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seriousfic) wrote2010-10-13 10:14 am
seriousfic) wrote2010-10-13 10:14 am
Glee fic: Drama in the Glee Club (gen)
Title: Drama in the Glee Club
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 721
Characters/Pairings: Gen
Spoilers: For 2x02 - Britney/Brittany
Summary: When the kids want a class on Justin Bieber, Mr. Shu has to drop some truth bombs.
There was going to be drama, Will just knew. It was a sixth sense he'd developed after meeting Rachel. He just wasn't sure where it would come from. Kurt's crush on Finn? Artie's thing with Tina? Brittany believing that Obama was a Muslim? But when he got to Glee Club, everyone was sitting politely in the bleachers. Had his Shuster-sense tingled inappropriately?
"I've got a real treat for you kids. Chuck Berry. Yes, the pioneer of rock and roll. Without him, there'd be no Elvis, no Beatles, and no Rolling Stones. So today, we'll pay tribute to him by—"
Rachel raised her hand. "Mr. Shu, I believe I speak for everyone, as per usual, when I say I'd rather pay tribute to a true musical genius."
"Hell yeah!" Mercedes agreed. "Enough of your dead white men!"
"Chuck Berry is alive. And black."
"Mr. Shu, listen closely to the sound of revolution." Kurt closed his eyes. "Justin Bieber."
"Who?"
"Justin Bieber is the voice of this and every other generation. Except the sucky ones," Rachel explained.
"Justin Bieber is not for baby boomers," Mercedes confirmed.
"I think I've heard of Justin Bieber," Will said. "The lesbian pop singer?"
"Justin Bieber likes women?" Brittany cried, excited out of her mumbling.
"I don't know, guys. I don't think Justin Bieber will stand the test of time like Chuck Berry."
"A thousand years from now, our ancestors will look back at this era and wonder how men lived with gods," Kurt said.
Will crossed his arms. "You have more issues with God than you do with Britney Spears. Ponder that. Guys, I think this would be a good time to teach you not to associate celebrity with relevance, or talent."
"But I listened to Justin Bieber and now I can walk again!" Artie protested. "I just don't feel like it."
"That's sort of what I'm talking about," Will said warily. "Pop culture is like a giant echo chamber, and it turns everything into either the worst thing ever or the second coming of Christ."
"The second coming of Christ told Justin Bieber he had slick dance moves!" Quinn said.
"Okay, take Madonna for instance. You know her as a sexually transgressive phenom. But did you know she sung the theme song to Die Another Day?"
"But that song was bad!" Finn exclaimed. "How could Madonna sing a song that bad and then give birth to the Baby Jesus?"
"My point exactly. Or Lady Gaga. Does anyone think she wears those crazy outfits when she's alone, or just because she likes them?"
Brittany raised her hand. "I think she wears them in her soul."
"And Britney Spears! I know you were all catching Pokemon when she rose to fame, so it's hard to remember, but the only reason she got famous was for dressing up like a slut and letting men take pictures of her breasts. And she was sixteen, so that combined pedophilia and sex appeal. A potent mix. But you only ever liked her music because you were too young to have taste."
"What about my self-esteem?" Brittany asked. "Britney gave me the confidence to dom Santana."
"It swung from sexy to disquieting, then back to sexy," Santana recalled.
"Brittany, don't you see? The magic was inside you all along. And I am legally required to leave the room if you talk about your sex life again."
"Save it for the next time he raps," Santana whispered to Brittany, who nodded.
"But do you see what I mean? They're just singers, not heroes. Just because something is popular doesn't mean that it's innovative, or has a deeper meaning, or even that it's good. That goes for books, movies, even TV shows! Get it?"
"We get it," Rachel said. "You believe in false gods!"
"The Torah is clear about what to do!" Puck added.
"Wait!" Will cried, backing up. "Don't do anything stupid! I liked Womanizer, it was a good song!"
***
Will jerked awake, screaming.
"What is it, Will?"
"Honey, I just had the most awful dream! I was the teacher of Glee Club, but all my students were really dumb. And we sang and danced all the time, for no reason. Then the kids burned me alive for not liking Brit-Brit."
"Weird. Well, don't worry, darling. You're safe now," said Sue Sylvester.
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 721
Characters/Pairings: Gen
Spoilers: For 2x02 - Britney/Brittany
Summary: When the kids want a class on Justin Bieber, Mr. Shu has to drop some truth bombs.
