Everything is better with Barda

Scott Free was walking along one day, in the interim before escaping Apokolips and getting to Earth, when he noticed that there was a blue police box on an alien hive-world constructed entirely of mucus.

This struck him as slightly odd.

Being a knowledgable chap (and having a Mother Box to cheat off of), the temptation to (quote) ESCAPE THE TIME STREAM ITSELF!(end quote) became irresistable and he hitched a ride.

I don't know what happens after that, but I really want Parademons to attack the TARDIS. While the Doctor is technobabbling a sonic screwdriver solution, Donna takes off her shoe and hits the Parademon. In the face.

Because she's Donna, and she and Barda should probably have a talk.

Barda: So, you are the Doctor's mate?

Donna: Not on your life, sunshine! He's more of my... chauffeur. Tour guide. Friend. What about Scott? He and you... in-out, in-out?

Barda: That is a ridiculous idea! No! Not yet.

Donna: Oh. Good.

Barda: Why is that good?

Donna: No reason. Just nice to have a man around who isn't all scrawny and...

Barda: If you touch him, there is pain I can cause you.

They grow up so fast... (or Harry Potter: Gateway Drug Into Geekdom)

My little sister is outside my bedroom watching Torchwood DVDs with her friend. Note that I am not sadistic enough to watch with her, wait for a gay sex scene, and then mock her relentlessly.

Seems like only yesterday she was leaving tabs open to the Harry Potter section of Fanfiction.net...

Scarekitty wants to know if you would like to see his mask