I really love the bit about the different "flavors of the week," but I don't quite see the "heart of a kitten."
I think that's Pepper being a bit of an unreliable narrator.
Alright, she's in love -- but wait -- she's not? It feels less like a secretary's justification for obsessing over her boss and more like a ... jealous ex-lover. That may be the angle you're looking for, though.
I look at it more as an internal conflict, her debating with herself a bit.
This reads like a run on sentence. I think the "Just because he risked his life at the drop of a hat" part doesn't fit with the rest of the thought. It's as if you're suggesting he has stopped risking his life in favor of stomping on sociopaths.
That's fair. Just plain miscommunication on my part.
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Date: 2008-05-12 08:18 pm (UTC)I think that's Pepper being a bit of an unreliable narrator.
Alright, she's in love -- but wait -- she's not? It feels less like a secretary's justification for obsessing over her boss and more like a ... jealous ex-lover. That may be the angle you're looking for, though.
I look at it more as an internal conflict, her debating with herself a bit.
This reads like a run on sentence. I think the "Just because he risked his life at the drop of a hat" part doesn't fit with the rest of the thought. It's as if you're suggesting he has stopped risking his life in favor of stomping on sociopaths.
That's fair. Just plain miscommunication on my part.
Does that help?
Actually, it does. You have the heart of a beta.