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Peter Parker was now genetically experimented on as a child, and the radioactive spider-bite activated that, HENCE Andrew Garfield.

I miss Morlun. Seriously, all that fantasy stuff could've at least provided the ingredients for a good movie. But this...

I'll never get the thinking that says "Oh, well you see, it wasn't a radioactive spider, that'd be silly, he ACTUALLY comes from a long line of spider-people who were experimented on by aliens and then his parents used in-vitro eugenics to change his genetic structure, so that when he was bombarded by cosmic rays it interacted with the nanobots he was designing for the military and he became SPIDER-MAN" is less stupid than "he was bitten by a radioactive genetically-engineered spider, which could totally turn someone into a superhero, *wink*". The second one gets that it's silly and moves on because it knows that, by buying a ticket, we have already accepted the premise. By insisting "no, no, this could really happen!", you're just being a douche about it.

I mean, for fuck's sake, it's been five years since Iron Man. People clearly accept "got hit by gamma radiation, turns into a giant rage-monster" or "ehh, he's a Norse god, they all have superstrength dontchaknow." We don't need a triple-redundancy on origin stories.

ETfuckingA: If you wanted to do an origin story about a spider-themed superhero who got her powers from her parents and their kooky arachnid DNA stuff, make a Spider-Girl movie.
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