The meeting of all the white people on the planet

[seriousfic]

In a previous post, I referred to the meeting of all the white people on the planet. This might be confusing for some of you who are not white, but the meeting is where we decide on pop culture and just general trolling. Justin Timberlake's popularity, The Killing, Sam Worthington being a bigger movie star than Idris Elba... all stuff white people pretend to like to see if we can trick you other guys into buying it. We also come up with new genres of fiction that have the decks a little stacked. For instance, at the last meeting we decided that what would be really big in coming months would be...

1. Superheroes from the Silver Age. It turns out, you don't have to justify racism so long as you just import characters from a racist period in history. Who knew?

2. Fairy tales. We're making three big-budget adaptations of Snow White, who by her very name has to be Caucasian, and all anyone asks for is another one based on the works of Bill Willingham, who thinks black people are a kind of cleaning product. How the fuck do you let us get away with that?

3. Greek mythology. Set in a time period where black people were off somewhere else, worshiping gods who weren't Liam Neeson.

4. Post-apocalyptic stories. Set in a time period where nuclear holocaust or zombie attack has killed most black people. In fact, the character of T-Dog in The Walking Dead was actually made by a rogue white person (or "Broken Spear" in our parlance) trying to point out this. We actually had a black character who doesn't do or say anything, except for one scene where he complains about how he doesn't get to do or say anything because he's black. No one noticed that, right?

5. Bromance. We were of course pleased to discover that women will accept almost entirely male casts so long as there is reasonable doubt as to whether or not the men are touching each other sexually (ETA: Whoopsie, this is from the meeting of all the men on the planet, don't know how that got in there)

Also, we decided to cancel steampunk, since justifying entirely white casts by setting it in a time period where black people were oppressed was just a little too blatant, even for us. Instead, we're going with a continuing "vampire" theme. If anyone has a box office pool going, you might want to get in on the ground floor of this. Shh!

Comments

[dragonbat2006.livejournal.com]

Funny thing about Snow White. I was just reading Snow White Gets Her Say, in which she points out that the fairytale description is "white as snow, red as blood, black as ebony" but (in one version at least) never specified what color went where. Put it this way: the part of her that was white as snow in this version? Was her teeth

[filbypott.livejournal.com]

I'm not aware of what you're referring to re: Bill Willingham, but given that he included Little Black Sambo in Jack of Fables, I believe it.

[neo-prodigy.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!