It could be called "Read my Apokolips"

After watching the trailer to What's Your Number?, I actually really want a raunchy Scott/Barda romantic comedy. You know, there's a truce between Apokolips and New Genesis, Barda is bored, she and Scott get to talking, and suddenly Barda makes it her mission to get Scott laid. And there's scenes of her trying to get him to use pick-up techniques on heroines and Scott going on a disastrous date with Poison Ivy and Barda starting to realize that she really doesn't like the idea of him having sex with anyone but her. The Female Furies could be the female friends every rom-com needs. Melissa McCarthy could be Stompa, Anne Faris could be Mad Harriet, one of them could be the sassy gay friend and they could all drink mai tais and dance around to Pink songs...

Damian Wayne could be the precocious little kid who gives love advice to the grown-ups. Because Big Barda is the only person in existence who would take love advice from Damian Wayne. "Yes, I should tell him he looks fat... he would appreciate my letting him know that..."

Commentary track commentary

So on the first Resident Evil, I'm pretty sure the commentary track has better dialogue than the actual movie. Michelle Rodriguez jokes about torturing dogs with fireworks and everyone else side-eyes her and she has to go "No, I was kidding, I cried watching Bambi for God's sake!"

Fact: Milla Jovovich is a sixteen-year-old girl ("Who cares about that, I just showed a nipple!") and Michelle Rodriguez is really a twelve-year-old boy, constantly berating Paul Anderson about the lack of gore. It's pretty great, actually. I kinda wish Michelle Rodriguez would be on every commentary track, complaining about movies pussying out and being unfaithful to the source material ("I couldn't get into X-Men for the first three watches because the costumes were so different from the comic.")

Then in Resident Evil: Apocalypse (note: there is no apocalypse in the movie, but the world is apocalyptically overrun with zombies in the movie after that, Resident Evil: Extinction... in which nothing goes extinct) Milla Jovovich and Odeh Fehr are on the same commentary track with Sienna Guillory, but they obviously weren't all recorded together, because while Milla Jovovich is being a sixteen-year-old girl and Odeh Fehr is possibly high, Sienna Guillory is talking about the plausibility of the movie and the humanity and the rich symbolism. It's a laugh riot to go from Sienna Guillory talking about the irony of people taking refuge from a modern city in a church straight to Milla Jovovich talking about how her dog was traumatized by being a show dog.

Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?

I just saw a post on how using Spanish words and phrases like "el presidente" and "comprendre?" in English speech is racist. Because racist bosses used to say comprendre to Mexicans! And all the other times, it's being used by white people to mock Hispanic people. Because the only reason English speakers would use another language is to elicit schaenfreude from that culture. Otherwise, they'd use an English word with the same je ne suis que. Using Spanish words in such a blasé manner should be given the kibosh. A pogrom against words of foreign language in English, allons-y!