Fanfic Trope of the Day: Betaing

[seriousfic]

According to recent meta, fanfiction is a queer experience. After all, it's women writing stuff that then gets other women aroused. Thus the racy scene in the next Debbie Does Dallas movie in which Jenna Jameson and Asia Carrera co-write a McShep fic. Oh, you extend that metaphor all the way down, Jenna. Erase that typo hard, dirty girl. Parse her, parse her, parse her so hard it feels like you're splitting her infinitive!

Ahem.

So if fanfiction is sex, betas are the condoms. They let you have fun while stopping you from spreading your writerly STDs out into the general population, resulting in unattractive sores and evil overlords saying "kil tehm!" A good beta acts like a ribbed condom with boysenberry flavor... it works for her pleasure and it makes your balls smell like pie. A bad beta rips and causes an accident you have to put through college. Sorry you can't go to the prom, you're a teenage dad.

In case you're wondering, birth control pills are your word processor's spellcheck, although it feels more like the rhythm method when it comes to homophones.

Comments

[rocaw.livejournal.com]

Brilliant. But this:

A good beta acts like a ribbed condom with boysenberry flavor... it works for her pleasure and it makes your balls smell like pie.

Made me spit out my drink. *goes back to cleaning desk and screen*