Sees link entitled "Six things Bionic Woman got wrong"

Hmmm... an analysis of failed storytelling in a series with great potential. Should be interesting...

The show had a hot lead actress, Michelle Ryan, who played Jamie Wells Sommers, she was given a pretty younger sister Becca Sommers (Lucy Kate Hale), and an attractive nemesis in Sarah Corvus (Katee Sachhoff).

Deep hurt is incoming.

What would have been more interesting is if the Berkut Group had taught Sarah seduction and she used those skills to get marks between her bionic thighs then crushed them like Xenia Onatopp in GoldenEye. That would have been a vastly more entertaining use of her bionic legs than hackneyed wire jumping.

WHAT AM I READING?

ETA: If you must know, I can sum up what Bionic Woman got wrong in one scene. During the pilot, I think, there was a sequence where Jamie is testing out her powers and running at sixty miles per hour through a forest or whatever. She runs past a speeding car, there's a little girl in the backseat who spots her, she says "Mommy, Mommy, look how fast that woman is running!" You know, typical superhero stuff. The mom says something and the little girl goes back to her Gameboy, saying "I just think it's cool that a girl can do that."

Protip: If you have to insert a scene with no other purpose than to point out how cool and feminist your show is, it's probably not cool or feminist.

DC universe: Zatanna

There's an old NPR episode in which John Hodgkins talks about how, when he's trying to get to sleep, he lays in bed and thinks about how he'd rewrite Star Wars: Episode 1. I have a similar thing, just with the DC universe.

Okay, I'm trying not to change this character too much, but here's my pitch. Zatanna's father was a famous magician, yadda yadda died recently. She followed in his footsteps, becoming a classical stage magician (hence the fishnets), while her younger brother Zachary Zatara became a somewhat annoying Criss Angel style street magician. Think David Tennant in Fright Night, for those of you who don't follow the scintillating world of stage magic. There's some obvious sibling rivalry there, but when Zatanna finds out that her father died investigating real magic, she brings Zachary along to find out what's what.

Their search leads them to a dying Dr. Fate, who needs to pass on the Helm of Nabu. Zatanna claims it, as does Zachary, and in their struggle they accidentally both get zapped, to use the technical term. Dr. Fate, who is supposed to be a neutral arbitrator between order and chaos, ends up divided, with Zatanna getting the power of the Lords of Order and Zachary getting the power of... the other guys.

Of course, Zatanna has always been pretty structured--try to escape a straitjacket underwater without a level head--and she easily adapts to her new power by turning her old nonsense backward magic words routine into an actual means of control. Zachary, not so much. Like every mentor in every action movie warned, if he doesn't control the magic, it controls him, so though he means well, trying to parlay his new power into becoming the greatest magician ever ends up unleashing a demon or three. After roping them up with Zatanna's help, he consents to join the Teen Titans, where Raven can try to teach him some measure of control.

Of course, it takes both of them to form a full-on yellow undies Dr. Fate, but that really only becomes a thing in the most dire situations--which is, naturally, the worst circumstances for Zatanna and Zachary to have to get along. When they meet, for the most part, Zachary is spiteful about being reduced to a "sidekick" and his career being ruined, with Zatanna trying in the manner of big sisters everywhere to pull him along and not bludgeon him to death with anything.

Also, Zachary might be gay for Red Devil. Don't say I never gave you nothing, fangirls.

Official Star Wars canon

The Village People exist in the Star Wars universe, but instead of YMCA, they sing "It's fun to be in the Empire today!"