Writer's Block: Bite Me

[seriousfic]

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Ivy Tamwood. Although I hold no illusions how well it would work out...

Ivy: That was great. Thanks for letting me drink your blood.

Me: No problem. Thanks for letting me... with the boobs?

Ivy: You know, Rachel never let me drink her blood.

Me: Oh, she was your old partner, right?

Ivy: Yeah. Of course, she was a total blood slut with Kisten. I could just tell.

Me: Uh-huh. Hey, you wanna solve a mystery pertaining to some hitherfore undiscussed species of supernatural beings?

Ivy: Did you know she once let Kisten bite her?

Me: So, uh, I'll call you?

Ivy: UNF RACHEL! *SCHLICK SCHLICK SCHLICK*

That's the problem with vampires. Always getting hung up on people. "Oh, my forbidden love is a Slayer/werewolf/straight person! Oh, how could she ever love a vile vampire like me? Oh, she's really the reincarnation of my lost love from back in the day!" They live forever, you'd think they could learn to move on.

ETA: Dracula's Daughter: Underrated. Although I'll admit, she's no Bride of Frankenstein. And the father-in-law jokes would get old. And you'd have to shy away from some conversations...

Me: You know, I don't care what the critics say, Van Helsing wasn't the worst thing ever put to film.

Dracula's Daughter: VAN HELSING! *hisses, turns into bat, flies around*

Me: Geez! Can we at least agree it was kind of like the Castlevania movie we would've liked to see as kids?