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Teevee? Teevee
Aug. 13th, 2013 01:24 am-True Blood, did you seriously spend half your episode having a funeral for Terry? I suppose people were asking for characterization and realism, but God, the glurge. It felt like someone was hitting me with a cartoon mallet and going “feel sad, dammnit! An adorable saint with the heart of a superhero has died!” And, I might’ve felt someone if Terry hadn’t been, in his own way, a bigger douche than Alcide for at least two seasons. First, it’s revealed that when in Iraq, he murdered an innocent woman in cold blood. Then, when her angry spirit came after him and said “I’m either taking you or your Army buddy,” he killed his Army buddy. Fair enough, even with the show unnecessarily trying to get viewers on the side of the long-standing character by making the other guy a racist fuckwit. But then Terry, who has killed a man with his own wife and child simply to stay alive, decides to off himself. What a dick move. That’s like robbing a charity, then saying “Nah, I don’t want the money” and burning it. At least buy a fucking RC car or something.
-Okay, I’m not saying the psychologist didn’t deserve to die, since he did condone and participate in an extremely tasteless concentration camp metaphor. But does it really track to shove him into a rape-revenge plot when Pam, completely of her own free will, was the one who explicitly seduced him? A plot which really had no pay-off except for Pam getting said revenge, and not even inventively or on-camera. C’mon, True Blood, didn’t you have any other WIP cliches to go through?
-I am darkly amused that Pam spends more time ironically dancing with her murder victim than with Tara. HOW DOES SHOW DO LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS?
-I remind you; they were both in women’s prison. This shit should’ve written itself.
-Man, Bill, that was a lot of effort just to stop a dozen people from burning to death. You probably could’ve just flown up there, through the partially open sun-roof, and stopped Sarah, then closed it. Or called in some other vampires to help attack the place. I was assuming that the reason they didn’t do that was because Camp Vampire (Campire?) was in a top-secret location, but apparently not? Is there any vampire hierarchy left? I thought it went something like Authority > Nan Flanagan > King > Sheriff > Random douchebags. I know the Authority all died out, but isn’t there, like, a twelfth person in line to take the big chair? Shouldn’t a Vampire Laura Roslin be in charge by now? And aren’t there any more fanatically loyal human soldiers to help out if a daytime assault is called for? If they balk at attacking a government facility—unlikely, given all the criminal acts your average vamp henchmen must see and do—then just Glamour them to kamikaze the place. It’s not like everyone involved hasn’t done worse.
-Human Doctor: Please, Vampire Bill, kill me and put me out of my misery!
Bill: Did you hurt Jessica?
Human Doctor: Yup!
Bill: Then I will kill you!
Human Doctor: Thanks!
Bill: No, I’m killing you! Like a badass!
Human Doctor: But I want you to? And honestly, a boot through the skull seems like a pretty quick way to die. You’re really just subtracting from the amount of suffering I’m going through.
Bill: Look, I… holy crap, is that your penis on the ground? Ahh, sick, dude! How come we can’t show the dick on a handsome guy, but we can show one lying on the floor after it’s been gorily ripped off? How does that work?
-And on Under The Dome—for all of you had “one-half of the kindly lesbian couple” in the first to die sweepstakes, please collect your winnings. Due to the high volume of betting on this choice, your lottery comes to .57 cents.
-This might be the only show I can remember where the people urging unity and community in a crisis are the evil psychopaths, while angry, bitter loners are the real heroes. I’m not sure if someone’s trying to make a point or is just bad at writing.
-Look, I’m not saying Laura is the worst cop on television, but the guy whose only experience in police work is locking his girlfriend in a fallout shelter for a week is doing a better job. Laputis would be so disappointed.
-I’m not one to slut-shame, but damn, Julia, your beloved husband “ran off,” what, two weeks ago? I’m just saying, it is way too early to pay off that “sexual tension” (read: pretty people being within a car length of each other).
-Then again, this is the show where, within twenty-four hours of the Dome coming down, a police officer went crazy and nearly got everyone shot. I’m pretty sure at the end of the month, there’ll be incest and cannibalism. Season 4 is going to be ‘Under the Thunderdome.’
-It’s episode eight of “Nori’s-Eyebrow-Watch” and still no news. Seriously, what does that girl pluck with, a laser beam?
