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seriousficIt's a fact of life that comics fans have a special section of the brain, unused in those who don't see the significance of four colors, that is specifically devoted to fan-casting characters. It's instinctive. You watch Flags Of Our Fathers, you see Ryan Phillipe, you immediately think "Captain America!" In fact, if a lithe Asian teenager went up to the average comic book geek, threw him onto a bed, took off his pants, and then stripped naked, all without saying a word, his first comment would be "You'd make a great Cass Cain." Then he'd say that Barbara Gordon was a much better Batgirl. Damn Silver Ageists.
So here is one more example of this sad waste of creativity. If you think "Evel Knievel" when you hear "daredevil," feel free to move on, and here's your review of last week's Smallville:
Chloe designed a defense system which would lock in whoever was in the Clocktower and cut off their oxygen. There was no way for her to disable it. It was made to go off if someone tried to hack the system. So, basically, the next time Chloe tries to download an MP3, she will die.
Alexander Skarsgård as Matt Murdock
Is there anyone who watched Generation Kill and didn't think "This guy should play a superhero"? After he inexplicably missed out on Captain America and Thor (the former so the producers could get a native-born American like Chris Evans, in a convincing argument for cheap foreign labor), it's time to snatch this guy up before he ends up in one of the shitty superhero movies Fox makes to keep a copyright. If we don't hurry, he could end up playing a Liefeld character!
Anyway, I gave some thought to starting the story in media res, with all the characters well-established and then trusting the public consciousness to fill in the backstory (like the Batman and Superman movies have done), but unfortunately the last Daredevil movie was so forgettable that I can only recall inserting Coolio into the movie made it better. Inexplicable.
(Although, for the record, Jon Hamm as Matt and Sophie Marceau as Elektra. Maybe Monica Belucci.)
Probably a better bet would be to adapt Miller's Man Without Fear with some slight alterations, and with most of the cast as attractive thirtysomethings. On that note...
Patton Oswalt as Foggy Nelson
Hard choice here, as it seems like there's very few cuddly fat funny guys in their thirties. Jon Favreau is neat, and probably actually the best piece of casting from that Ben Affleck thing, but not good enough to avoid cutting all ties. Jonah Hill is a bit too young. Jack Black is just... no. It would be weird.
Oswalt's still a bit old, but I think it would work. Best part: Two minute monologue where he complains about getting stuck in traffic because of the Avengers.
Olga Kurylenko as Elektra
Also hard, because anyone would be equally better than Jennifer Garner, and there are a lot of actresses who are in their 30s, have dark hair, and speak in a sexy accent. How hard would it be to get Milla Jovovich or Jolene Blalock and put them in a red get-up? But it helps that girlfriend is fierce.
Philip Seymour Hoffman as Kingpin
So easy. You guys. Did you see Mission Impossible 3? Dude. I'm pretty sure his entire characterization was written on a napkin, a WET napkin, but he made it work like a black dress. He looks like he's spent six months on a couch watching FX and eating Cheetos, yet you still buy that he can smack Tom Cruise around. Acting! Genius!
And hey, since this is the mildly sympathetic Kingpin who is doing it all for his wife, you might as well get someone who can do pathos in-between ordering men in spandex to kill others.
Walton Goggins as Bullseye
This is hard because Bullseye doesn't have that many defining traits. He's a Complete Monster, and really more interesting as an abstract idea (how do you deal with unrepentant evil?) than as a character in his own right. He doesn't even have an origin. Thanks, Kevin Smith! So for a while I was thinking just get a stock villain character to do his thing. Jackie Earle Haley, Robert Knepper, anyone from England... but c'mon, you've got to give it up for Walton Goggins. I mean, have you seen Justified?
Clearly, the man needs to stop playing psycho hillbillies and start playing a psycho from an unspecified part of the country. Although if he wants to use a Southern accent, that's fine too. Bonus: He could invest Bullseye with just a pinch of humanity during the character's bout with brain cancer. Which would make you hate him all the more when he turns around and kills a puppy with a straw. And I'm sure he could have some fun with playing a character who can kill anyone with anything.