There was going to be drama, Will just knew. It was a sixth sense he'd developed after meeting Rachel. He just wasn't sure where it would come from. Kurt's crush on Finn? Artie's thing with Tina? Brittany believing that Obama was a Muslim? But when he got to Glee Club, everyone was sitting politely in the bleachers. Had his Shuster-sense tingled inappropriately?
"I've got a real treat for you kids. Chuck Berry. Yes, the pioneer of rock and roll. Without him, there'd be no Elvis, no Beatles, and no Rolling Stones. So today, we'll pay tribute to him by—"
Rachel raised her hand. "Mr. Shu, I believe I speak for everyone, as per usual, when I say I'd rather pay tribute to a true musical genius."
"Hell yeah!" Mercedes agreed. "Enough of your dead white men!"
"Chuck Berry is alive. And black."
"Mr. Shu, listen closely to the sound of revolution." Kurt closed his eyes. "Justin Bieber."
"Who?"
"Justin Bieber is the voice of this and every other generation. Except the sucky ones," Rachel explained.
"Justin Bieber is not for baby boomers," Mercedes confirmed.
"I think I've heard of Justin Bieber," Will said. "The lesbian pop singer?"
"Justin Bieber likes women?" Brittany cried, excited out of her mumbling.
"I don't know, guys. I don't think Justin Bieber will stand the test of time like Chuck Berry."
"A thousand years from now, our ancestors will look back at this era and wonder how men lived with gods," Kurt said.
Will crossed his arms. "You have more issues with God than you do with Britney Spears. Ponder that. Guys, I think this would be a good time to teach you not to associate celebrity with relevance, or talent."
"But I listened to Justin Bieber and now I can walk again!" Artie protested. "I just don't feel like it."
"That's sort of what I'm talking about," Will said warily. "Pop culture is like a giant echo chamber, and it turns everything into either the worst thing ever or the second coming of Christ."
"The second coming of Christ told Justin Bieber he had slick dance moves!" Quinn said.
"Okay, take Madonna for instance. You know her as a sexually transgressive phenom. But did you know she sung the theme song to Die Another Day?"
"But that song was bad!" Finn exclaimed. "How could Madonna sing a song that bad and then give birth to the Baby Jesus?"
"My point exactly. Or Lady Gaga. Does anyone think she wears those crazy outfits when she's alone, or just because she likes them?"
Brittany raised her hand. "I think she wears them in her soul."
"And Britney Spears! I know you were all catching Pokemon when she rose to fame, so it's hard to remember, but the only reason she got famous was for dressing up like a slut and letting men take pictures of her breasts. And she was sixteen, so that combined pedophilia and sex appeal. A potent mix. But you only ever liked her music because you were too young to have taste."
"What about my self-esteem?" Brittany asked. "Britney gave me the confidence to dom Santana."
"It swung from sexy to disquieting, then back to sexy," Santana recalled.
"Brittany, don't you see? The magic was inside you all along. And I am legally required to leave the room if you talk about your sex life again."
"Save it for the next time he raps," Santana whispered to Brittany, who nodded.
"But do you see what I mean? They're just singers, not heroes. Just because something is popular doesn't mean that it's innovative, or has a deeper meaning, or even that it's good. That goes for books, movies, even TV shows! Get it?"
"We get it," Rachel said. "You believe in false gods!"
"The Torah is clear about what to do!" Puck added.
"Wait!" Will cried, backing up. "Don't do anything stupid! I liked Womanizer, it was a good song!"
***
Will jerked awake, screaming.
"What is it, Will?"
"Honey, I just had the most awful dream! I was the teacher of Glee Club, but all my students were really dumb. And we sang and danced all the time, for no reason. Then the kids burned me alive for not liking Brit-Brit."
"Weird. Well, don't worry, darling. You're safe now," said Sue Sylvester.
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"Weird. Well, don't worry, darling. You're safe now," said Sue Sylvester.
Wonderful ending!!
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Yay for crack!
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Woah - I was totally playing Pokemon in fifth grade when Britney Spears did her first single.
thanks for the crack fic - I giggled and reminisced about playing red and blue.
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"Save it for the next time he raps,"
Lolling so hard from that exchange. I loved how Will just broke every massive star down to a few bad decisions. "But you only ever liked her music because you were too young to have taste.</>" Lol, oh Will.
And I quite deeply approve of the ending.
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