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seriousficI was sitting in box office, waiting to sell more tickets to Beverly Hills Chihuahua (this from the studio that once gave us Beauty And The Beast. Alas and alack), when all of a sudden who should arrive but Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson! Before I could ask how they were still alive and why they weren’t fictional, Watson leaned forward and asked “May I inquire as to whether ‘Body of Lies’ is being presented here?”
Holmes made a disgruntled little snort. “No need to trouble the poor wretch for that, Watson.”
“But Holmes, haven’t you often opined that questions exist to be asked?”
“Indeed so, Watson. Precise questions, framed to unearth the buried truth, not to bludgeon it into submission. The answer to your query lies in plain sight: observe the list of show times. If the object of your query is absent, it thus follows that the motion picture is not being exhibited here.”
“By jove, Holmes, you’re right!” Watson stroked his moustache. “But suppose I wish to know the times a movie was showing-—I could consult the show times themselves!”
“Indubitably, my good Watson.”
“But what if I wished to know upon which elevation the movie was being shown!? Surely then I might inquire—“
“My friend, once again you look but fail to observe. Would I start a line of questioning by inquiring whether my source was man or fowl?”
“Heavens no! It would be quite obvious.”
“Exactly. Just so, you may find the level each movie is being showcased on by the simple expenditure of turning your attention to the show times.”
“'Upper level and lower level'?” Watson read. “Holmes, you’ve done it again!”
“It was all elementary, my dear Watson.”
I finally found my voice. “Guys, you’re holding up the line.”
Watson quickly paid for their tickets.
“By the way,” Holmes said to me, prompting a groan from all the customers behind him, “are there any new films in the crafting depicting myself?”
“There’s one. Robert Downey Jr. plays you, while Jude Law plays Watson.”
Holmes got out of line. “I’ve gotta lay off the cocaine.”
(Okay, okay, normally I wouldn't complain, but during the weekend, with fifty people a day who all can't be bothered to look three feet over my head to know what time their movie is playing, you either start thinking of this or something considerably more... Raymond Chandler.)
Holmes made a disgruntled little snort. “No need to trouble the poor wretch for that, Watson.”
“But Holmes, haven’t you often opined that questions exist to be asked?”
“Indeed so, Watson. Precise questions, framed to unearth the buried truth, not to bludgeon it into submission. The answer to your query lies in plain sight: observe the list of show times. If the object of your query is absent, it thus follows that the motion picture is not being exhibited here.”
“By jove, Holmes, you’re right!” Watson stroked his moustache. “But suppose I wish to know the times a movie was showing-—I could consult the show times themselves!”
“Indubitably, my good Watson.”
“But what if I wished to know upon which elevation the movie was being shown!? Surely then I might inquire—“
“My friend, once again you look but fail to observe. Would I start a line of questioning by inquiring whether my source was man or fowl?”
“Heavens no! It would be quite obvious.”
“Exactly. Just so, you may find the level each movie is being showcased on by the simple expenditure of turning your attention to the show times.”
“'Upper level and lower level'?” Watson read. “Holmes, you’ve done it again!”
“It was all elementary, my dear Watson.”
I finally found my voice. “Guys, you’re holding up the line.”
Watson quickly paid for their tickets.
“By the way,” Holmes said to me, prompting a groan from all the customers behind him, “are there any new films in the crafting depicting myself?”
“There’s one. Robert Downey Jr. plays you, while Jude Law plays Watson.”
Holmes got out of line. “I’ve gotta lay off the cocaine.”
(Okay, okay, normally I wouldn't complain, but during the weekend, with fifty people a day who all can't be bothered to look three feet over my head to know what time their movie is playing, you either start thinking of this or something considerably more... Raymond Chandler.)
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-28 03:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-28 03:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-28 04:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-28 08:59 pm (UTC)Oh well.
I don't understand why High School Musical is so popular. I really can't understand how it's popular enough to make three of them.