Research: Blood of the Fold Chapter 8

The woman in the lead pushed back her hood, letting her long blond hair, plaited in a single thick braid, fall free. Her blue eyes searched the wall where he stood.

"Lord Rahl? Lord Rahl, where…"

Richard blinked. "Cara?"

Then Gratch shows up to totally kill my buzz, but before Cara can be introduced by killing a flying bear, Richard stops the fight and so it turns out that pretty much everyone there is trying to protect Richard.

Cara's all smiley over Richard's invisibility cloak (probably because it will make it easier for him to disappear when she wants to screw Kahlan) and it turns out she came up with the plan to pretend to be bad guys to get Richard out of trouble. And she didn't say anything like "I'll give those guards something to guard against!" before doing it, either.

With a "mischievous smile"… man, Bookverse!Cara needs to watch the Valium… Cara introduces her bitches, Hally, Berdine, and Raina, and she explains the bond between the Lord Rahl and D'Harans. Basically, magic Twitter. Naturally, we get about half a dozen pages about this. Long story short: Richard is the magic against magic and everyone else is the steel against steel. Cara, of course, is the awesome against less awesome. She keeps dweebs and lamers out of Richard's way. Richard is all "but I don't know any magic!" and Cara is just "bitch, LEARN."

Even longer story short: Although a lot of the D'Harans are bonded to Richard, some of them don't have D'Haran blood and are wimps. Luckily, the Mord'Sith have brought a document from a high D'Haran muckety-muck saying "relax, this guy's cool." And if a commander is bonded to Richard, then his men are usually bonded as well, which makes the whole thing sound like a video game. Kinda like an RTS game meets a dating sim? Between missions, you have to convince generals of the rightness of your cause in an exciting mini-game! "Richard Rahl, I'll only follow you if you can beat me at golf!" No, really, Richard has to demonstrate his magic to get this general on his side. It'll probably be a QTE in the video game.

Richard says "Hally, I could kiss you!" and Hally shuts him down because they don't have idioms at Pain-Loving Leather-Clad Assassin School, before going "j/k, what's a little rape between friends?" Richard shuts himself down, because the only moral difference between him and Jagang is going to be their opinions on consent, so he'd better keep that going. Then he tells the Mord'Sith they need to change into their red leather outfits for his plan… I don't know, maybe we should let Cara do the plans from now on, she's shown a real aptitude for it… but they keep him in the room because they must protect him (he turns his back, natch). This is going to get awkward when he needs to pee. And talk about your mixed signals. "Lord Rahl, you have freed us, we don't have to have sex with you anymore. Now wait here while we change clothes!" Which wave of feminism is that, three and a half?

Oh, hey, look, Faith is dressing as Wonder Woman for Halloween

So, by way of Internet magic, some concept art of how Wonder Woman might have looked like if Joss Whedon had made a movie about her has surfaced. And it's... at least there's no black leather. IDK, the pantsuit look is the best of the bunch and it just screams uninspired to me. Turning her bathing suit into pants and a tanktop. How very... DeviantArt. And when I think dignified warrior-goddess of truth, I ALWAYS think "belly shirt." And what's with the thigh-high boots? They practically come up to her ovaries on that trenchcoat one. I'll stop.

Metal buckles on everything? Vomit.

This was, of course, the movie that fell through because none of TPTB were really interested in making it. Yeah, the world's most iconic superheroine brought to the screen by the critically-acclaimed creator of Buffy The Vampire Slayer? That'll never work. Now a movie about Jonah Hex from the director of Horton Hears A Who? I'VE GOT A MONEY-BONER JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!

Tl;dr - Pteryges or GTFO. If it's good enough for the hero in every Greek period piece ever made (including Troy and Clash of the Titans, which came out this year), it's good enough for Wondy.