-Are we really doing the fucking thing where the Dome is the Island from Lost and it’s alive and it does nice things and bad things and oh, what does it want, what does it want? Because you know all these fucking things do is random shit that never even makes sense at the end of the series, when you find out what it’s end goal is. You might as well call it, right now: The Dome is Loki and everything it does is him saying “I do what I want, Thor”. Start a rainstorm to stop a riot? Loki being a little shit. Causing a woman to give birth prematurely? Loki being a little shit. It’s as good an explanation as any.
-Okay, I’m not saying the psychologist didn’t deserve to die, since he did condone and participate in an extremely tasteless concentration camp metaphor. But does it really track to shove him into a rape-revenge plot when Pam, completely of her own free will, was the one who explicitly seduced him? A plot which really had no pay-off except for Pam getting said revenge, and not even inventively or on-camera. C’mon, True Blood, didn’t you have any other WIP cliches to go through?
-I am darkly amused that Pam spends more time ironically dancing with her murder victim than with Tara. HOW DOES SHOW DO LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS?
-I remind you; they were both in women’s prison. This shit should’ve written itself.
-Man, Bill, that was a lot of effort just to stop a dozen people from burning to death. You probably could’ve just flown up there, through the partially open sun-roof, and stopped Sarah, then closed it. Or called in some other vampires to help attack the place. I was assuming that the reason they didn’t do that was because Camp Vampire (Campire?) was in a top-secret location, but apparently not? Is there any vampire hierarchy left? I thought it went something like Authority > Nan Flanagan > King > Sheriff > Random douchebags. I know the Authority all died out, but isn’t there, like, a twelfth person in line to take the big chair? Shouldn’t a Vampire Laura Roslin be in charge by now? And aren’t there any more fanatically loyal human soldiers to help out if a daytime assault is called for? If they balk at attacking a government facility—unlikely, given all the criminal acts your average vamp henchmen must see and do—then just Glamour them to kamikaze the place. It’s not like everyone involved hasn’t done worse.
-Human Doctor: Please, Vampire Bill, kill me and put me out of my misery!
Bill: Did you hurt Jessica?
Human Doctor: Yup!
Bill: Then I will kill you!
Human Doctor: Thanks!
Bill: No, I’m killing you! Like a badass!
Human Doctor: But I want you to? And honestly, a boot through the skull seems like a pretty quick way to die. You’re really just subtracting from the amount of suffering I’m going through.
Bill: Look, I… holy crap, is that your penis on the ground? Ahh, sick, dude! How come we can’t show the dick on a handsome guy, but we can show one lying on the floor after it’s been gorily ripped off? How does that work?
-And on Under The Dome—for all of you had “one-half of the kindly lesbian couple” in the first to die sweepstakes, please collect your winnings. Due to the high volume of betting on this choice, your lottery comes to .57 cents.
-This might be the only show I can remember where the people urging unity and community in a crisis are the evil psychopaths, while angry, bitter loners are the real heroes. I’m not sure if someone’s trying to make a point or is just bad at writing.
-Look, I’m not saying Laura is the worst cop on television, but the guy whose only experience in police work is locking his girlfriend in a fallout shelter for a week is doing a better job. Laputis would be so disappointed.
-I’m not one to slut-shame, but damn, Julia, your beloved husband “ran off,” what, two weeks ago? I’m just saying, it is way too early to pay off that “sexual tension” (read: pretty people being within a car length of each other).
-Then again, this is the show where, within twenty-four hours of the Dome coming down, a police officer went crazy and nearly got everyone shot. I’m pretty sure at the end of the month, there’ll be incest and cannibalism. Season 4 is going to be ‘Under the Thunderdome.’
-It’s episode eight of “Nori’s-Eyebrow-Watch” and still no news. Seriously, what does that girl pluck with, a laser beam?
-Are we really doing the fucking thing where the Dome is the Island from Lost and it’s alive and it does nice things and bad things and oh, what does it want, what does it want? Because you know all these fucking things do is random shit that never even makes sense at the end of the series, when you find out what it’s end goal is. You might as well call it, right now: The Dome is Loki and everything it does is him saying “I do what I want, Thor”. Start a rainstorm to stop a riot? Loki being a little shit. Causing a woman to give birth prematurely? Loki being a little shit. It’s as good an explanation as any.
