BSG 4x03 - I take it 'Crazy Bitch Fun Hour' is not the real title?

[seriousfic]

I'm sorry, I just can't care about the Cylon Civil War. They're the bad guys! I really only care insofar as their bullshit meanders on the heroes, but at some point Ron Moore & Co decided to tell some stories with Cylons as the heroes in their own right. As a standalone episode, it was cool. As a continuing subplot, it's worn out its welcome. Besides, wouldn't it be cooler to have the Cylons show up at the Galactica's doorstep and just casually reveal all the changes they've been through to make them even deadlier yet more relatable and morally gray?

Lee, look, no, okay, Lee? Roslin is Dr. Doom with breasts and glasses. You fucked up Plan A (kill Baltar) and now you're fucking up Plan B (kill any future Baltars/double-kill Baltar). I've seen this movie, and after Forest Whittaker's eye bulges out, you get hooks through your nipples.

One thing I hate about the characterization on this show is that it often happens in Offscreenville. For instance, Tory is feeling sexually experimental. This serves as build-up to her killing a person in cold blood. WTF?

And man, does that ever confirm the show's sexual politics or what? Good people have straight sex in the missionary position for reproductive purposes only; otherwise they demonstrate their love by sweetly chaste things like reading to each other and torturing people on their beloved's behalf. Bad people have kinky threesomes and hardcore lesbian sex. Tory's entire character arc is that she goes from sex out of wedlock (Gaius) to adultery (Tyrol) to flushing people out airlocks. I'm no fantard, I know I'm definitely reading too much into this, but there's some definite unfortunate implications there.

Speaking of, is being a ho-bag something you just get with your Cylon badge or is it something you catch from Gaius? Because maybe he gave it to Six, who gave it to the rest of the Cylons... or did she give it to him? Food for thought, my friends. Food for thought.

I find it kinda hard to feel sympathy for Cally when the only thought I had about her airlocking herself and her baby was "is she doing this because her kid's half-Cylon?" That, and the IITS reasoning for not just going to Adama and telling him that there are hostile Cylons onboard. She has no reason to think they're mostly harmless Cylons. For all she knows, they're plotting to stomp on a basket of kittens. Yet she can't even leave a suicide note that says "oh, BTW, Tigh and whore girl Tory and Tyrol are Cylons. Don't feed Nicholas algae... oh, wait"?

As for the Demetrious subplot... well, they've certainly put a lot of wattage, star-wise, on there, eh? Somewhere, Roslin is cackling to herself and saying "yeah, not so easy being irrationally messanic, is it, little miss butch boots?" I can understand what they're setting up with those who volunteered vs. (literally) those who were ordered, but I don't understand why suspected Cylon/confirmed crazy person Kara has to be in charge. She couldn't just be navigator? I know, I know, they're probably setting up a mutiny storyline, but that could be done just as easily by having Kara disagree with the other commander. Maybe they're trying to set up a role reversal with the Man-sticker-it-to'er becoming the Man, but the time for that is long past and it definitely doesn't segue out of "Kara the Kooky Earth-Seeker." It's like bringing back the Kara/Lee stuf-OH SHIT!

So, now that this should be taken as a sign that I care, but has Anders figured out that Kara slept with Lee on New Caprica before her evil, pregnant twin sister got into a drunk driving accident with her rapist? Because that hate-sex scene seemed like the opportune time to reveal it. Maybe it would've given the generic slap-slap-kiss scene some oomph (beyond that of a hot woman telling a hot man to fuck her hard) and unpredictability. I'd say Anders needs to have a love affair, because in Crazy Earth-is-thataway! Land, that would probably mean he truly cares about Kara, but unfortunately Kat is long dead and so there's issues incompatibility.

Meanwhile, Helo and Athena are having hot, hot, straight missionary sex for the purposes of reproduction.