Yes, I am proud of that white privilege line.

[seriousfic]

How come everyone hates the MPAA and yet all ficcers use its rating system? Oh, sure, sometimes someone will use "content some people may find disturbing" to warn for anything from "then he slowly unzipped his fly... THE NEXT MORNING dot dot dot" to "Saw 17: Eyeballs. Of young children. Who like to do it with older men," but for the most part it's G, PG, and so on.

Is everyone comfortable with that level of American cultural hegemony? Just because we're more comfortable with headbutting and nunchucks than the British, doesn't give us the right to spread our rating system everywhere. Therefore, I propose a rating system more in tune with the growing needs of the fanfic community and the attendant warnings.

Unrated = Femslash: May not exist.

G = FS: Forced Schmaltz and Cloying Cuteness. May contain irredeemably evil villains acting obnoxiously sweet. Sometimes referred to as Mylar.

PG = GEN: May contain character study and intriguing plot developments. Yaoi fangirls strongly cautioned.

PG-13 = F2B: May contain gratuitous fade-to-blacks.

R = FE: May contain flowery euphemisms and poetic descriptions of sex. Do not attempt to unf to this.

NC-17 = GS: Good Shit. May be written by fangirls whose greatest familiarity with homosexuality is reruns of Will & Grace. May contain the following phrases: son-slime, woman-cave, twin hillocks of feminine physiology, mam-meat, Robert Pattinson dice, hairy tangerines, giant-sized Man-Thing, John Barrowman bait, testicular cancer targets, 'his cock Hulked-out', and 'his cum was everywhere, like white privilege.'