seriousfic

1. Cara has a kid.

Richard: yeah
Kahlan: but
Zedd: what?

2. Cara used to have a girlfriend and, like, they grew up together and they are so wonderfully CANON and they very obviously love each other and it's just this great lesbian storyline which involves people doing bad things while not being Psycho Lesbians. Plus, BELTS.

3. We all breathe a sigh of relief that Cara doesn't end up raped/having brain-wash-sex with Rahl. Thank you, show, for not going there, because that would break me in the bad way and really, I'm not sure my heart could take it after CARA'S FUCKING KID, OMG.

4. Richard thinks that if Kahlan used her orgasm power on him, his love for her would protect him. Oh shit, son, he read the book! Perhaps you might want to practice safe sex anyway, i.e., USE A FUCKING RADA'HAN.

5. CARA ASKED DAHLIA TO GO STEADY. <3 <3 <3 "We could serve Richard together." (somewhere, Richard is sitting up like a meerkat, all "two girls one Lord Rahl?"). TV, you will give me a thing for girls asking other girls to come with them to the side of right and virtue where they will cuddle. I, just, I swear that if the show ends, I will be okay with it if Dahlia and Cara end up together ~~like Richard and Kahlan~~. They can reshoot whatever they have now, IDGAF. Basically, everything that Cara/Leo sucked at, Cara/Dahlia wins at.

6. RAHL KILLED CARA'S KID. He has so got to die. Not, like, Dr. Light kinda die where he's a bad character and I'm tired of him, because I do love to hate him, but I thought he couldn't get any scummier than Plan "You'll Be My Wife In Every Respect" from season one, and this is… like… quantum levels of scumminess. I'm hoping Cara gets to kill him. Would that not be an excellent end/stopping point for her arc? PS, DIAF RAHL, love, everyone.

7. I am a little confused about Mord'Sith fighting each other with Agiels. How does that even work? "Well, I'm in mind-boggling agony just carrying one, but now that you've pressed another one against me, shit."

8. Richard kinda okay with the idea of repopulating the Earth with Kahlan, even if GENETICS DON'T WORK THAT WAY. Still, I like that. It's a character flaw, but one that feels a lot more real than magic anger bullshit. Haven't the characters spent the entire show worrying that being in love with Kahlan would distract Richard from his quest? Well, there you go. He spends a few minutes entertaining the possibility with Kahlan, then immediately snaps back to "QUEST QUEST QUEST!" when one of the ~~Atari~~ first generation shows up.

9. CARA FUCKING LICKED DAHLIA. That deserves a point of its own.

10. I would seriously watch a freak of the week show with Cara and Dahlia. It would be like Supernatural for femslash fandom. Only no incest, plz. ~~Okay maybe a little~~.

11. Richard: Me and Kahlan's kid could kick your kid's ass!

Cara: Dream on, newb.

Idea for a movie spin-off: Richard and Kahlan have had a kid, while Cara and Dahlia are raising Rahl's son. Ten years later, their kids go to summer camp, each at a different side of the lake. When they compete against each other in the camp games, their parents will do ANYTHING to make sure their kids win.

Well, it is owned by Disney, after all.

12. So, canonically speaking, was Cara seeing Dahlia and Trianna at the same time? Because you know what that would mean...