Movie review: Iron Man 2
May. 10th, 2010 11:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seriousficLet me sum up Iron Man 2 for you. In the middle, there's a scene where Nick Fury (unforgivably not played by Stephen Lang) tells Tony Stark that he needs to work on something, so his agents will be holding Tony captive in his house until he's finished with it. It's a good scene, with a witty location and Scarlett Johannson in a catsuit.
Then we see Agent Coulson from the first movie at Tony's house, where he tells Tony that he can't leave until he's done with the project. Then Agent Coulson says he has to leave, there's some continuity porn in New Mexico he has to investigate. It's a fun scene with a great wink to an Easter egg in the original.
Then in the next scene, Tony goes out to buy some strawberries.
Now, you've probably enjoyed all these scenes. You're probably also wondering why the hell they brought in Agent Coulson if he was going to leave five minutes later, and what was the point of SHIELD locking Tony down if he can apparently just walk right out the backdoor like it ain't no thang.
And that's the problem. Someone, somewhere, thought "Hey, we're doing a sequel. It has to be better than the original. The original had one story... what if we had ten stories? Then it would be ten times better!" And there you go. There's just so much STUFF that none of it has any impact or heft.
1. The Black Widow (for some reason w/o sexy Russian accent. Can Scarlett Johannson not do a Russian accent? If she can't, why is she even there? Isn't that something you should probably cover in an audition?) infiltrates Tony Stark's inner circle by being hot. For a little while, it looks like there's going to be a love triangle between her, Tony, and Pepper, but then no. And she and Pepper aren't getting along, but they form a dynamic duo. I know you're thinking that sounds kinda cool, but both the antagonism and the team-up are left entirely off-screen.
Okay, anyway, Natasha is Tony's new secretary, put in place by SHIELD to keep him on the straight and narrow (though for some reason she encourages him to party down). She doesn't really do anything that couldn't have been done by the two other super-spies in the cast, so the only reason she's there is to establish her for the Avengers. But we learn so little about her that it's entirely pointless, since she has no personality or motivation or backstory at all. If she just showed up in the Avengers and Nick Fury said "This is the Black Widow, our best agent," it would have the exact same effect. Plus, since we all know they really wanted to cast Emily Blunt but couldn't get her, why didn't they just leave the character out until they could cast the actress they wanted?
2. Tony Stark has to reconcile with his dad, who is dead, so obviously a high priority. Remember that part in the first movie where Tony talked wistfully about his old man? I guess that was bullshit, since here Tony talks about how distant and at-odds they were. I guess daddy issues weren't covered by every other sci-fi hero out there.
3. Tony Stark is dying because the element he uses to power his heart thing is poisoning him. And I guess he can't just get surgery to take out the shrapnel or put in a magnet. So you'd think there'd be scenes where Tony wants to go out and fight evil, but he can't because using the Iron Man armor would kill him. Thus there'd be a race against time to cure himself so he can stop the forces of evil. But no, the poisoning just gives him a rash.
Eventually, Tony manages to create a new element, which cures him. I'm pretty sure this is only in the movie because...
Executive: Everyone liked the scene in the first movie where Tony built stuff. Let's have him build something else!
Screenwriter: But Tony's already built his armor. Why else would he need?
Executive: I don't know, just make sure he spends ten minutes with construction tools.
So he does.
4. Tony makes Pepper CEO of Stark Enterprises, but she quits in the end, making this kinda like a sitcom episode where someone ends up being a milkman for a day. And somehow they fall in love. Literally, them kissing comes out of nowhere and then Tony's talking about how he has a steady girlfriend now. Wouldn't it be more interesting if they started the movie in a relationship and then their relationship had to cope with Tony being Tony?
5. Ivan Vanko's dad was ripped off by Tony Stark's dad, so he wants to get revenge. Which is a pretty vague motivation. Tony doesn't give a shit about his dad, so why should we? Plus, it makes Vanko into just a bruiser with a grudge. Not exactly Big Bad territory.
