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Had the day off, so I went to get the plates put on my car. I am far too pleased to have 616 in my license plate number.
While I was there (it's a bit of a drive), I took in Skyline at the dollar theater. I think I overpaid by about fifty cents. It's the most ridiculous movie ever. One of the heroes is a superstar CGI animator (like, with a penthouse apartment and biyatches). It's like they saw Cloverfield and said "We can have a cast more unlikeable than them!" The hero makes, like, five "it's just crazy enough to work!" plans and all of them are not crazy enough to work. Angel Batista shows up halfway through the movie to be a far more competent, likable, and charismatic hero. He's a concierge at the hotel the (white) heroes are trapped in. What does the movie do with this intriguing racial subtext? He sacrifices himself to kill an alien for some reason. It's only mostly dead.
The best part of the film has gotta be the backstory, since I imagine this conversation had to take place at some point.
Alien 1: Quality Assurance? How's it going with testing on our superweapon?
Alien 2: Sensational! Blue light, the humans look at it, they go in, it sucks them up, boom. One or two bugs, but I don't think anyone will notice.
Alien 1: What kind of bugs?
Alien 2: Well, say someone was going to go into the light, but then someone else stopped them from being sucked into the hellish death-vortex.
Alien 1: Like by pushing them or something?
Alien 2: Yeah, like that. Well... it would give them superpowers.
Alien 1: What?
Alien 2: Yeah, they'd get a kooky rash and then develop superstrength, which they could use to beat up our elite shocktroopers with their bare hands. Just one of those things.
Alien 1: Okay, but we can still harvest their brains to power our army of unkillable hate-bots?
Alien 2: Yeah. Although why are we using our hate-bots to invade worlds, which will defend themselves and destroy our hate-bots, just to make more hate-bots? Couldn't we just keep the hate-bots we have and call it a day?
Alien 1: Brain harvesting! How about it?
Alien 2: We're good on that too! Unless someone really loves someone else. Then they could break free of the mind-controlling and use the impervious robot cruelty-body we gave them to fight us.
Alien 1: Shit. Who built this stuff?
Alien 2: We outsourced the production to Jupiter, sir.
Alien 1: Cheap green-skinned bastards. No wonder it doesn't work!
Alien 2: I don't appreciate your space hipster racism, sir. My mother was from Jupiter.
While I was there (it's a bit of a drive), I took in Skyline at the dollar theater. I think I overpaid by about fifty cents. It's the most ridiculous movie ever. One of the heroes is a superstar CGI animator (like, with a penthouse apartment and biyatches). It's like they saw Cloverfield and said "We can have a cast more unlikeable than them!" The hero makes, like, five "it's just crazy enough to work!" plans and all of them are not crazy enough to work. Angel Batista shows up halfway through the movie to be a far more competent, likable, and charismatic hero. He's a concierge at the hotel the (white) heroes are trapped in. What does the movie do with this intriguing racial subtext? He sacrifices himself to kill an alien for some reason. It's only mostly dead.
The best part of the film has gotta be the backstory, since I imagine this conversation had to take place at some point.
Alien 1: Quality Assurance? How's it going with testing on our superweapon?
Alien 2: Sensational! Blue light, the humans look at it, they go in, it sucks them up, boom. One or two bugs, but I don't think anyone will notice.
Alien 1: What kind of bugs?
Alien 2: Well, say someone was going to go into the light, but then someone else stopped them from being sucked into the hellish death-vortex.
Alien 1: Like by pushing them or something?
Alien 2: Yeah, like that. Well... it would give them superpowers.
Alien 1: What?
Alien 2: Yeah, they'd get a kooky rash and then develop superstrength, which they could use to beat up our elite shocktroopers with their bare hands. Just one of those things.
Alien 1: Okay, but we can still harvest their brains to power our army of unkillable hate-bots?
Alien 2: Yeah. Although why are we using our hate-bots to invade worlds, which will defend themselves and destroy our hate-bots, just to make more hate-bots? Couldn't we just keep the hate-bots we have and call it a day?
Alien 1: Brain harvesting! How about it?
Alien 2: We're good on that too! Unless someone really loves someone else. Then they could break free of the mind-controlling and use the impervious robot cruelty-body we gave them to fight us.
Alien 1: Shit. Who built this stuff?
Alien 2: We outsourced the production to Jupiter, sir.
Alien 1: Cheap green-skinned bastards. No wonder it doesn't work!
Alien 2: I don't appreciate your space hipster racism, sir. My mother was from Jupiter.
