Here is a treat for you all

It's a review of an unproduced script for a Black Widow movie, written by Solid Snake. Aaaaaaaaand I'm joined by Alex of Fuckyeahblackwidow, to discuss motherhood, canon, desexualization, and spy bars. Join us, won't you?

Pop quiz: The Doctor Who movie turns the Doctor into an American, but he's black.

What kind of washing is that?

So yeah, Yates, reboot, probably very few British accents. Honestly, I can't get too worked up. I feel sorta like Alan Moore when they were making a Watchmen movie, just with less voodoo curses. The real Doctor Who is still going to be on the TV (or "telly," if you will), so who cares if some idiots are making a big fan film? It probably won't be nearly as corrosive as the preteen girls who learn alllll about Doctor Who from a summer blockbuster and decide it's totally 'moe' or whatever (no offense to prexisting preteen Doctor Who fangirls; you've paid your way by being aware of Doctor Who in the first place. Now please stop shipping Doctor/Rose, it's been eons).

Newbie: OMG I just watched Doctor Who: Origins: Rise Of The Daleks and it was the best movie ever! I came up with the best love interest ever for the Doctor, who I like to call Doccy! Her name is Renesmee Valeria Excalibur and she's a Time Lord too!

(Ship war) veterans: All the Time Lords are dead. It's Tuesday, so the Doctor is asexual. If you wait until Thursday, he'll be gay for the Master. GOOD DAY.

Also, call me crazy, because I am aware that you need a name actor and such, so "this guy from this thing and a girl who is hot but who hasn't been in anything" won't cut it, but wouldn't it be much simpler to keep the Matt Smith Doctor and introduce a new, one-time-only American companion, probably played by Brendan Fraiser, to do the punching end of the bromance, since every American movie needs a bromance. And then he learns about the Doctor, which is actually pretty simple depending on the story being told (yes, it's complicated if you're getting into the Silence and the Daleks and all thunder, but basically: alien, looks human, travels through time, here to help. Maybe include the Master, same alien as the Doctor, wants to do evil. But you really only have to get into what's pertinent to the story. Did the LOTR movies explain all about Gandalf or did they just leave it at "He's a powerful wizard, on we go!").

By doing a reboot, you're sort of obliging yourself to explain everything in one go, or worse yet, doing an origin story, rather than leaving it to the manual. God help them if they want us to play a "Help the Doctor leave Gallifrey!" ARG...