Dear nerds, geeks, and horndogs of all creed...

[seriousfic]

Stop dream-casting Megan Fox as Wonder Woman.

I get it. Really, I do. Megan Fox is pretty much the hottest woman in the world (sorry, Angelina Jolie, try having more than -2% body fat) and Wonder Woman is the hottest superheroine in comics... perfect casting, right?

Sigh.

Remember the last time this happened? Okay, fine, I'll remind you. I'm sorry it came to this:



Yeah. Take a good long look. I won't even bring up Halle Berry as Storm OR Catwoman.

The point is, whoever they cast is going to be ridiculously good-looking. It's Hollywood, they're not going to cast Margaret fucking Cho. But there are ridiculously good-looking women who can act. (Not that Halle Berry can't act... ahem... but she makes about as convincing an action heroine as I do.) Now, I'm not saying Megan Fox can't act, but what about her screams Wonder Woman? Other than the cleavage, which is awe-inspiring? Exactly. She's Wonder Girl AT BEST.

Instead, I suggest we cast Megan Fox as Wonder Woman's girlfriend, Io, and include a scene where Io disguises herself as Wonder Woman to serve as a decoy while Diana escapes. So we've got Megan Fox in a Wonder Woman costume, PLUS Megan Fox and Wonder Woman making out, and whoever is awesome enough to play Wondy. So there's hot GOGA, there's a positive representation of homosexuality/bisexuality in the media, we can use the movie to find Skrulls (they'll be the guys complaining that Steve Trevor should be Diana's love interest)... EVERYBODY WINS.

Plus, Io canonically wears nothing but a leather apron and pants most of the time.

Thank you for your time, internet perverts, and once again, sorry for reminding you of Movie!Sue.

Comments

[prozacpark.livejournal.com]

Megan Fox is pretty much the hottest woman in the world.

Um. Helen of Troy begs to differ. A lot.

[mcity.livejournal.com]

I tried to imagine Ms. Fox lifting weights, and I could almost hear her tiny little bones snap. I don't see why they don't just give over and cast Lucy Lawless.

[http://users.livejournal.com/thrace_/]

If Gina Carano could act, I'd actually cast her as Io. But sadly, she cannot. She is terrible. Tragedy.

[hamartian.livejournal.com]

I'll second both the call to use Lucy Lawless instead and the call to have Io in the film.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

I don't see why they don't just give over and cast Lucy Lawless.

I think she's a little old at this point. If you're doing an origin story, Diana can't come to Man's World as much higher than thirty. Otherwise her naivete is going to get old fast.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Fine, hottest woman in the world currently alive.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. Is she at least good enough to play herself and cameo as Big Barda and be endearingly bad, like Arnold Schwarzenegger?

[milleniumrex.livejournal.com]

I like your ideas and wish to subscribe to your dirty newsletter.

I struggle to find a good casting choice to play Wonder Woman, though. This one has always escaped me.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

I've got one that I think is pretty great, so I'm going to do a picspam pretty soon.

[mcity.livejournal.com]

Curse you, reality!

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Plus, I think she's a little too butch, maybe? (Cue my crucifixion.) Diana strikes me as more of a classical beauty. Lawless would probably make a better Artemis.

[mcity.livejournal.com]

Okay, then, Tricia Helf-ow! Ow! I'm kidding!

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

BTW, I saw Star Trek and now I kinda ship Rachel Nichols' character with Kirk.

[prozacpark.livejournal.com]

You must tell me how much of Rachel Nichols is there? Because she'll be the only reason I'll see that movie, if I see it at all. Am not a Star Trek fan on account of never having seen any of it ever.

[prozacpark.livejournal.com]

Everyone knows Helen of Troy is immortal. So she is, in fact, still alive.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

She's only in one scene, unfortunately, but it's a fun scene and you know you're gonna watch it.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Then how do you know Megan Fox isn't Helen of Troy?

[prozacpark.livejournal.com]

Not for just a scene! I'm not even watching "Wolverine" for the five minutes of EMMA FROST. I'll have to Youtube both when time is right.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

That actually could work, because she has the acting chops and she can do fight scenes (from what little action she has in BSG). Plus, she has the right kind of "Diana" beauty, very elegant and regal. Not that there's anything wrong with being young and hell-bent for leather like Megan Fox or butch and a little scary like Lucy Lawless, but it's important we keep these things straight.

[prozacpark.livejournal.com]

Helen of Tory, I'm sure, will be hotter than the hotness of Eliza Dushku, Sherilyn Fenn, and Alexa Davalos combined. Megan Fox? Not it.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

She's an Orion Animal Woman. In STARFLEET.

And I'll thank you not to refer to... that character in Wolverine... as Emma Frost.

[prozacpark.livejournal.com]

And I'll thank you not to refer to... that character in Wolverine... as Emma Frost.

Direct that rage at Marvel, please. :)

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Are you even into women? Because if not...

[prozacpark.livejournal.com]

Meh. I'll ask you again after the world has gotten over Megan Fox. I, in fact, shun your mainstream-ness.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

You know what else is mainstream? Pizza. You gonna tell me my buffalo chicken pizza with ranch dipping sauce is gonna go out of style? No.

Meanwhile, you counterculture types get to watch Joss Whedon's slow decline into misogynistic mediocrity. WHERE'S YOUR SAVIOR NOW?