So here is one more example of this sad waste of creativity. If you think "Evel Knievel" when you hear "daredevil," feel free to move on, and here's your review of last week's Smallville:
Chloe designed a defense system which would lock in whoever was in the Clocktower and cut off their oxygen. There was no way for her to disable it. It was made to go off if someone tried to hack the system. So, basically, the next time Chloe tries to download an MP3, she will die.
Alexander Skarsgård as Matt Murdock
Is there anyone who watched Generation Kill and didn't think "This guy should play a superhero"? After he inexplicably missed out on Captain America and Thor (the former so the producers could get a native-born American like Chris Evans, in a convincing argument for cheap foreign labor), it's time to snatch this guy up before he ends up in one of the shitty superhero movies Fox makes to keep a copyright. If we don't hurry, he could end up playing a Liefeld character!
Anyway, I gave some thought to starting the story in media res, with all the characters well-established and then trusting the public consciousness to fill in the backstory (like the Batman and Superman movies have done), but unfortunately the last Daredevil movie was so forgettable that I can only recall inserting Coolio into the movie made it better. Inexplicable.
(Although, for the record, Jon Hamm as Matt and Sophie Marceau as Elektra. Maybe Monica Belucci.)
Probably a better bet would be to adapt Miller's Man Without Fear with some slight alterations, and with most of the cast as attractive thirtysomethings. On that note...
Patton Oswalt as Foggy Nelson
Hard choice here, as it seems like there's very few cuddly fat funny guys in their thirties. Jon Favreau is neat, and probably actually the best piece of casting from that Ben Affleck thing, but not good enough to avoid cutting all ties. Jonah Hill is a bit too young. Jack Black is just... no. It would be weird.
Oswalt's still a bit old, but I think it would work. Best part: Two minute monologue where he complains about getting stuck in traffic because of the Avengers.
Olga Kurylenko as Elektra
Also hard, because anyone would be equally better than Jennifer Garner, and there are a lot of actresses who are in their 30s, have dark hair, and speak in a sexy accent. How hard would it be to get Milla Jovovich or Jolene Blalock and put them in a red get-up? But it helps that girlfriend is fierce.
Philip Seymour Hoffman as Kingpin
So easy. You guys. Did you see Mission Impossible 3? Dude. I'm pretty sure his entire characterization was written on a napkin, a WET napkin, but he made it work like a black dress. He looks like he's spent six months on a couch watching FX and eating Cheetos, yet you still buy that he can smack Tom Cruise around. Acting! Genius!
And hey, since this is the mildly sympathetic Kingpin who is doing it all for his wife, you might as well get someone who can do pathos in-between ordering men in spandex to kill others.
Walton Goggins as Bullseye
This is hard because Bullseye doesn't have that many defining traits. He's a Complete Monster, and really more interesting as an abstract idea (how do you deal with unrepentant evil?) than as a character in his own right. He doesn't even have an origin. Thanks, Kevin Smith! So for a while I was thinking just get a stock villain character to do his thing. Jackie Earle Haley, Robert Knepper, anyone from England... but c'mon, you've got to give it up for Walton Goggins. I mean, have you seen Justified?
Clearly, the man needs to stop playing psycho hillbillies and start playing a psycho from an unspecified part of the country. Although if he wants to use a Southern accent, that's fine too. Bonus: He could invest Bullseye with just a pinch of humanity during the character's bout with brain cancer. Which would make you hate him all the more when he turns around and kills a puppy with a straw. And I'm sure he could have some fun with playing a character who can kill anyone with anything.
Crackity-Crack
Date: 2010-05-07 06:07 am (UTC)Portly!Nia Vardalos as Elektra. (Eh! still better than Garner I say)
John Goodman as Kingpin...played like Homer Simpson!
Did I just make your head explode?
Jokes aside, I say go for newcomers (stuntmen turn actors?) with LOTS of martial arts and parkour experience, not just a few month of intensive training. Don't use too much CGI. Minimum wire work during fights. Use the wire work for the BIG stunts when DD swings about. Or redo Ong Bak with Tony Jaa in a red jumpsuit, whatever.