You're the best around/nothing's gonna ever keep you down!

[seriousfic]

The theatre I worked for saved a lot of money by saying they were showing Never Back Down, and then just playing an old reel of Karate Kid. No one noticed the difference.

Whenever I've seen the trailer for the new Clive Barker movie coming out, the audience will generally sit in its usual silence for all the stuff about the serial killer, then the title comes up... Midnight Meat Train... and laughter breaks out. I mean, seriously, they couldn't think of a better name for their movie? Midnight Meat Train sounds like a song from the soundtrack to a seventies porn movie.

"Girl... tell the conductor... the midnight meat train is pulling into the station... awww yeah... it's g'wan in the tunnel, baby, yeah!... I got my ticket in my pants, let me reach in and... take it out, yeah!... midnight meat train... baby, yeah... let's go for a ride... yeah... my midnight meat train... yeah, girl... midnight meat train..."

And that whole white male power structure should be brought down for no other reason than Jet Li and Jackie Chan are finally starring in a movie together, and... it's as mystical negros for some kid from Boston so he can learn kung-fu and fulfill his destiny and get the girl and yaaaaaawn. I don't care about that! How can Hollywood see Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker together and go "buddy movie!", then look at Jackie Chan and Jet Li and say "sidekicks to that guy from Sky High!" Bullshit. I call bullshit.