truths were these: A Mord'Sith could kill anything. The Lord Rahl loved Kahlan. Kahlan loved the Lord Rahl. And in another life, where Cara was a blacksmith and Kahlan was her wife, she was as happy as she was being a Mord'Sith.
Some truths mattered, some didn't. Cara's truths were fantasies. The all-important, all-consuming truth was the Lord Rahl. She loved him as a master. He loved Kahlan as a woman. And there was no room in there for fantasy.
She would keep telling herself that until she didn't need reminding.
It wouldn't take long. A Mord'Sith could kill anything. Even love.
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no subject
Date: 2010-06-13 04:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-13 04:46 pm (UTC)Some truths mattered, some didn't. Cara's truths were fantasies. The all-important, all-consuming truth was the Lord Rahl. She loved him as a master. He loved Kahlan as a woman. And there was no room in there for fantasy.
She would keep telling herself that until she didn't need reminding.
It wouldn't take long. A Mord'Sith could kill anything. Even love.
That brought tears into my eyes, poor Cara. I'm sad it ended this way, but happy to have read it. Thank you.
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Date: 2010-06-13 04:50 pm (UTC)"A Mord'Sith could kill anything. Even love." -- NOOOO!
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Date: 2010-06-13 05:25 pm (UTC)Very well done. Thanks for sharing!
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Date: 2010-06-13 05:56 pm (UTC)This was so beautiful but my heart is shattered. *sobs* Car-a!
Cara's unhappiness with Mord'Sith!Kahlan and her lack of Kahlan's faults which are really Kahlan's strengths was wonderfully presented and so moving. And Cara realizing that everything was a trick, because she was given choices and had happiness made me curl up in a fetal ball of hurt for her. And that last line. *agiel to chest* God *sobs again*
Seriously, this fic was so good but hurts so bad at the same time. You have masterfully crushed my heart sir
*bows down*
Please tell there's gonna be more in this verse, where Cara discovers Kahlan does love her too? And if there's not gonna be a sequel just lie to me and tell me there will be! Ignorance and delusion make life so much more tolerable!
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Date: 2010-06-13 06:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-13 06:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-13 07:12 pm (UTC)I...can understand that, to a degree. FASCINATING story! The ending makes me sad though. :( C/K foreverrrrr. And I'm with ein_myria - props for that last sentence.
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Date: 2010-06-13 07:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-13 08:47 pm (UTC)Thanks again for the many views of Cara in this fic.
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Date: 2010-06-13 10:05 pm (UTC)Please tell me there's the possibility of a sequel in there somewhere??!!?
As always thank you for sharing:)
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Date: 2010-06-13 10:14 pm (UTC)Thank you :)
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Date: 2010-06-13 10:38 pm (UTC)reality is vicious :(
still LOLed at Kahlan's "insane desire to reproduce".
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Date: 2010-06-13 11:22 pm (UTC)I've loved this. I love how it started being cracky and then it got serious and a bit heartbreaking without losing the funny (if that makes any sense).
It reminded me a bit to Farscape's "Won't get fooled again" (which I'm not sure if you've watched). Anyway, that is a Good Thing.
I'm really glad you plan to keep writing in this universe :D
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Date: 2010-06-13 11:45 pm (UTC)This was brilliantly written and Cara's choice was truly heartwrenching and in line with her stubborn nature. "I'll tell you how I'm sure it's a lie. You gave me a choice. In the real world, I never have one." OH CARA. I can't wait for more.
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Date: 2010-06-14 03:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-14 04:51 am (UTC)Dude, you ripped out my heart and stomped on it. I've been sitting here for a few minutes just shaking my head, well done. Truly brilliant.
I'd love a happier sequel but I'd tune in for another trip through emotional meat grinder - your writing is just that awesome. :)
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Date: 2010-06-14 08:14 am (UTC)but I enjoyed every chapter!
And this :
"We're here to rescue you," Richard said when he stepped back.
"I got bored, so I decided to rescue myself. Hope you don't mind."
YES, Cara is back in reality! LOL - very well done!
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Date: 2010-06-14 07:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-14 09:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 08:17 pm (UTC)I didn't see Nicci's torture coming! I'm glad the different worlds weren't "real AUs" a la Unbroken conveniently explained away by powerful magic.
kudos!!
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Date: 2010-07-20 09:20 pm (UTC)But you have more so I am reading on! : )
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Date: 2010-07-20 11:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-04 09:50 pm (UTC)Thats heartbreaking.