6. Justin Hammer is a weapons designer who has a kind of Mozart-Salieri relationship with Tony. Only Salieri had to work his ass off to do what came effortlessly to Mozart, thus the resentment, while Hammer is just a hack. People talk about the movie having too many villains, but really it's that both of them are weak. Hammer's a boob and Vanko's a thug. If they kill Tony, so what? Hammer will sell weapons to the US military and Vanko will drink vodka.
Also, isn't it a bit odd to cast SAM ROCKWELL as a hopeless schmuck? He's constantly doing all this cool, funny, geek chic stuff and everyone just gives him blank stares. It makes them look a bit priggish. Wouldn't it be better if Hammer were a real rival who just couldn't manage to eclipse Tony, no matter how hard he tried? He'd practice his 'charisma routine' in the mirror for hours, but then Tony makes an off-the-cuff remark that completely sinks his battleship. You could even make him a bit sympathetic, since the movie knows that Tony is a jerkass and Hammer is the guy who resents Tony being a jerkass.
7. Rhodey is increasingly disillusioned with Tony, and eventually becomes War Machine.
8. The US government wants the Iron Man armor, but Tony won't give it to them.
9. Did you hear there's going to be an Avengers movie?
Any one of those could be the A-plot, but they all wind up as filler while we wait for Vanko to build a bunch of robots to kill Tony. Literally, Hammer and Vanko spend almost the entire movie arguing about a bird. You'd think Hammer could be using his resources to bankrupt Tony or something.
It's just frustrating how resolutely "one thumb up" this movie is. Did they not give Favreau enough time to put together a good story? I would rather have a great movie a few months from now then a good movie right this instant. If they'd just let go of one of those plot points up there, the whole story would benefit from it. It's not having a lot of stuff that makes a sequel great, it's how it all ties together to become more than the sum of its parts. Terminator 2 doubles the amount of Terminators, but they all serve the story. Terminator Salvation has twenty different kind of Terminator, but they're all shit. When you're making a sequel, the question shouldn't be "Can I fit this in?" but "Will this hurt the story?" Look up. This story has nine different plots. How can you delve into nine plots in two hours? You can't.
Then we see Agent Coulson from the first movie at Tony's house, where he tells Tony that he can't leave until he's done with the project. Then Agent Coulson says he has to leave, there's some continuity porn in New Mexico he has to investigate. It's a fun scene with a great wink to an Easter egg in the original.
Then in the next scene, Tony goes out to buy some strawberries.
Now, you've probably enjoyed all these scenes. You're probably also wondering why the hell they brought in Agent Coulson if he was going to leave five minutes later, and what was the point of SHIELD locking Tony down if he can apparently just walk right out the backdoor like it ain't no thang.
And that's the problem. Someone, somewhere, thought "Hey, we're doing a sequel. It has to be better than the original. The original had one story... what if we had ten stories? Then it would be ten times better!" And there you go. There's just so much STUFF that none of it has any impact or heft.
1. The Black Widow (for some reason w/o sexy Russian accent. Can Scarlett Johannson not do a Russian accent? If she can't, why is she even there? Isn't that something you should probably cover in an audition?) infiltrates Tony Stark's inner circle by being hot. For a little while, it looks like there's going to be a love triangle between her, Tony, and Pepper, but then no. And she and Pepper aren't getting along, but they form a dynamic duo. I know you're thinking that sounds kinda cool, but both the antagonism and the team-up are left entirely off-screen.
Okay, anyway, Natasha is Tony's new secretary, put in place by SHIELD to keep him on the straight and narrow (though for some reason she encourages him to party down). She doesn't really do anything that couldn't have been done by the two other super-spies in the cast, so the only reason she's there is to establish her for the Avengers. But we learn so little about her that it's entirely pointless, since she has no personality or motivation or backstory at all. If she just showed up in the Avengers and Nick Fury said "This is the Black Widow, our best agent," it would have the exact same effect. Plus, since we all know they really wanted to cast Emily Blunt but couldn't get her, why didn't they just leave the character out until they could cast the actress they wanted?
