seriousfic (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
seriousfic) wrote2010-02-01 01:39 pm
seriousfic) wrote2010-02-01 01:39 pm
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Legend of the Seeker
I’m going to review both Dark and Perdition at once, since they’re almost a two-parter in how Dark is set-up for Perdition’s pay-off. And Perdition does deliver a suitably epic pay-off, even if it makes you work for it.
The big deal is obviously Leo, so let’s start with him. Cara, I know I said you should find your Scott Free, but maybe wait five minutes before you fall in love with him, gawd. Okay, it was really more of a ‘Cara’s first kiss’ story (and nothing you say can make me think different) so even if Nicci hadn’t thrown the world’s truthiest barbeque, I don’t think they would’ve ended up together. And how much do I love that Cara was Captain Kirk and Leo was the disposable space girlfriend? Kahlan was all ‘he like-likes you’ and Cara was all ‘obvs, I’ve got hoes in every area code.” Then after the sex, Leo was like ‘I think we should record an answering machine message together!” and she was just “dude, I hit it, then I quit it.” She laid her game down flat like crepe.
But did anyone stop to think that this whole subplot was kinda hinky?
Leo: Hey sexy mamma, wanna kill all Banelings?
Cara: I’m not interested. I’M NOT INTERESTED. …okay, let’s fuck. I wuv you!
I know a romance subplot is the pretty obvious next step in Cara’s journey, but I wish it was better integrated into the show. Maybe a recurring character, not someone who shows up for two episodes and spends all his time trying to get into Cara’s catsuit (in a non-drag-queen sort of way).
Plus, it’s getting pretty silly how all of Cara’s romantic interludes are with men, while she’s only bisexual in the dialogue. What is she, in college? I get that this is a silly action/adventure show meant to sell soup and not an Emmy-Award-winning drama on FX, so Cara and Kahlan aren’t going to get hot and heavy anytime soon, but why even make the character bisexual if she’s just going to kiss one girl and then be entirely straight? I can understand if the actress is straight and doesn’t want to do a lot of scenes kissing women… no one’s asking Craig Horner to make out with dudes, after all… but it’s still a bit annoying in a “Why did you even bring this up?” sort of way. I’m just saying, if there’s a video game or a comic book, Cara should spend all her time macking on ladies, just to make things even. Or there should be a Cara action figure with special girl-kissing action.
Leo himself was a disappointment, even if Tabrett Bethell could have chemistry with a rock, or Keanu Reeves. As soon as they said they were getting a new Seeker, you’d think it would be someone like “Hey, it’s that guy from that show!”
Pictured: A guy from a show.
Instead, it was just some... guy. He wasn’t really distinctive or interesting at all. He was just like Richard with his switch set to Cara instead of Kahlan. I thought he’d be, like, a little kid or a psycho or something. Plus, the scant screentime dedicated to his epic love with Cara (la la la, first kiss, not a real relationship) made him look clingy and weird. He said he loved Cara, but didn’t seem to get her at all. Giving her a flower? Really? But in his defense, at least he wasn’t Flynn.
As for the episodes themselves, they suffered from pacing. It’s like no one was willing to do an episode without either Richard or Kahlan, so they got dueling storylines which both seemed anemic. Waaaaaaay too much time got spent on Richard’s bad dream, which is about as interesting as it sounds. And isn’t his big fear that he would go over to the Dark Side? And then his big clue isn’t that Kahlan wants to bone him while five minutes ago she was happily married to Richard White, but that she tells him to kill himself. Oh, SHOW.
Oh, and the show made a rare BAD change from the book series. As I recall, in the books the Palace of the Prophets had a spell that made you age very slowly, because it took decades to learn how to use magic. That makes sense. You spend hundreds of years mastering your Han, but don’t age, so when you leave, you’re still young enough to take care of business and you know how to do it.
In the show, time just moves faster in the Palace than it does outside, which seems really counterintuitive. If the Sisters of the Light have to deal with a new threat, they have much less time to do it. Plus, anyone they train will have to deal with being completely out of touch with the world when they leave, not to mention that all their loved ones will be dead. And it’s all for no real reason. Why not enchant time to move slower? Or, hell, just let Richard go outside, camp out, teach him everything he needs to know, then he can leave without having missed anything. The books’ idea that it takes hundreds of years to learn how to use your Han would also make sense of Richard’s haste to get rid of his magic.
Also, did anyone else see a big hole in Richard’s Han plan, namely that he’d be giving an evil sociopath superpowers? What he should’ve done was tell Verna “You seem cool. I’m going to give you my Han while I do my thing, then I’ll come back and learn the ways of the Force, I’ll bring Kahlan along, you’ll like her, she makes a mean bowl of queso. If you won’t do it, I’ll have to give my Han to a Sister of the Dark. Also, I’m gonna need that Radahan so I can do nasty things inside my gf. It’s gonna look like the filming of Cutthroat Island.” That’s what I would’ve done, at least.
