This will not end in fire at all

[seriousfic]

Speedy Gonzalez movie to be made, have George Lopez, be politically correct. Yeah, that'll be great.

Older audience: Hey, Speedy Gonzalez, I loved those cartoons! I'll take my kids to go see that!

George Lopez: And it's not racist like it used to be!

Older audience: ...Speedy Gonzalez isn't racist.

George Lopez: Yes, he is. But not anymore!

Older audience: Why are you making a movie about a character you think is racist?

George Lopez: So that you'll want to kill yourself even more as you witness the abomination we've created in the name of providing kids with imagination-free, merchandise-driven crapfests!

Young audience: We'll pretty much eat up anything so long as you can fill a two minute trailer with talking animals, dated pop culture references, and CGI.

Comments

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

It's like a perfect storm of failure.

There's literally no part of this that deserves to be set to film.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

George Lopez doesn't even sound like Speedy Gonzalez. They just got the first Hispanic 'name' they could think of! That's actually more racist than the old cartoons. Can you imagine if someone did that with Elmer Fudd? "Hunh, we need someone white... get me Tobey Maguire on the phone!"

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

Naw, dude.

For that to be equivalent, it'd be Dane Cook.

Of course, now that you mention it, John Leguizamo could ALMOST redeem something like this, if they just let him go all-out fuck-the-all-ages-approved rating.

[rann.livejournal.com]

I bet he wasn't even the first Hispanic "name" they thought of... just the least controversial. The Hispanic Wayne Brady, if you will.

In a few years and a few more "family friendly" endeavors, Lopez is going to have to get on some sketch comedy show and threaten to choke a bitch.

[colonel-green.livejournal.com]

No other male Hispanic comedians of markedly higher profile come to mind.

[rann.livejournal.com]

There's John Leguizamo, for one. I doubt he was doing anything he wouldn't drop for an actual paycheck. And if they're going to go for a "Young Speedy sets out to find his place in the world", he's gotta have a more appropriate voice for it than Lopez, on whom you can just hear the middle age.

There's also another high-profile comedian who at least pretends to be Hispanic. But let's be real, no one who could pass a competency hearing would suggest him for anything vaguely family-oriented.

Though really, I think the real key here is that Lopez and his wife are the producers. I somehow imagine that had a loooooot to do with this choice.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Cheech and Chong?