(no subject)

So I was thinking about how weird it is that Wonder Woman’s sexuality gets so much emphasis in the fandom conversation about her, either the absence of it or the Grant Morrisonian “she’s all about SEX SEX SEX.” Meanwhile, Batman is kinda-sorta celibate, but you never see anyone making a big deal about “the gothic seductiveness of Bruce Wayne.” (Maybe it’s that we all know he lost his virginity to Sid Vicious?)

So I was thinking about placing Wonder Woman’s sexuality in the proper orbit as a PART—not all-important, nor trivial—of her character. And it occurs to me that Wonder Woman should have a Catwoman.

Ladies and gentlemen, this brings me to Angle Man.



Back on Earth-2, he was just a sleazy Eurotrash villain who tussled with Donna Troy, but I feel it’s not too much of a stretch to reinvent him for Nu52 (or my own personal headcanon that I will never tell you about) as a genuinely seductive character. Say, a bit of a Robin Hood. He steals shit—never hurting anyone, at least not badly—for the thrill of it, and aside from a small fee and operating expenses, he gives the money to charity. In contrast to Wonder Woman, who mostly works inside the system to change it, he just says fuck it and raises the middle finger to society. Why should some millionaire get away with paying a hundred thousand dollars for a pretty painting when people are starving in the streets? Isn’t it more JUST that he steal it, take his cut, and give the rest to feed people? Wondy could find that attitude alluring, if ultimately self-defeating and self-serving.

Beyond that, I feel like a lot of “seductive-towards-women” characters are just coded rapists, so Angle would put the “gentleman” in gentleman thief. It’d be clear he only flirts with Diana because she enjoys and welcomes the flirtation… they’re both very joyful characters with a keen lust for life… and their conflicts could illustrate the playful side of Diana’s personality. With no one in real danger, she could feel free to banter with him, making jokes about how yeah, sure she’d go on a date with him, as soon as he gets out on parole with time off for good behavior. And he, in turn, could say sure, I’ll give back this priceless antique I stole, in exchange for a kiss. And maybe she figures why not, gives him a smooch, he does as promised, then picks the lock on his handcuffs and escapes into the night, counting the whole thing a victory because, hey, he got to make out with Wonder Woman a little.

(Of course, trying this on the short-tempered Power Girl, he might end up in a neckbrace.)

I know what the next objection would be, and yeah, I could see the danger of him being a Marty Stu who Wonder Woman ~can’t resist~, (speaking of Grant Morrison, hellllooooo Fantomax) but I think good writing could keep him clear of that. And him being, somewhat circuitously, on the side of angels would be a great story engine. Wonder Woman could turn to him when she needs a third party to act for her unofficially, or he could warn her about something big going down in supervillain circles, and with all the powerful ancient artifacts Diana runs into—well, draw your own conclusions.

Outfit-wise, lots of suave suits and tight catsuits that leave nothing to the imagination, exactly like a gender-swapped Selina or Black Cat might wear. Hell, give him a black kitty just like Cary Grant in To Catch A Thief, just to drive the parallel home. Just never have Wonder Woman pining over him or angsting about being in love with a ~criminal~. It’s a light-hearted flirtation.

P.S. Would this Angled Man and Riddler teaming up to pull a job not be the most adorable thing?