True story, swear to God

[seriousfic]

Today, a co-worker asked me to spoil him for the Harry Potter series. He'd watched the movies, but couldn't get anywhere with the books. Not that one could blame him; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is to books what the MOAB is to bombs. This conversation ensued. See if you can guess the point at which he becomes incredulous.

Dan: Is it true he died and came back to life?

Me: Actually, they all died. There was this big explosion... but then they went back in time...

Dan: And avoided the explosion.

Me: Yeah.

Dan: Is it true Snape helps them?

Me: Snape has the time machine.

At this point, I am no longer able to keep a straight face. You try saying that Snape has a time machine. Nonetheless, Dan remains open-minded.

Me: There's this Delorean he cast a spell on. In fact, the last shot is of Snape and Harry and Ron and Hermione going to the future. Harry asks to get his broom so he can fly when he gets there, but Snape says "Where we're going, we don't need brooms."

Dan: And that's the end of Harry Potter?

Me: No, there's a sequel where they go to help Harry's son, Albus Severus, but Scorpius Malfoy gets this almanac of Quidditch scores...

Dan: This sounds a lot like Back To The Future.

Me: I know! There were a bunch of people online complaining that it was so much like Back To The Future. Then in the third one, they go back to the Old West, where Voldemort is an evil cowboy...

Dan: (realization setting in) You're such a douche.

Comments

[museofspeed.livejournal.com]

...I would love that book far too much. This? Is better than Harry Potter.

[rangerinblack.livejournal.com]

Holy shit that is hilarious, I wish I could have been there!!

[prozacpark.livejournal.com]

Um, I might have fallen for the first bit of it and was like, "Really? It has time travel? Maybe I'll give it a try after all." ;)

In my defense, though, I have neither seen the movies nor read the books.

[lejo.livejournal.com]

At the risk of seeming the ueber-nerd in even this august, nerdly company: There's already time travel. Hermoine has that pendant from, like, the second or third one? The one that introduces Patronus and Dementors.

[derawr.livejournal.com]

She had the time turner in the third book, but I'm pretty sure she had to give that back at the end of the school year. She only got it in the first place so she could be in several classes at the same time.

We did see some time turners again in the fifth book down in the Department of Mysteries. I'm pretty sure a whole rack of them got destroyed or something. Also, one of the bad guys got his head stuck in some jar or something, and it made his head age to that of an old man's and then had it become an infant's head and it just circled on like that...