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This Means War Part Deux
Feb. 21st, 2012 08:47 pmOkay, you may be saying, I'm not into men kissing. What bearing, then, does This Means War have on me?
Well, not much. The premise goes something like this. Tom Hardy plays lonely heart divorcee Tuck (does his estranged ex-wife hang around with a big neon sign saying "Consolation prize!" Do we get no hint at the issues that led to their split, or later reconciliation? Is there any early scene that implies she and Chris Pine are related, only for it to be revealed in the epilogue that they slept together, making this film either a lot more daring or a lot more shoddy than you'd think?). Tuck decides to get back in the dating game, and since you don't meet any beautiful women in the spy game (despite the fact that he can Pine meet two in the prologue who seem nice) and there aren't any attractive co-workers he could ask out who he wouldn't have to deceive and protect from vengeful terrorists (the only woman at the CIA seems to be the requisite see-we're-not-racist black authority figure, who is so used to saying "What the hell is going on here?" that she busts it out while Pine and Hardy are competing over who can throw the most paper wads into a trashcan. I don't know, that seems pretty harmless compared to destabilizing democratically elected governments. Maybe she should be concerned with that instead. And there seem to be bikini models constantly swimming in the pool above Chris Pine's glass ceiling... maybe he should try to ask one of them out.
The point is, Tuck decides to join an online dating website over the objections of his partner (yes no yes not like that) FDR, played by Chris Pine. For some reason, FDR calls himself FDR doesn't bother to check out Tuck's mystery date at all, despite his later privacy invasions, so when he runs into Reese Witherspoon, playing Heterosexuality Lauren, he chats her up. Lauren, who has just hit it off with Tuck, shoots him down.
Wow. That movie was short. It seems that whole "which man will she choose?" thing got settled fast.
Wait, then he goes to her office and calls her frigid until she agrees to go out with him. Wow, all this time I thought women didn't like being stalked--turns out they just don't like being stalked by ugly people. Thanks, Hollywood!
( More. )
Well, not much. The premise goes something like this. Tom Hardy plays lonely heart divorcee Tuck (does his estranged ex-wife hang around with a big neon sign saying "Consolation prize!" Do we get no hint at the issues that led to their split, or later reconciliation? Is there any early scene that implies she and Chris Pine are related, only for it to be revealed in the epilogue that they slept together, making this film either a lot more daring or a lot more shoddy than you'd think?). Tuck decides to get back in the dating game, and since you don't meet any beautiful women in the spy game (despite the fact that he can Pine meet two in the prologue who seem nice) and there aren't any attractive co-workers he could ask out who he wouldn't have to deceive and protect from vengeful terrorists (the only woman at the CIA seems to be the requisite see-we're-not-racist black authority figure, who is so used to saying "What the hell is going on here?" that she busts it out while Pine and Hardy are competing over who can throw the most paper wads into a trashcan. I don't know, that seems pretty harmless compared to destabilizing democratically elected governments. Maybe she should be concerned with that instead. And there seem to be bikini models constantly swimming in the pool above Chris Pine's glass ceiling... maybe he should try to ask one of them out.
The point is, Tuck decides to join an online dating website over the objections of his partner (
Wow. That movie was short. It seems that whole "which man will she choose?" thing got settled fast.
Wait, then he goes to her office and calls her frigid until she agrees to go out with him. Wow, all this time I thought women didn't like being stalked--turns out they just don't like being stalked by ugly people. Thanks, Hollywood!
( More. )
