Maggedon outta here

Been reading the Mageddon arc of Grant Morrison's JLA run, sorta the first season finale of his work there. I think it proves continuity is a mixed blessing. On the one hand, just the fact of the Big Seven JLA is because of continuity. It's a very plot-driven work, lacking the character-driven plotting of a lot of team books, leaving the soap opera stuff to the heroes' individual comics. So continuity establishes the characters and Morrison plays on them. On the flipside, even though Morrison tries to ground his stuff and at least give the reader a primer on what he's bringing in, the fact that his canon draws from over seven separate heroes means that if you don't make comic books an occupation, you lose track. I mean, I'm the kind of comic fan who has written hardcore Ivy/Harley fic, and even I had to go "okay, so Johnny Thunder's pen demon is another fifth-dimensional imp like Mr. M-something-you-have-to-Google from Superman? Okaaaaaaay."

Anyway, on the one hand, it's a really epic and good series, yet despite having a threat equal to a JLA movie (instead of, like, Max Lord, seriously), it wouldn't work as a movie? It's just really dense--in a good way, for a comic, since you can reread a panel--and sprawling and cosmic. But I don't think everyone on Earth becoming a superhero because it's the future of evolution would work on film. And the basic plot of "big fucking cosmic bad wants to fuck up the Earth, sends a supervillain agent" is too similar to both Avengers and Green Lantern.

Time for another tangent? Whee! Okay, I am not even some Richard Dawkins atheist, and I have a better grasp on evolution than either Grant Morrison or the writers of any Star Trek series ever. Evolution isn't a destiny, at least in scientific terms. It's a slacker. Every species wants to finds its niche, then just play videogames all day and eat cereal. But every other species is also looking for its niche, so the first species will find ways to hide its stash and smoke on the down-low and all. But species aren't evolving toward a big-headed guy who can shoot mind-bullets. Then again, the DC universe has canon gods, so maybe they direct evolution? There you go.

Then I started thinking that actually, Mageddon could work as a movie, if you pared it down some. So check it. Start off with the Shaggy Man... actually, no, that's a horrible name, let's just do Doomsday. Same principle. We'll reimagine him as Mageddon's advance agent. He's launched to Earth, goes on a rampage as a test. Ten minutes of sheer Michael Bay. Doomsday happens to land some the stomping ground of some street-level heroes, let's say Green Arrow, and he barely survives the fight. Rampage continues. More superheroes get drawn in, one by one. You know, Kyle Raynor is in New York, doing something Kyle-y, he hears that shit's cray, heads out to save the day. They're introduced, they see shit going down, they respond. There's no coordination, no teamwork. They get their asses handed to them. Finally, it's Wonder Woman alone against Doomsday when Superman comes back from deep space. The two go head to head, tear through Metropolis, finish each other off with simultaenous punches. Superman is killed/put in a coma. Doomsday is knocked out too, long enough for him to be secured.

That's your trailer right there. Want the non-Doomsday stuff? Buy a ticket.

The heroes realize that Earth is in danger from threats so great that no hero, even Superman, can handle them alone. They unite and start training in a quick World Without Superman riff (no Superboy, Cyborg Superman, or Steel this time around. Okay, maybe Steel). Then they get a call from Lois. Superman left her a crystal that's telling her someone's broken into the Fortress of Solitude. They go there to find the New God.

You know what never gets old? Tangents. I'll refer to this character as Orion from here on out, since that's a pretty easy entry point into the Fourth World stuff, of which Mageddon is just the tip of the iceberg. But, maybe there's already been a Scott Free movie, or a Superman movie with Darkseid and friends? Or maybe there's going to be a Scott Free origin film in the future? Or maybe they're going with Scott Free as an established hero, but Big Barda is still on Team Darkseid in this movie? The point is, you can do any combination you feel like. We could also do a TWIST and have the New God be sent by Darkseid instead of New Genesis. Again, opening up Big Barda and/or Scott Free. But whatever.

Orion is looking for Superman. They need to marshall Earth's defenses against Mageddon. Meantime, Mageddon is working his magic. We've got General Eiling marshalling the troops against the JLA and Lex Luthor forming the Injustice Gang (either of those could be cut, but I think there's room for both). The second act is full of crazy shit as everyone's plans run into each other. The Hall of Justice is invaded. People die. Imagery is computer generated. Our heroes are scattered.

Then Superman wakes up. Reunites the superheroes and gives them a speech about getting along, then goes on a counteroffensive against Mageddon. With some badassery, the government is off their backs. General Eiling goes psycho and transfers his mind into Doomsday. The League, minus J'onn, Batman, and Supes (who are psychic threesoming Mageddon), hits Eilingday and the Injustice Gang. Once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls.

One more tangent? One more. The thing is, the Death of Superman is a big enough story to be adapted, but how do you do a Superman movie where Superman spends even a little of the movie dead? I don't know quite how open audiences would be to a Superman movie with a thirty-minute stretch of nothing but Lois and Jimmy. But do that in the context of a Justice League movie, you've got somewhere for the story to go while Superman is out of the picture, plus you get to show why Superman needs the League and how awesome they are without him, and especially why Superman even needs back-up. Also, I'd play Mageddon itself as an object of pathos. It's an ancient god-weapon, sure, but it's also a living being that's known nothing but hatred and war for millenia. It's a dinosaur, and I'd love to see a Guillermo del Toro approach to it, portraying it as an abused animal that has to be given the mercy of being put down.

Four big action sequences. First off, the heroes running a train on Doomsday. Then, the Justice League versus the army (fliers vs. jets, powerhouses vs. tanks, street-level vs. troops). Then the League versus the Injustice Gang, who can of course be any heroes' nemesis that doesn't rate his own movie. Finally, the League versus Eiling-controlled Doomday, working as a team and taking him down where they failed before.

As for the line-up, go nuts. Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman, of course. And, like I said, this would be a good introduction point for Steel. Use him as the audience identification figure. Let him land the finishing blow on Eilingday. Not too sure about Aquaman. Beardy haughty mythological guy with an evil brother sounds a lot like Thor. Plus, "oh, no, he's not lame, he talks to sharks and he has a beard and he has a hook!" C'mon, comics. Let it go. Aquaman is lame.

Who else? Power Girl, great character, not too tied to Superman to come off as a spin-off. Maybe Zatanna? It'd make Paul Dini happy, and we do owe him for the Batman cartoon. Maybe save Martian Manhunter for a White Martian movie (since the telepathy at the climax can also be provided by Zatanna or Wondy, really anyone with some good mystic technobabble).