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seriousfic) wrote2010-12-13 12:34 pm
seriousfic) wrote2010-12-13 12:34 pm
Glee fic: A Very Brittana Alternate Ending (uh... Brittany/Santana)
I hate this title. But I only rake my brain for good ones when the word count is over a thousand. So, if you hate it too, just put in a Ralph Waldo Emerson quote about love, you know, mentally.
Title: A Very Brittana Alternate Ending
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG
Word Count: 761
Characters/Pairings: Brittany/Santana
Spoilers: For A Very Glee Christmas.
Summary: Sweet lady kisses make a great stocking stuffer.
Beiste trudged back to her car, already wishing she was out of the Santa suit. Brittany was a cute kid, but how could anyone be that dumb? It made her wonder if this wasn't a prank after all. These kids had a way of forgetting life lessons every week, in her opinion.
"Santa?" Brittany called from the backdoor. When Beiste turned, she was furrowing her brow in confusion, possibly for the first time. "Where's your sleigh?"
"It's in the shop. The Easter Bunny lent me his El Camino."
"Oh." Brittany was back to smiling beatifically, which seemed like her default expression when dealing with mythological figures. "I was just thinking that if you can't help Artie, maybe you can do something for Santana."
"Santana Lopez?"
"I know she's probably on the naughty list after those hobo races, but maybe you could switch us around? My dog likes lumps of coal."
Beiste sighed. How could she say no to that face twice in one night? "Sure thing."
"Thanks Santa!" Brittany rushed forward and hugged Beiste.
The neighbors were watching. She should've taken that teaching job in Sunnydale.
***
Several musical numbers later, they all ended up at Will's apartment for the worst-stocked Christmas party ever. Quinn ended up staring Sue into ordering Chinese food, since "they're the only place heathen enough to be open on Jesus's birthday."
Brittany opened her fortune cookie. Nothing about what her dog had planned for all that coal, just "An old friend is thinking of you."
Brittany looked around to find Santana staring at her. Caught, Santana looked away. She'd been avoiding Brittany ever since Brittany started avoiding her. They didn't even dance together in the background of the other kids' routines.
Santana walked off, shoulders rounded. Brittany caught up to her in the doorway to Will's man-cave, which consisted of a lava lamp and some posters of Cher.
"Did you get what you wanted for Christmas?"
Santana swung around, fixing Brittany with an acerbic glare. "Do I look like I had a Botox shot?"
"Yeah. Botox makes you prettier, right?"
Santana sighed, feeling her head automatically snap and her ponytail bob as she went into tell-a-fool mode. She'd never used it on Brittany before, but hell, Brittany had never been this foolish before.. "No, Brittany, I didn't get what I wanted, because I asked for my best friend to stop dating a jerk who's only with her because she's too stupid to see what a jerk he is!"
"I don't know, Sam seems nice."
Santana cocked her head, running through the mental gymnastics of her Brittany routine. "Quinn isn't my best friend."
Brittany's lips pressed together. "Oh." Then they formed a little oval. "Oh!" Then they curled to one side. "Wait…" Then they turned into a smile. "Oh! You do care!"
Santana would've scoffed, but her heart was punching its way up her throat. The one time Brittany had to be quick on the uptake... "It's just that you smell nicer than Puck, and you're smoother, and I can't scissor with him."
Brittany didn't stop smiling. "I care about you, Santana."
"Alright, fine," Santana huffed. "I care. It's a friggin' Christmas miracle."
"No, that is." Brittany pointed.
Perched above Santana's head was a sprig of mistletoe, left by Rachel as a snare for Finn.
Brittany kissed Santana like she meant it, like there'd never been anyone else, like if she'd always kissed Santana that way, Santana never would've gone anywhere. Santana felt like bursting into song, but didn't. That would've been so lame.
"Are you jealous yet?" Brittany asked.
Santana's brain was still on hold. Where did Brittany learn to use her tongue like that? Artie? And where she'd put her hand… she never put her hand there during make-out sessions. It was always some awkward hip thing like they were taking ballet lessons. "Jealous?"
"Of me and Artie? I dated him to make you jealous." Brittany smiled at her own cleverness. "And it's fun to push him around."
Santana knew Brittany could only mean that literally. But screw it, she couldn't tell anymore which one of them was supposed to be in the doghouse, so they could just be in the doghouse together. Humping. Doggy-style. "I'm a green-eyed monster, babe. Let's go find someplace I can spank you."
And it all worked out fine, until Emma came over to deliver a fruitcake, looked for somewhere to set it down, opened a certain closet, saw two Cheerios doing something obscenely unsanitary, and fainted for twenty minutes.
