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Smallville season one thoughts - Part 3
May. 10th, 2009 04:47 pmNicodemus, the canon sex pollen episode! Yes, Smallville used to be that fun on purpose. And there's still something oddly cathartic about watching Lex shoot Lana down. It's like "lady, I turned down Kelly Brook. You have the body of a 12-year-old boy. L8r."
Of course, it's not hard to imagine someone saying "Hey, the fans liked this episode! If they like people acting out-of-character once, maybe they'll like a whole season of it." The truth is, fans only like that when it leads to hardcore gay sex.
Chloe telling Clark to either stay in his loft "playing with his telescope" or get over Lana would be funnier if he weren't playing with his telescope for the next eight years. Really, what's the big appeal there? Does Lana do a song and dance after you sleep with her? Does the first guy to marry her get a million dollars? Is giving her an orgasm the only way to greenlight a Chronicles of Riddick sequel?
Jonathan's peevish attitude toward Lex is oddly bewildering, in that what seems to be a flaw (being a jerk to someone based on his family name) is later treated like a virtue, because canonically Jonathan is right all along. There's never a scene where he has to admit he was wrong about Lex and accept him. It's like having a guy spouting off about how Islam is a violent religion and you can't trust Arabs and accusing a Muslim character of being a terrorist, then the Muslim actually turns out to be a terrorist.
An order of magnitude lesser, sure, but when you take into account the gay subtext, it makes Jonathan look like a homophobic jerk. I get that they wanted an IC way to create tension between the cast, but they should've resolved it a lot sooner and positively, before the admittedly good parental interaction between Jonathan and Clark was overshadowed by this.
For the record, Lana's outfit as a sultry temptress.
Okay, either she's set on ensnaring men with her siren song or she's going to the mall. Interesting sidenote: Three out of three men reject her. Seduction: UR DOIN IT RONG! And after she gets hit with the sex pollen, her big deal is to climb a windmill. God, even on hallucinogens she's boring.
Mental mouthwash!
I just wanna, like, put marshmallows into her hot cocoa or something. Fix s'mores. Talk about contemporary portrayals of Viking versus historical fact.
Ahem.
This show really shot itself in the foot by spending more time showing Lex and Clark as suspicious as each other than as friends. It makes Lex look like a defensive wimp and Clark look like a jealous boyfriend.
They really had to Go There and have a scene where Pete Ross, a black man, gets hit by the sex pollen and starts hitting on Chloe Sullivan, a blonde woman? Then he carjacks her? I think the only way they could have made that subtext more uncomfortable would be for him to say that the Nicodemus pollen brought out his hidden desire... for KFC!
And then the crazy black guy with the gun somehow gets past Lex's security, providing the first clue of SV's increasingly lazy plotting there. At some point, did Lex's security staff ever think of locking the doors? Because that would prevent 90% of the evil plots in Smallville from being hatched.
How many shots does Pete's revolver have anyway?
Clark, did your brilliant ruse have to involve giving everyone concussions?
Of course, it's not hard to imagine someone saying "Hey, the fans liked this episode! If they like people acting out-of-character once, maybe they'll like a whole season of it." The truth is, fans only like that when it leads to hardcore gay sex.
Chloe telling Clark to either stay in his loft "playing with his telescope" or get over Lana would be funnier if he weren't playing with his telescope for the next eight years. Really, what's the big appeal there? Does Lana do a song and dance after you sleep with her? Does the first guy to marry her get a million dollars? Is giving her an orgasm the only way to greenlight a Chronicles of Riddick sequel?
Jonathan's peevish attitude toward Lex is oddly bewildering, in that what seems to be a flaw (being a jerk to someone based on his family name) is later treated like a virtue, because canonically Jonathan is right all along. There's never a scene where he has to admit he was wrong about Lex and accept him. It's like having a guy spouting off about how Islam is a violent religion and you can't trust Arabs and accusing a Muslim character of being a terrorist, then the Muslim actually turns out to be a terrorist.
An order of magnitude lesser, sure, but when you take into account the gay subtext, it makes Jonathan look like a homophobic jerk. I get that they wanted an IC way to create tension between the cast, but they should've resolved it a lot sooner and positively, before the admittedly good parental interaction between Jonathan and Clark was overshadowed by this.
For the record, Lana's outfit as a sultry temptress.
Okay, either she's set on ensnaring men with her siren song or she's going to the mall. Interesting sidenote: Three out of three men reject her. Seduction: UR DOIN IT RONG! And after she gets hit with the sex pollen, her big deal is to climb a windmill. God, even on hallucinogens she's boring.
Mental mouthwash!
I just wanna, like, put marshmallows into her hot cocoa or something. Fix s'mores. Talk about contemporary portrayals of Viking versus historical fact.
Ahem.
This show really shot itself in the foot by spending more time showing Lex and Clark as suspicious as each other than as friends. It makes Lex look like a defensive wimp and Clark look like a jealous boyfriend.
They really had to Go There and have a scene where Pete Ross, a black man, gets hit by the sex pollen and starts hitting on Chloe Sullivan, a blonde woman? Then he carjacks her? I think the only way they could have made that subtext more uncomfortable would be for him to say that the Nicodemus pollen brought out his hidden desire... for KFC!
And then the crazy black guy with the gun somehow gets past Lex's security, providing the first clue of SV's increasingly lazy plotting there. At some point, did Lex's security staff ever think of locking the doors? Because that would prevent 90% of the evil plots in Smallville from being hatched.
How many shots does Pete's revolver have anyway?
Clark, did your brilliant ruse have to involve giving everyone concussions?
