Generation X: The Movie: The Script

[seriousfic]

So, gentle reader, I recently came across the script to the woefully 90s-TV-show-on-Fox Generation X movie... yes, Jubilee made it to live-action before Wolverine. And it is, if anything, even more cracktastic than the finished move. (Quotable quote: "Go shave your chest!") Listen to Emma's introduction.

We are inside the opulent quarters of EMMA FROST aka THE WHITE QUEEN, infamous mutant and one time X-Men rival. Now an ally. Emma appears to be asleep. She is a vision of classic beauty, golden hair falling over flawless features. She is also as deadly as it gets. Her power is telepathy. Emma can psychically do anything she wants, from invading another's thoughts to creating mass hallucinations. She's a world class mind-witch given to roaming in temptress gear that would make Madonna blush. If she likes you, she's probably a heck of a fun date. Emma stirs from her sleep and rises wearing something skimpy and altogether inappropriate for prime time TV.

Then later...

EMMA
We can offer an alternative to a mutant camp.

Alicia sizes up the outlandish blonde.

ALICIA
In what, a strippers bar?

Alicia turns away dismissively. Emma's eyes go red. Banshee steps in before Emma fries the innocent woman. [...] Banshee explains slowly and carefully to Alicia while Emma watches, still stung from the sartorial insult.

Sadly, there is not a whole hour of Emma obsessing over how someone called her a stripper. And hey, sexual tension!

EMMA
You are one heck of a soft touch aren't you, Sean me boy?

BANSHEE
Only with helpless women. Which leaves you out, Mind-witch.

EMMA
Don't play macho with me, Sean. I could have you fetching frisbees like a trained pooch.

But some things never change.

Jubilee knows there's no way out. She glares at Emma, then goes behind the screen and removes her clothing. When she's stripped, Emma joins her carrying a set of electrodes. Jubilee's horrified, but says nothing as Emma routinely applies conducting gel and places the electrodes in the appropriate places. She finishes and steps aside for the machine to do its thing. As Jubilee stands there dying, Emma gives her a quick once over. Jubilee glares at Emma.

Forget Pedo Will, we clearly need a tumblr devoted to Emma's history of student/teacher dalliances.

All this and characterization too!

EMMA
This is against protocol.

BANSHEE:
That it is. But I won't tell if you don't.

She's pissed, but she doesn't want to be a jerk.

She doesn't want to be a jerk? She killed a horse!

More to come. I haven't even gotten to the samba music yet...

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Banshee explains slowly and carefully to Alicia while Emma watches, still stung from the sartorial insult.

This is completely ridiculous. Did the writer ever read an Xmen comic? No one outbitches Emma.

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

To be fair, this was back when Scott Lobdell had Monet St. Croix handing Emma's ass to her in verbal confrontations on a regular basis. The '90s were ... something.

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

... God, I remember that piece of shit, from back when it was simply accepted as a TRUISM that any TV or movie adaptation would screw with about 60 percent of the characters' personalities or status quos for no discernible reason whatsoever. As bad as a lot of the first Raimi Spider-Man film looks now, with Norman in his Goblin-Zord armor, I remember how utterly astonished fandom was when Peter actually got to keep his costume from the comics, since even Alex Ross assumed it'd undergo a radical redesign for the sake of itself.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Because comic books were for nerds. What, you think just because they're making a movie based on nerd stuff they're going to have it all nerdy? Throw some black leather on that shit, son!

Then the nerds started making movies...