"She deserves it for bringing a fruitcake," was Santana's opinion.
Title: A Very Brittana Alternate Ending
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG
Word Count: 761
Characters/Pairings: Brittany/Santana
Spoilers: For A Very Glee Christmas.
Summary: Sweet lady kisses make a great stocking stuffer.
Beiste trudged back to her car, already wishing she was out of the Santa suit. Brittany was a cute kid, but how could anyone be that dumb? It made her wonder if this wasn't a prank after all. These kids had a way of forgetting life lessons every week, in her opinion.
"Santa?" Brittany called from the backdoor. When Beiste turned, she was furrowing her brow in confusion, possibly for the first time. "Where's your sleigh?"
"It's in the shop. The Easter Bunny lent me his El Camino."
"Oh." Brittany was back to smiling beatifically, which seemed like her default expression when dealing with mythological figures. "I was just thinking that if you can't help Artie, maybe you can do something for Santana."
"Santana Lopez?"
"I know she's probably on the naughty list after those hobo races, but maybe you could switch us around? My dog likes lumps of coal."
Beiste sighed. How could she say no to that face twice in one night? "Sure thing."
"Thanks Santa!" Brittany rushed forward and hugged Beiste.
The neighbors were watching. She should've taken that teaching job in Sunnydale.
***
Several musical numbers later, they all ended up at Will's apartment for the worst-stocked Christmas party ever. Quinn ended up staring Sue into ordering Chinese food, since "they're the only place heathen enough to be open on Jesus's birthday."
Brittany opened her fortune cookie. Nothing about what her dog had planned for all that coal, just "An old friend is thinking of you."
Brittany looked around to find Santana staring at her. Caught, Santana looked away. She'd been avoiding Brittany ever since Brittany started avoiding her. They didn't even dance together in the background of the other kids' routines.
Santana walked off, shoulders rounded. Brittany caught up to her in the doorway to Will's man-cave, which consisted of a lava lamp and some posters of Cher.
"Did you get what you wanted for Christmas?"
Santana swung around, fixing Brittany with an acerbic glare. "Do I look like I had a Botox shot?"
"Yeah. Botox makes you prettier, right?"
Santana sighed, feeling her head automatically snap and her ponytail bob as she went into tell-a-fool mode. She'd never used it on Brittany before, but hell, Brittany had never been this foolish before.. "No, Brittany, I didn't get what I wanted, because I asked for my best friend to stop dating a jerk who's only with her because she's too stupid to see what a jerk he is!"
"I don't know, Sam seems nice."
Santana cocked her head, running through the mental gymnastics of her Brittany routine. "Quinn isn't my best friend."
Brittany's lips pressed together. "Oh." Then they formed a little oval. "Oh!" Then they curled to one side. "Wait…" Then they turned into a smile. "Oh! You do care!"
Santana would've scoffed, but her heart was punching its way up her throat. The one time Brittany had to be quick on the uptake... "It's just that you smell nicer than Puck, and you're smoother, and I can't scissor with him."
Brittany didn't stop smiling. "I care about you, Santana."
"Alright, fine," Santana huffed. "I care. It's a friggin' Christmas miracle."
"No, that is." Brittany pointed.
Perched above Santana's head was a sprig of mistletoe, left by Rachel as a snare for Finn.
Brittany kissed Santana like she meant it, like there'd never been anyone else, like if she'd always kissed Santana that way, Santana never would've gone anywhere. Santana felt like bursting into song, but didn't. That would've been so lame.
"Are you jealous yet?" Brittany asked.
Santana's brain was still on hold. Where did Brittany learn to use her tongue like that? Artie? And where she'd put her hand… she never put her hand there during make-out sessions. It was always some awkward hip thing like they were taking ballet lessons. "Jealous?"
"Of me and Artie? I dated him to make you jealous." Brittany smiled at her own cleverness. "And it's fun to push him around."
Santana knew Brittany could only mean that literally. But screw it, she couldn't tell anymore which one of them was supposed to be in the doghouse, so they could just be in the doghouse together. Humping. Doggy-style. "I'm a green-eyed monster, babe. Let's go find someplace I can spank you."
And it all worked out fine, until Emma came over to deliver a fruitcake, looked for somewhere to set it down, opened a certain closet, saw two Cheerios doing something obscenely unsanitary, and fainted for twenty minutes.
"She deserves it for bringing a fruitcake," was Santana's opinion.
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Also if we can't get rid of Barfie I think the show should give us Santana's hobo races. I'm off to start a petition...
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I loved the BTVS reference.
The Brittany and Santana interaction was cute.
I loved the ending ("She deserves it for bringing a fruitcake"); it really made me laugh.
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Erin
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♥
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