2. Tony Stark has to reconcile with his dad, who is dead, so obviously a high priority. Remember that part in the first movie where Tony talked wistfully about his old man? I guess that was bullshit, since here Tony talks about how distant and at-odds they were. I guess daddy issues weren't covered by every other sci-fi hero out there.
3. Tony Stark is dying because the element he uses to power his heart thing is poisoning him. And I guess he can't just get surgery to take out the shrapnel or put in a magnet. So you'd think there'd be scenes where Tony wants to go out and fight evil, but he can't because using the Iron Man armor would kill him. Thus there'd be a race against time to cure himself so he can stop the forces of evil. But no, the poisoning just gives him a rash.
Eventually, Tony manages to create a new element, which cures him. I'm pretty sure this is only in the movie because...
Executive: Everyone liked the scene in the first movie where Tony built stuff. Let's have him build something else!
Screenwriter: But Tony's already built his armor. Why else would he need?
Executive: I don't know, just make sure he spends ten minutes with construction tools.
So he does.
4. Tony makes Pepper CEO of Stark Enterprises, but she quits in the end, making this kinda like a sitcom episode where someone ends up being a milkman for a day. And somehow they fall in love. Literally, them kissing comes out of nowhere and then Tony's talking about how he has a steady girlfriend now. Wouldn't it be more interesting if they started the movie in a relationship and then their relationship had to cope with Tony being Tony?
5. Ivan Vanko's dad was ripped off by Tony Stark's dad, so he wants to get revenge. Which is a pretty vague motivation. Tony doesn't give a shit about his dad, so why should we? Plus, it makes Vanko into just a bruiser with a grudge. Not exactly Big Bad territory.
6. Justin Hammer is a weapons designer who has a kind of Mozart-Salieri relationship with Tony. Only Salieri had to work his ass off to do what came effortlessly to Mozart, thus the resentment, while Hammer is just a hack. People talk about the movie having too many villains, but really it's that both of them are weak. Hammer's a boob and Vanko's a thug. If they kill Tony, so what? Hammer will sell weapons to the US military and Vanko will drink vodka.
Also, isn't it a bit odd to cast SAM ROCKWELL as a hopeless schmuck? He's constantly doing all this cool, funny, geek chic stuff and everyone just gives him blank stares. It makes them look a bit priggish. Wouldn't it be better if Hammer were a real rival who just couldn't manage to eclipse Tony, no matter how hard he tried? He'd practice his 'charisma routine' in the mirror for hours, but then Tony makes an off-the-cuff remark that completely sinks his battleship. You could even make him a bit sympathetic, since the movie knows that Tony is a jerkass and Hammer is the guy who resents Tony being a jerkass.
7. Rhodey is increasingly disillusioned with Tony, and eventually becomes War Machine.
8. The US government wants the Iron Man armor, but Tony won't give it to them.
9. Did you hear there's going to be an Avengers movie?
Any one of those could be the A-plot, but they all wind up as filler while we wait for Vanko to build a bunch of robots to kill Tony. Literally, Hammer and Vanko spend almost the entire movie arguing about a bird. You'd think Hammer could be using his resources to bankrupt Tony or something.
It's just frustrating how resolutely "one thumb up" this movie is. Did they not give Favreau enough time to put together a good story? I would rather have a great movie a few months from now then a good movie right this instant. If they'd just let go of one of those plot points up there, the whole story would benefit from it. It's not having a lot of stuff that makes a sequel great, it's how it all ties together to become more than the sum of its parts. Terminator 2 doubles the amount of Terminators, but they all serve the story. Terminator Salvation has twenty different kind of Terminator, but they're all shit. When you're making a sequel, the question shouldn't be "Can I fit this in?" but "Will this hurt the story?" Look up. This story has nine different plots. How can you delve into nine plots in two hours? You can't.
