![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
We open with Jackie Brown in her office, which has gone way overboard with the chess motif. You don’t see FBI agents with belt buckles that spell out FBI, do you? It must get annoying, getting some chess-related knick-knack for every birthday or Christmas, just because you work for Checkmate. “Oh, a lamp shaped like a chess piece, goodie, I didn’t have enough light in my high-tech office. It’s not like I wanted The Wire on DVD or anything.”
Jackie moves a white piece to knock over her own knight, which has nothing to do with anything that follows, since she’s really moving the white knight to take out a black piece. But I guess she had to fool Green Arrow, in case he was watching.
Tess gets the high sign and hits a panic button in her office, causing a secret compartment to open. Inside are the parts of a gun, which she has to painstakingly assemble, load, and put a silencer on. Why not just keep a loaded gun there?
Then Tess jumps down a chute and lands in a different outfit with a wig on. It’s literally like something out of the Adam West Batman series. I loled.
A lot of pointless slo-mo shots follow, like Zack Snyder stopped by and decided to direct a routine scuffle like it was the Battle of Thermopylae. They had the budget for that, but not for Superman and Doomsday to actually, uh, fight?
It’s all part of a brilliant scheme to catch Green Arrow (luckily he stepped in to save Tess and not someone else). Then, Tess DOESN’T SEARCH GREEN ARROW AT ALL, so he uses a lockpick and PLASTIC EXPLOSIVES to escape. Jackie Brown rightfully chews Tess out for this. It’s awesome. See, Jackie is a guest star, so she’s allowed to have a brain.
( Morality is relative, but douchiness is clean-cut. )
Jackie moves a white piece to knock over her own knight, which has nothing to do with anything that follows, since she’s really moving the white knight to take out a black piece. But I guess she had to fool Green Arrow, in case he was watching.
Tess gets the high sign and hits a panic button in her office, causing a secret compartment to open. Inside are the parts of a gun, which she has to painstakingly assemble, load, and put a silencer on. Why not just keep a loaded gun there?
Then Tess jumps down a chute and lands in a different outfit with a wig on. It’s literally like something out of the Adam West Batman series. I loled.
A lot of pointless slo-mo shots follow, like Zack Snyder stopped by and decided to direct a routine scuffle like it was the Battle of Thermopylae. They had the budget for that, but not for Superman and Doomsday to actually, uh, fight?
It’s all part of a brilliant scheme to catch Green Arrow (luckily he stepped in to save Tess and not someone else). Then, Tess DOESN’T SEARCH GREEN ARROW AT ALL, so he uses a lockpick and PLASTIC EXPLOSIVES to escape. Jackie Brown rightfully chews Tess out for this. It’s awesome. See, Jackie is a guest star, so she’s allowed to have a brain.
( Morality is relative, but douchiness is clean-cut. )
