seriousfic (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
seriousfic) wrote2011-06-17 05:41 pm
seriousfic) wrote2011-06-17 05:41 pm
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Green Lantern is the Sweded version of Iron Man
But first, a thought. Isn't the real problem in Rise of the Planet of the Apes that some American city apparently has HUNDREDS of gorillas just hanging around for some reason?
Anyway, Green Lantern is like a charismaless remake of Iron Man with wonky effects and a parade of cliches. I think there should be a drinking game where you and a buddy drink, one of you doing a shot every time a scene is lifted directly from Iron Man (the female lead saved the hero in the climax by typing frantically on a keyboard, SHOT!) and the other doing a shot every time something happens that has been done a hundred times before in every movie ever made (the villain said "You have failed me for the last time!" to an underling and killed him, SHOT!). This is a movie so cliched that the first time the superhero demonstrates his power is in a fight with a bunch of bar toughs. When Stargate SG-1 was parodying superhero movies, they made a point to do that exact scene and then say how cliche it was, out loud. Do you know how much it takes for Stargate SG-1 to say you're cliche? That's like Twilight taking a moment to talk shit about your female characters.
Although, Green Lantern does subvert the cliche by 1. having the hero completely deserve to get beaten up, and 2. having the hero not acting in self-defense, but actually escalating the situation after the toughs have decided to leave him alone.
And I guess that's the biggest problem with Green Lantern. It's the story of two men, one a sweet, endearing nerd who's curious about life on other worlds, geeks out about getting superpowers, and who feels bad when privilege gets him a perk he doesn't feel he deserves. The other is a toolish, irresponsible, self-serving jock who spends all his time whining and either blowing off his gifts or treating them like an asinine hassle. And the jock is the hero. But then, Hector Hammond is ugly, so he can't be a good guy. (Making the equation even more unfair, Hector spends a lot of time speaking for the audience, asking how come he's the villain when the only thing he's done wrong is have an overbearing father, and pointing out how shallow the leads are.)
No, I'm not against flawed anti-heroes, but they have to be written well. They can be entertaining assholes (like Tony Stark), or ones who have a point (like Thor), or even just an excuse. Green Lantern tries to do that last one, with an embarrassing sequence in which Hal's daddy issues literally crash his plane. See, how can you hate him? His dad died! Right in front of him! He was hit by the shockwave of the explosion! (And then, apparently, went to work for the company that made the shoddy plane that blew his dad up on a runway. Okay.)
Instead of spouting awesome one-liners, Hal just shows his abs and at one point has an adorable moppet to hug him (who never shows up again). And it's a bit off that they set up having this irresponsible jackass as Green Lantern, then instead of showing him amusingly abusing his powers, he just mopes around like he's in an episode of Smallville. The whole point of the asshole hero is that you would want to hang out with him; even though you might get your car stolen or end up in Mexico, he's fun to be around. Hal is just a tool. This movie should be Bachelor Party with superpowers and instead Hal is the kind of guy Tom Hanks would leave holding onto a cock in a hot dog bun.
It kinda makes me wonder why they didn't go with Guy Gardner. That's another thing, the movie is really serious, even when Hal is making ridiculous cartoony power-constructs like springs and Hot Wheels tracks. It's like the Mask wandered into this really serious, epic, dramatic movie about fighting demons and the Elephant Man. You'd think when they cast Van Wilder they would be going for a cartoony action-comedy thing, not some dour Merchant-Ivory production.
I will give the movie points for devoting a scene to how stupid and ineffectual the Green Lantern mask is. Well, one point.
ETA: I should apologize, the bit where the villain hates the hero because the villain's daddy likes the hero more and the hero stole the villain's gal isn't from Iron Man, it's from Spider-Man. And Smallville. And maybe X-Men a bit...?
