The internet's relation to science: a brief summary

Scientists: Life began this long ago and in this way.

Internet: Woo! Yeah! That's what should be taught in schools! Anyone who disagrees is an idiot!

Scientists: Man's pollution is causing global climate change.

Internet: Of course! Science, fuck yeah! Science, it's just awesome! Bill Nye!

Scientists: To ensure this cosmetics product is safe, we need to test it on animals.

Internet: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. We believed you about the origin of all life, but I think we're the experts when it comes to cute animals.

It's a toss-up

So I was thinking about Batman at work today. After TDKR, there are really two choices.

1. A soft reboot, a la when James Bond gets a new actor. A new director and Batman show up, but for all intents and purposes the Nolan films are still in continuity. This could work--as rampant internet speculation has proven, there are some good Batvillains left that could survive Nolanization--Riddler and Hugo Strange spring to mind. But it's a little tame compared to

2. Hard reboot. Nolan films never happened. I could actually get excited for this, as long as they don't go the Amazing Spider-Man route and just redo Batman Begins beat for beat with a "new" supervillain. ("No, it's got Killer Croc, totally different movie!") Because there are some choices that the Nolan films made that, while creatively valid, could be done differently enough to warrant a reboot.

Like Harvey Dent. To put it simply, in the comics, Harvey was Bruce's friend. In the movie, Harvey is someone Bruce admires. TDK is about an incorruptible man being corrupted, while the comics are about a man on the brink who goes over the edge. So it would be interesting to get that Bruce/Harvey/Gordon team-up from Year One that we never really got from the movies.

Here's my theory: Any Hush story you care to name would be better if it were about Two-Face. We start off with Harvey Dent suspicious of Batman, confiding his fears about vigilantism to Bruce, who uses their friendship to vouch for Batman ("Actually, Harv, I met the Batman at a party once..."). After Harvey is disfigured because of Bat-shenanigans, Harvey blames Bruce and sets up a massive plot against his life, like in the "Year Two" stories where Harvey amassed the coming supervillains of Gotham into a mob (You know what never gets old, Jeph Loeb? A hero's entire rogue's gallery showing up at once!).

And here's where things tie in with what I would want from any non-Nolan Batfilms--the Batfamily. After Bruce's partnership with Harvey ends up driving him insane, Bruce has good reason to be reluctant to take on allies, rather than just being a grouch. It'd take someone like Cass Cain--a person who, like Bruce, pretty much can't have a normal life, they have to be given a cause just to avoid self-destructing--to pull him out of his death wish. Bruce could save Cass while Batgirl saves Batman.

This could also work with a character like Huntress or Batwoman, since Bruce accepting an adult ally is a lot more reasonable than him turning a grieving orphan into a soldier. I know, I rant about having to accept silliness, but seriously, the entire Robin concept got grandfathered into modern comics something fierce. Objectively, it really is that silly.

And now I want a story where Harvey's disfigured, goes mad, gets assigned Hugo Strange as his psychiatrist, Strange goes mad, uses Harvey's knowledge and psychosis against Batman. Get me Cronenberg on the phone, we'll make the most shower-inducing Batman movie ever!

I take it back

Zoe Saldena and Megan Fox in a heist movie? "The project came out of a desire by Fox and Saldana to do a movie together"?

THAT is the sound of all the lesbians in the world high-fiving at once.

Femslashers, this is our Legend of Korra. I vote we start pre-slashing, uh... Georgina, and, err... Ms. Black.