The Matrix Revolutions (the short version)

Morpheus: Alright, gang, here's the plan. Neo, you and Trinity will take Niobe's ship and fly to the Machine City. There, you'll risk your life to break through their defenses and talk to the central machine intelligence. It won't be easy. In fact, Trinity will probably die tragically... again.

Trinity: Meh, not like I've had anything better to do since the first movie.

Morpheus: During all this, the machines will have Zion under siege, so we'll race against time to get to the dock in time to detonate our EMP and save the city. Hundreds will probably die in Zion's defense, so we should leave as soon as possible.

Neo: I've got a better idea.

Neo pulls out a cell-phone and dials.

Neo: Yo, machines!

Machine: ...yes?

Neo: I hear you've got yourself an Agent Smith problem. How about you stop teabagging humanity and I'll fix it for you?

Machines: Okay.

Morpheus: Truly, he is the One.

Neo: Oh, and Bane, the only survivor of that catastrophic disaster that could only have been caused by an act of sabotage? He was acting suspiciously, so I tied him up and put him under armed guard. Turns out, he's totally Smith.

Morpheus: Whoa!

Neo: Quiet, that's my line. So, Trinity, how 'bout some Matrix sex? Or as I refer to it when I like people to wince, some Matrixxx?

Trinity: Sure thing. (plugs in) Why do I look like Monica Belucci in the Matrix?

Morpheus: Truly, he is the One!

The Matrix Revolutions is brought to you by Cingular, which guarantees you four bars even after you've slipped out of Pluto's The Cave (OMG PHILOSOPHY!!!).