The Punisher: War Zone
Dec. 6th, 2008 06:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seriousficOh boy.
I don't think I've seen anything this good/bad since Bad Boys 2. It has that same sublime over-the-top surreality where you don't know if you're watching a really good parody or a really bad example of what's being parodied. If it weren't for some stupid shit gumming up the works, this would be a cult classic.
Like, Jigsaw. You know going in he's going to be a loser villain (although the film doesn't help by never making him a real threat to Frank). I mean, his superpower is being really unbelievably ugly. But he has a brother, Looney Bin Jim (or LBJ, HA HA, HOW CLEVER), who is just. So. Annoying. But seeing a character actor put all his dinner theatre talent into making lines like "Yummy. Yummy. Yummy. In my tummy. Tummy. Tummy." threatening isn't as amusing as you'd think. Watch him and thank God for Heath Ledger, because without him, The Dark Knight could've been unwatchable.
Like, just for instance, Jigsaw decides he's going to recruit an army to hunt down the Punisher (that trick never works, Bullwrinkle) and LBJ asks how he's going to get one. "We'll do what the Army does: Recruit in troubled neighborhoods, offer 100K towards a college education they're never going to get, and promise they won't have to go to Iraq."
That's an okay line. If you agree with it, it's kinda witty, and if you don't, hey, it's a villain saying it. But the Battle Hymn of the Republic (!) plays in the background while Jigsaw and LBJ go to variousethnic stereotypes gangs and make their pitch in front of a video screen showing the American flag (!!!). So instead of good-bad, it ends up being painful-bad.
Ray Stevenson makes an okay Punisher, even if his American accent is a little weird at times, but he does look like he stepped right out of a Tim Bradstreet drawing. It's just that the movie tries to humanize by giving him this little girl who sees through his unshaven exterior to see that he's really a good guy at heart and blah blah dismissive wank motion. It's just, cut the melodrama and get to the next ridiculously gory action scene.
I'm not kidding. If Jason Voorhees uses guns instead of a machete, he'd be Ray Stevenson's Punisher.
Oh, and this is a better comedy than... The Love Guru. How else can you explain the jaw-dropping hilarity of an exchange like...
Dying Ally Who Frank At First Disliked But Has Come To Respect And, Indeed, Love: See you in Hell.
Punisher: If I see you anywhere near Hell, I'll kick your ass back up.
Hell, that's funnier than anything TobeyMaguire!Spidey has ever said.
I don't think I've seen anything this good/bad since Bad Boys 2. It has that same sublime over-the-top surreality where you don't know if you're watching a really good parody or a really bad example of what's being parodied. If it weren't for some stupid shit gumming up the works, this would be a cult classic.
Like, Jigsaw. You know going in he's going to be a loser villain (although the film doesn't help by never making him a real threat to Frank). I mean, his superpower is being really unbelievably ugly. But he has a brother, Looney Bin Jim (or LBJ, HA HA, HOW CLEVER), who is just. So. Annoying. But seeing a character actor put all his dinner theatre talent into making lines like "Yummy. Yummy. Yummy. In my tummy. Tummy. Tummy." threatening isn't as amusing as you'd think. Watch him and thank God for Heath Ledger, because without him, The Dark Knight could've been unwatchable.
Like, just for instance, Jigsaw decides he's going to recruit an army to hunt down the Punisher (that trick never works, Bullwrinkle) and LBJ asks how he's going to get one. "We'll do what the Army does: Recruit in troubled neighborhoods, offer 100K towards a college education they're never going to get, and promise they won't have to go to Iraq."
That's an okay line. If you agree with it, it's kinda witty, and if you don't, hey, it's a villain saying it. But the Battle Hymn of the Republic (!) plays in the background while Jigsaw and LBJ go to various
Ray Stevenson makes an okay Punisher, even if his American accent is a little weird at times, but he does look like he stepped right out of a Tim Bradstreet drawing. It's just that the movie tries to humanize by giving him this little girl who sees through his unshaven exterior to see that he's really a good guy at heart and blah blah dismissive wank motion. It's just, cut the melodrama and get to the next ridiculously gory action scene.
I'm not kidding. If Jason Voorhees uses guns instead of a machete, he'd be Ray Stevenson's Punisher.
Oh, and this is a better comedy than... The Love Guru. How else can you explain the jaw-dropping hilarity of an exchange like...
Dying Ally Who Frank At First Disliked But Has Come To Respect And, Indeed, Love: See you in Hell.
Punisher: If I see you anywhere near Hell, I'll kick your ass back up.
Hell, that's funnier than anything TobeyMaguire!Spidey has ever said.
