Movie Review: Hellboy 2

Well, with all the hoopla over TDK (deserved), I suppose comics fandom has passed by Hellboy 2. I haven’t seen this bad a scheduling since The Punisher was released the same weekend as Kill Bill (a shame; Tom Jane OWNED Frank Castle the same way RDJ does Tony Stark). It’s too bad because even though it has a much smaller stature, I think HB2 is just as effective as TDK. More so, in some ways. TDK keeps tripping over its own shoes with the portrayal of the Batman himself, with the silly Goodyear suit and the awkward voice. Ron Perlman, on the other hand, breathes Hellboy. However, some overly blatant manipulation hampers the movie, keeping it from being all it could be.

( ”Spoilers.” )

As a sidenote, this movie is slashy as hell. Hellboy and Abe sing a love song, Abe and Johann are practically love in first sight, and there's 'cestiness. You know, if you're into that. I'm not judging you. Except silently.

OH, FRANK!

There is not a font big enough for the OH, FRANK! I am feeling at the moment.

From SHH's description of Frank Miller's The Spirit. "Police officer Denny Colt is nearly killed by a bullet wound but awakens to find himself in 'a new reality,' able to do things he couldn't before." Soon he meets DCI Gene Hunt, with whom he solves case with 21st century... wait, no.

"In addition to incredible endurance, Colt's pheromones have been altered, causing mutual attraction between himself and any woman he meets."

...

Wait, that's...

...

I mean, how...

...

But that's just...

...

I MEAN!!!



Frank Miller has just trolled every feminist who ever complained about female superhumans with the power of seduction. Hold on a second, let me square things around...

"In addition to incredible endurance, Colt's pheromones have been altered, causing mutual attraction between himself and any woman he meets. Colt has become a conservative, whose virile sex drive overpowers the libido of any woman he meets with sheer love of fiscal responsibility and military readiness."

There, now I feel sane again.