2012-07-03

seriousfic: (Spider-Man Night Fever)
2012-07-03 02:20 pm

The List of Stupid Things In The Amazing Spider-Man

Peter: What's this? My dad's old suitcase?

Uncle Ben: Oh yeah. Your father gave that to me before he died. The last thing he said to me before he died was that I keep it safe. It was his dying wish. (beat) I forgot all about it!

Peter: Hmmm… a newspaper clipping hidden inside! It's about my father and someone named Curt Connors! This is brand-new information!

Audience: Uh, if it's from a NEWSPAPER, then it's a matter of public record.

Peter: Maybe if I search for this on Bing, I might find some answers!

Audience: Seriously? That's what leads to this major revelation of your dead father's life? An internet search?

Peter: Well! My father used to work for Oscorp!

Audience: ALL THAT TOOK WAS A SEARCH ON THE INTERNET?

Peter: Well, to be fair, I was using Google before, like a normal person. Bing, that makes all the difference.

Can you spoil a movie where NOTHING HAPPENS? )
seriousfic: (Default)
2012-07-03 06:35 pm

The Top Five Most Okay Superhero Movies Of All Time: Superman Returns

Will The Amazing Spider-Man be worthy of the pantheon of superhero movies that have earned the moniker "not too shabby"? The only way to be sure is to judge its mehsteemed colleagues. First up, Superman Returns, the movie with everything you could want from a Richard Donner Superman movie! Flying! Spandex! Airplanes! Child murder! Stalking! Uhh, dog cannibalism! Cyclops! All that and much, much more*!

*The management will not offer refunds to those who do not get much, much more.