The big deal is obviously Leo, so let’s start with him. Cara, I know I said you should find your Scott Free, but maybe wait five minutes before you fall in love with him, gawd. Okay, it was really more of a ‘Cara’s first kiss’ story (and nothing you say can make me think different) so even if Nicci hadn’t thrown the world’s truthiest barbeque, I don’t think they would’ve ended up together. And how much do I love that Cara was Captain Kirk and Leo was the disposable space girlfriend? Kahlan was all ‘he like-likes you’ and Cara was all ‘obvs, I’ve got hoes in every area code.” Then after the sex, Leo was like ‘I think we should record an answering machine message together!” and she was just “dude, I hit it, then I quit it.” She laid her game down flat like crepe.
But did anyone stop to think that this whole subplot was kinda hinky?
Leo: Hey sexy mamma, wanna kill all Banelings?
Cara: I’m not interested. I’M NOT INTERESTED. …okay, let’s fuck. I wuv you!
I know a romance subplot is the pretty obvious next step in Cara’s journey, but I wish it was better integrated into the show. Maybe a recurring character, not someone who shows up for two episodes and spends all his time trying to get into Cara’s catsuit (in a non-drag-queen sort of way).
Plus, it’s getting pretty silly how all of Cara’s romantic interludes are with men, while she’s only bisexual in the dialogue. What is she, in college? I get that this is a silly action/adventure show meant to sell soup and not an Emmy-Award-winning drama on FX, so Cara and Kahlan aren’t going to get hot and heavy anytime soon, but why even make the character bisexual if she’s just going to kiss one girl and then be entirely straight? I can understand if the actress is straight and doesn’t want to do a lot of scenes kissing women… no one’s asking Craig Horner to make out with dudes, after all… but it’s still a bit annoying in a “Why did you even bring this up?” sort of way. I’m just saying, if there’s a video game or a comic book, Cara should spend all her time macking on ladies, just to make things even. Or there should be a Cara action figure with special girl-kissing action.
Leo himself was a disappointment, even if Tabrett Bethell could have chemistry with a rock, or Keanu Reeves. As soon as they said they were getting a new Seeker, you’d think it would be someone like “Hey, it’s that guy from that show!”
Pictured: A guy from a show.
Instead, it was just some... guy. He wasn’t really distinctive or interesting at all. He was just like Richard with his switch set to Cara instead of Kahlan. I thought he’d be, like, a little kid or a psycho or something. Plus, the scant screentime dedicated to his epic love with Cara (la la la, first kiss, not a real relationship) made him look clingy and weird. He said he loved Cara, but didn’t seem to get her at all. Giving her a flower? Really? But in his defense, at least he wasn’t Flynn.
As for the episodes themselves, they suffered from pacing. It’s like no one was willing to do an episode without either Richard or Kahlan, so they got dueling storylines which both seemed anemic. Waaaaaaay too much time got spent on Richard’s bad dream, which is about as interesting as it sounds. And isn’t his big fear that he would go over to the Dark Side? And then his big clue isn’t that Kahlan wants to bone him while five minutes ago she was happily married to Richard White, but that she tells him to kill himself. Oh, SHOW.
Oh, and the show made a rare BAD change from the book series. As I recall, in the books the Palace of the Prophets had a spell that made you age very slowly, because it took decades to learn how to use magic. That makes sense. You spend hundreds of years mastering your Han, but don’t age, so when you leave, you’re still young enough to take care of business and you know how to do it.
In the show, time just moves faster in the Palace than it does outside, which seems really counterintuitive. If the Sisters of the Light have to deal with a new threat, they have much less time to do it. Plus, anyone they train will have to deal with being completely out of touch with the world when they leave, not to mention that all their loved ones will be dead. And it’s all for no real reason. Why not enchant time to move slower? Or, hell, just let Richard go outside, camp out, teach him everything he needs to know, then he can leave without having missed anything. The books’ idea that it takes hundreds of years to learn how to use your Han would also make sense of Richard’s haste to get rid of his magic.
Also, did anyone else see a big hole in Richard’s Han plan, namely that he’d be giving an evil sociopath superpowers? What he should’ve done was tell Verna “You seem cool. I’m going to give you my Han while I do my thing, then I’ll come back and learn the ways of the Force, I’ll bring Kahlan along, you’ll like her, she makes a mean bowl of queso. If you won’t do it, I’ll have to give my Han to a Sister of the Dark. Also, I’m gonna need that Radahan so I can do nasty things inside my gf. It’s gonna look like the filming of Cutthroat Island.” That’s what I would’ve done, at least.