The Smurfs

Something about the indignity of having a workplace with a "Smurf Day," consisting of sexually mature adults being painted blue and dressed as Smurfs, or indeed even being given Furry-style suits, turns me into Eddie Murphy circa cocaine. Here are a few samples of my reign of terror. Can you guess all the pop culture references?

-What gives you the right to tell Green Lantern what to do?

-(to female co-worker whose costume consisted of facepaint, a blue shirt, and white pants) Are you a boy Smurf or a topless girl Smurf?

- How could you turn on Professor X? He was like a brother to you!

- Oh, Neytiri, I cried so hard when they blew up Home Tree.

- Are you now or have you ever been a Communist?

- (to Papa Smurf) Why are you the only old Smurf?

- Why'd you leave the X-Men? They could've used you during the Last Stand!

- Are you really blue or just cold?

- Is Skeletor just an undead Smurf?

- Is the Cookie Monster just a Smurf with body hair?

- Are you small and blue all over?

- It burns when I smurf, should I see a doctor?

- What do you wear after Labor Day?

- (to Papa Smurf, who replies) "What color do your balls turn when you get horny?" "I don't get horny, I'm old." "Can't you take a little blue pill?"

Comics

Why is it that the government in superhero comics always has time to create spy agencies, and superhero teams, and sweeping legislation to govern the superheroes (often in conjunction with other countries), and prisons in other dimensions to hold rogue superheroes, and armies to take down superheroes gone bad, and giant robots to hunt certain kinds of heroes... but they never bother to make a law like "If you keep murdering people and we have no way to assuredly hold you in prison, we'll just kill you. Yes, even if you're crazy." I mean, you'd think after the Joker's body count reaches the triple digits, they'd stop coming up with vast conspiracies to take out Superman (body count: 0) and attend to the guy who has actually almost managed to destroy the world on multiple occasions.