Movie review: The Lovely Bones

The Lovely Bones is Patch Adams. That’s what it is. It’s an aging comedian who wants to be taken seriously, and so he ends up playing to all of his weaknesses and none of his strengths. Admittedly, after the LOTR trilogy and Kign Kong, I can see how you’d run out of dream projects, but I have no idea what drew Peter Jackson to this project. If it was just the heaven visuals, surely he could’ve found a stronger story to go with it. After all, if your story is about a dead girl in heaven watching over her family, you should be able to make those seem like the same movie, right? Instead, there’s this horrid, instructive narration by Saorie Ronan that sounds more Jedi Master than teenage girl and usually just gives us the Cliff Notes of the movie as we’re fucking watching it. ( Spoilers. )

So, if you absolutely have to watch a movie about a murder victim whose ghost observes both killer and loved one, rent Ghost.