Title: Avengers: Earth’s Muppetest Heroes
Fandom: The Avengers/The Muppets
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 6,352
Characters/Pairings: The Muppets, the Avengers
Summary: When the Muppets base their next movie on the Avengers’ adventures, Earth’s mightiest heroes find themselves taking on Earth’s feltiest puppets for a ride-along, leading to hijinx, shenanigans, and the worst episode of The Dating Game since Rodney James Alcala.

“I’m sure you won’t. Now, if you could all sign the standard Marvel Movie contract. It’s a lot like your old Rich and Famous contract, but without the ‘Rich’ part. You’ll also need to make cameos in some other movies. Guardians of the Galaxy, Captain America 2, the all-female remake of Free Willy, and of course, Saw 9: Saw ’N Sniff.”

So I, like, tried to write a part with Pepper and Holmes, but then I got bored and decided to just post this.



Title: Elementary, My Dear Pepper
Fandom: Sherlock Holmes/Iron Man
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 835
Characters/Pairings: Tony Stark, John Watson
Summary: For reasons too complicated to be explained ever, Pepper and Watson have switched places. Tony is used to this brave new world.

( It had been one thing when they were roommates in college. Watson had appreciated the medical experience, which would surely come in handy if he was ever on a game show where all the questions pertained to symptoms of venereal diseases. On the whole, in fact, Watson would say he'd seen Stark's dick more than the entirety of the female gender. )

If I'd been really honest with the pairings, it'd be something like "references to Thor/Ororo, Tony/Natasha, and Felicia being Felicia."

Title: Spidey’s Got A Girlfriend 2: Girlfriend Harder!
Fandom: Marvel Adventures Avengers
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5,585
Characters/Pairings: Peter/MJ, Jan, Ororo, the Avengers, and special guest Spider-love interests!
Last Part: Spidey’s Got A Girlfriend!
Summary: So Peter’s dating someone. Someone secret. Well, what if she’s a shapeshifter or a stalker or an alien? Or all three? It’s a good thing Peter has friends like Jan and Ororo to find out who he’s dating, and if she’s a shapeshifting alien stalker.

( Jan pointed a finger in Tigra’s face. “Are you now or have you ever been Spidey’s girlfriend?” )

Title: Steve Rogers Must Die!
Fandom: Iron Man (movieverse)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,946
Characters/Pairings: Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Jim Rhodes, Steve Rogers
Summary: Tony is not happy about some defrosted moron in American flag lingerie running the Avengers. Not one bit.

( He'd been walking with his corporate support staff, discussing mergers and acquisitions and the appropriately inappropriate short skirt the new receptionist wore when Nick Fury had appeared out of nowhere to join the party. And all Tony could do was shoot his treacherous SHIELD handler, Natasha, a look as Fury started in about... well, really, Tony hadn't been listening, he'd been wondering if all this could've been avoided by calling Natasha like he'd promised to. )

Title: The Queer Case of Spider-Man and Tony Stark’s Family Jewels
Fandom: Spectacular Spider-Man/Iron Man movieverse
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Any permutation of Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, and Felicia Hardy that you can name. Except that one.
Word Count: 4,972
Timeline: During the symbiote arc of Spectacular Spider-Man and post-movie Iron Man. Sequel to Don’t Steal My Heart (Take The Diamonds Instead).
Acknowledgments: Beta by htbthomas
Summary: Never invite a cat burglar to a formal soiree. It’s tacky.

( So I just look that dragon square in the face and say 'Look, I don't care if you were born without genitalia, you're a fifty-foot gecko in purple pants. Who're ya gonna screw, Hillary Clinton?' )

Title: Armored
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: implied Tony/Pepper
Word Count: 695
Summary: Pepper wonders what it takes to build an Iron Man.

( Little sexy, isn’t it? It’s okay. Girls go crazy for a sharp-dressed man, or so I’m told. )

I got bored waiting for Joey Q to get run out of Marvel on a rail, so here’s the fic of (a Quesada-less) tomorrow… today!


Title: Curtains
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Peter/MJ, Tony Stark, Jessica Drew
Word Count: 2,336
Summary: The longest hours of Mary-Jane’s life are waiting for Peter to come home. Sometimes, coming home doesn’t make things any better.

( Peter had come in through the window, dressed in that suit that at times like this she could never figure out how she’d once thought it was sexy. The blue parts were soaked into darkness and the red seemed to escape and spread over the black stitching that covered it. He seemed like one massive wound. Taking the mask off didn’t help. )