ETA2: This movie really needed to be directed by Sam Raimi, in all his cartoonish, hyperkinetic, goofball glory. And with Bruce Campbell playing Guy Gardner. Maybe Ted Raimi as Tomar Re. I would've watched the shit out of that movie.
Anyway, Green Lantern is like a charismaless remake of Iron Man with wonky effects and a parade of cliches. I think there should be a drinking game where you and a buddy drink, one of you doing a shot every time a scene is lifted directly from Iron Man (the female lead saved the hero in the climax by typing frantically on a keyboard, SHOT!) and the other doing a shot every time something happens that has been done a hundred times before in every movie ever made (the villain said "You have failed me for the last time!" to an underling and killed him, SHOT!). This is a movie so cliched that the first time the superhero demonstrates his power is in a fight with a bunch of bar toughs. When Stargate SG-1 was parodying superhero movies, they made a point to do that exact scene and then say how cliche it was, out loud. Do you know how much it takes for Stargate SG-1 to say you're cliche? That's like Twilight taking a moment to talk shit about your female characters.
Although, Green Lantern does subvert the cliche by 1. having the hero completely deserve to get beaten up, and 2. having the hero not acting in self-defense, but actually escalating the situation after the toughs have decided to leave him alone.
And I guess that's the biggest problem with Green Lantern. It's the story of two men, one a sweet, endearing nerd who's curious about life on other worlds, geeks out about getting superpowers, and who feels bad when privilege gets him a perk he doesn't feel he deserves. The other is a toolish, irresponsible, self-serving jock who spends all his time whining and either blowing off his gifts or treating them like an asinine hassle. And the jock is the hero. But then, Hector Hammond is ugly, so he can't be a good guy. (Making the equation even more unfair, Hector spends a lot of time speaking for the audience, asking how come he's the villain when the only thing he's done wrong is have an overbearing father, and pointing out how shallow the leads are.)
No, I'm not against flawed anti-heroes, but they have to be written well. They can be entertaining assholes (like Tony Stark), or ones who have a point (like Thor), or even just an excuse. Green Lantern tries to do that last one, with an embarrassing sequence in which Hal's daddy issues literally crash his plane. See, how can you hate him? His dad died! Right in front of him! He was hit by the shockwave of the explosion! (And then, apparently, went to work for the company that made the shoddy plane that blew his dad up on a runway. Okay.)
Instead of spouting awesome one-liners, Hal just shows his abs and at one point has an adorable moppet to hug him (who never shows up again). And it's a bit off that they set up having this irresponsible jackass as Green Lantern, then instead of showing him amusingly abusing his powers, he just mopes around like he's in an episode of Smallville. The whole point of the asshole hero is that you would want to hang out with him; even though you might get your car stolen or end up in Mexico, he's fun to be around. Hal is just a tool. This movie should be Bachelor Party with superpowers and instead Hal is the kind of guy Tom Hanks would leave holding onto a cock in a hot dog bun.
It kinda makes me wonder why they didn't go with Guy Gardner. That's another thing, the movie is really serious, even when Hal is making ridiculous cartoony power-constructs like springs and Hot Wheels tracks. It's like the Mask wandered into this really serious, epic, dramatic movie about fighting demons and the Elephant Man. You'd think when they cast Van Wilder they would be going for a cartoony action-comedy thing, not some dour Merchant-Ivory production.
I will give the movie points for devoting a scene to how stupid and ineffectual the Green Lantern mask is. Well, one point.
ETA: I should apologize, the bit where the villain hates the hero because the villain's daddy likes the hero more and the hero stole the villain's gal isn't from Iron Man, it's from Spider-Man. And Smallville. And maybe X-Men a bit...?
ETA2: This movie really needed to be directed by Sam Raimi, in all his cartoonish, hyperkinetic, goofball glory. And with Bruce Campbell playing Guy Gardner. Maybe Ted Raimi as Tomar Re. I would've watched the shit out of that movie.
no subject
And if you want to hang out with an asshole there's something wrong with you.